Somewhere Only We Know(65)

“You were taking photos of her, weren’t you?” That accusatory tone. “For Trevor?”

I nodded curtly. “Yes.”

“Man.”

“Are you … judging me?” I said, incredulous.

He started the cab, driving at a snail’s pace, which he never did. His eyes swept the streets and I realized he was looking for Lucky. “Yeah, I’m judging you. You know, when you started this job, I thought it was fine. Like, get that celeb money. I feel you. We have to hustle. But you know what? Ever since you started that internship, I’ve heard you complain about the ordinariness of your parents’ lives. How you hate working at the bank and wish you could do something more interesting. But then something … extraordinary comes along, and you mess it up.”

I was speechless. What the hell, Charlie? Since when did he care about me complaining? We were complaining buddies! Both of us broke and hungry for something else. It was our bond. I stared at him, my jaw probably scraping the floor of the cab.

“Having a chance to spend a day with a girl like Lucky? It’s the magic, the adventure, the opportunity of a lifetime.”

“Because she’s famous?” I finally managed to say.

He made a sharp turn. “No, you fool. Because she likes you and you like her and that’s special.”

I wanted to jump out of the car with a “Screw you, dude.” But under that impulse was recognition. That Charlie was right. That he had exposed what I had been feeling—like I was a lying piece of garbage who didn’t deserve even a second of Lucky’s time.

“Well, that’s over now,” I said quietly. “She’s never going to speak to me again. I’m never going to see her again.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll find her.” His voice was firm, his eyes still searching around us.

It was reassuring even though Charlie was often confident about things that didn’t work out.

The chaos of the day hit me like a ton of bricks and I leaned my forehead against the window, staring at the passing scenery, looking for that familiar figure.

Lucky finding out the truth was always a possibility. I had kept pushing back my real feelings for her when the idea started to bother me. I thought it would be okay for Lucky to hate me after today. That she didn’t mean that much to me.

But now the thought of it made me want to die.

An actual human tear ran down my face, and I wiped it away before Charlie could spot it. Good God.

All I wanted at that moment was Lucky in front of me. So I could explain myself. So I could feel her warmth and infectious joy. Nothing else mattered.

And that’s when I saw the cat.





CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE


LUCKY


The only thing running through my mind was, get away.

As far away as possible from that bar and Jack and every bad feeling roiling through me right now.

I ignored the drunk dudes as I pushed through the bar-hopping crowds, gasping for air as I tried to hold back tears.

Someone yelled out, “What’s the hurry, babe?”

It was nothing. Another drunk loser trying to talk to any girl who walked by him. But the word “babe” stopped me in my tracks. I turned around slowly and stared at the tall guy in the popped polo. He grinned, clamping a cigarette between his teeth.

Don’t do anything. Ignore him. So I did, walking away.

“Bitch.”

Every part of me wanted to sprint up to him and land a roundhouse kick to his face. Wanted to tear him apart with my teeth.

But it wasn’t smart. A lone girl surrounded by drunk guys. This wasn’t the time for that battle. I needed to get to my hotel. So I allowed him to live, the sting of that insult on my retreating back, and bit back tears.

The effort made my throat raw and I barely breathed as I stumbled through the crowd. Everything hurt. And it wasn’t because some entitled creep called me a bitch.

Registering Jack’s betrayal was so intense that I felt it inside my organs. Felt it eat away at everything good and pure and happy about today.

I thought of how much I had shown him. Exposed. How much I had given him. Not only a few kisses in dark places. A part of myself had been unlocked at some point today. A discovery of so many tiny and big feelings.

And that discovery had led to me risking my entire career with that karaoke performance. The triumph and clarity I had felt earlier was completely gone now. What had I done? What had I done because of some stupid guy? A guy I didn’t even know.

The entire day flashed through my mind through a different lens. Everything I had enjoyed and experienced was now dissected and analyzed by a stranger with a camera. Because that’s who Jack was to me now.

The streets grew quieter, and emptied out the farther away I went from the bars. The lights lining the steep streets burned yellow and were diffused in the fog that had rolled in from the harbor.

I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t be that girl crying in the street in the middle of the night.

Find me.

Even when I hated him, I wanted to see him.

I kept walking without knowing how the heck to get back to my hotel. What was the name of it, even?

Then I remembered who I was.

Be discovered. Then Ren would find me.

I took a few more shuddering breaths and straightened out my shoulders, feeling that familiar and practiced self-control pull me up toward the sky, like a string tugging on the top of my head.