Sisters by Choice (Blackberry Island #4)(111)

He released her. “I should be going.”

What? “You’re leaving?”

He gave her a lopsided smile. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome. Thank you for dinner. It was perfect.” He leaned in and lightly kissed her mouth. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

The words were automatic as she still tried to process the fact that he was going to walk away without even trying to have sex with her. What was up with that?

Even as the question formed, she recognized that perhaps she was being slightly unfair. Not only couldn’t he read her mind, in her head, she also knew he was making the right decision. Having sex so soon would complicate an already difficult situation. But that didn’t mean she had to like it.

“Want to go out to brunch tomorrow?” he asked. “Maybe catch a movie after?”

She had a thousand things she needed to do, but decided they could wait. “I’d like that.”

“I’ll text you in the morning and we’ll figure out a time.”

Jaxsen went downstairs to say goodbye to the boys. She retreated to the family room where she curled up in a corner of the sofa. Her body was still humming but that would fade. More important was the fact that they’d made a decision to move forward with their marriage and to learn to do better with each other. A new and improved Jaxsen might take some getting used to but she had a feeling it would be worth it in the end.

As for herself, well, she wasn’t blameless. Every relationship required both parties to be fully responsible. She had a feeling that the counselor was going to tell her it was time for her to step up her game, as well.



Chapter Thirty


Heather wrestled with both guilt and the promise of freedom for nearly a week. She understood that staying was the easy choice—she would live as she always had. She would be trapped forever, but it was familiar.

Leaving meant the chance to be more, do more, but it also came with the risk of striking out on her own. She would be forced to find out if she was capable of being successful in college, in a job she loved. She would be assessed, critiqued, judged, all by people who didn’t know and love her.

She understood that in this moment of time, there was a door and she could walk through it or she could close it forever. There wasn’t a lot of middle ground. After wrestling with her two options, she came to the only conclusion she could and still have a chance to be the person she desperately wanted to be.

She dressed carefully for work and once she was at her desk, she emailed Elliot and asked if she could have a few minutes of his time.

When she knocked on his open door, he smiled at her. “Come in, Heather.”

She stepped inside, then closed the door behind her. She had a notepad with her salient points in one hand and a couple of tissues in the other. Her goal was not to cry, but she had a feeling she might get a little emotional and wanted to be prepared.

She sat on the edge of the visitor seat and drew in a breath. “I wanted to tell you that I’m going to be giving notice today.”

Elliot’s dark eyes were unreadable. “I see. May I ask why?”

“I need to get away. Off the island. It’s complicated but right now I feel as if I can break free. If I don’t go now, I never will.”

“Because of your mother?”

She nodded. “We had a big fight and she threw me out a few weeks ago. I’ve been staying with Sophie. If I go back, I’ll end up signing a lease on an apartment and I’ll be trapped. I don’t want that.” She pressed her lips together. “I know that doesn’t make sense to you. You’d be much stronger, but this is the best I can do.”

He leaned back in his chair. “You’re giving me more credit than I deserve. We all cave when it comes to our mothers. So what’s the plan?”

“I’m going to move to Boise. I’ll get a couple of jobs and rent a room somewhere, saving as much money as I can for college. When I’ve lived there a year, I’ll apply to Boise State. They have a good program and I’m excited to make it work.”

She wanted to say she knew Boise State wasn’t Michigan or Notre Dame or any other school on the list, but it was doable and right now that mattered a lot.

He studied her. As always, he was perfectly dressed in a tailored suit. He exuded confidence and competence. She wanted to be like that one day—a successful member of the marketing world. Doing her job well, respecting her fellow employees as she was respected by them.

She wanted financial success, too, but somehow that seemed a little less important than finding her way.

“I’ll admit I’m disappointed,” he said.

Her eyes widened. “Why would you say that? I can’t stay here, Elliot. I can’t. I’ll be trapped forever.” She blinked to hold back tears. “I know it’s not New York or Chicago, but—”

He offered her a gentle smile. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I’m not disappointed you’re leaving, Heather. I’ll miss you, but you’re right. You need to get out of here, while you can. I meant that I wish I’d gotten my information together sooner so you wouldn’t have to decide.”

He pulled a thick folder out of his desk and pushed it toward her. “I hear Los Angeles is beautiful this time of year.”

She opened the folder and saw a letter of acceptance from USC.