Smolder (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, #29)(95)

“Then help me find my way out, Anita,” Ru said.

I frowned and said, “I can shower you with bread crumbs if you give me a minute.”

He smiled, then turned to his sister. He kissed her on the cheek, ever so gently. “You know what I want.”

“I do,” she said.

“But it will impact you as Rodrigo being enchanted in Ireland.”

“More.” And she frowned as she said it. She started swinging their hands a little between them like an old habit from real childhood come back to haunt or remind.

“You forbade me to ask her for it.”

“I did”—she looked at the ground again, swinging their hands idly between them—“but if you are in our dreams as Rodrigo, then you must believe that I would rather have him here than you, or that he is you, or some complicated emotional . . . confusion.” She looked up at him suddenly, her face very serious. “I did not mean to make you feel like that. Rodrigo did not mean to make you feel less than we are.”

“He thought I was weak and told me often.”

She shook his hand in hers harder. “Rodrigo said what he believed, but he loved you, Ru. He loved you dearly, as I do.”

He smiled, and I was beginning feel like we were voyeurs at their first therapy session. Like we should all just quietly go take showers and leave them to it.

“Please don’t go without me,” Ru said.

“Go where without you?” I asked.

“The shower, or the bedroom, I feel how hungry you are for the ardeur and I would ask to be your food tonight.”

“Um . . . since you can’t tell me no, that’s a little too close to nonconsensual sex, so no. It’s a lovely offer, but I will not take advantage of someone who cannot tell me no.”

“Gods and goddesses of the ages, you are so sincere, so earnest, like some holy knight of old who actually meant his vows. You aren’t approaching him for sex, Anita, he’s approaching you. He wants to have sex with you, he’s wanted to since the trip to Florida,” Rodina said, rolling her eyes and sounding like every disgusted mean girl you’d ever heard.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I can feel your confusion. Somehow you feel responsible for me—sorry, for us—even though our brother did so many terrible things to you and yours.”

“I don’t blame you for your brother,” I said.

“Thank you, but I want a home, Anita. I want to truly belong someplace that is for me, not because Dina or Roddy chose it, but because I want it.”

“Sex doesn’t make you belong, not on its own,” I said.

“Not having sex doesn’t make you belong either,” he said.

I couldn’t argue with his logic, but I really wanted to. Since they could read my thoughts I said it out loud. “I don’t know what to say right now, so hold that thought.” I turned to the rest of the group and caught Edward at the edge of the crowd. I realized that he hadn’t moved in to protect us when all the supernatural bodyguards had been nervous. He’d known somehow that it wouldn’t come to that.

How was it that one of the few people in the room with no ability to hear anyone’s thoughts, or feel anyone else’s feelings, was the one person who had read the situation right? He gave me a little smile and then raised his eyebrows at me and just like that he brought me back to myself, to the now.

Everything else could wait.

“We need a plan for Deimos before we do anything else,” I said.

“He will want to sleep in dragon form,” Ru said.

Rodina nodded. “Ru is right, he changes shape, and each shape is real, but he is not as comfortable in human form.”

“So, he’ll need someplace big enough for him to sleep comfortably in,” I said.

“Warehouses,” Nicky suggested.

Jean-Claude said, “Does he prefer creature comforts, or will sleeping rough on a warehouse floor be enough for him?”

“Why does that matter?” I asked.

“If he is staying in a warehouse, but cushions and bedding are being delivered to it, that would raise a flag, would it not?”

“Some warehouses sell bedding, or at least store it and ship it out to stores,” Nicky said.

“But I am not saying we look for mass purchases of bedding, Nicky. I mean soft pillows, velvet cushions, expensive coverlets in small, personal purchases delivered to warehouses or semiabandoned buildings.”

“If you do not want to be found, then you live without luxuries until your mission is over,” Rodina said.

“I have known more than one master vampire who was found because they could not live without their comforts,” Jean-Claude said.

“He slept on bare floor in a cave back in ancient Greece,” Ru said.

“If he has been active in the modern world he will be accustomed to softer care than that,” Jean-Claude said.

“If he hasn’t changed, then his needs will be minimal,” Jake said.

“So, luxuries will not be the way to find him,” Jean-Claude said.

“Where has he been for the last few thousand years?” I asked.

“I would like to know that, as well, ma petite.”

“What difference would that make?” Ru asked.

“Has he learned to read modern Greek, or any other language? Can he read at all?” Jean-Claude asked.