Scared of Beautiful (Scared #1)(51)

The next morning I wake up and decide to head back to Atlanta early. The prospect eliminates the risk of me running into Maia, allows me to keep an eye on Emmanuel, and make sure he stays away from my family and friends. Not to mention, this way I’m able to gauge what the hell he’s up to.

I had hoped that when I woke up, I’d be in some kind of an alternate universe, where nothing else existed except Maia and me, and where all of this bullshit had disappeared. But sadly, I awoke to the sounds of the same stoner roommate, and no word from Maia. Not that I’m surprised. I make a call to Emmanuel, telling him to buy the airline ticket and I make my way over to the airport. So long, Brown. It’s been real.

Emmanuel’s ugly ass monster truck is waiting for me when I walk out of the terminal. I fling my bag into the back and climb wordlessly into the front seat. “What, no hello, homie?” Emmanuel jibes.

“We’re not f-ucking friends, not anymore. This is business. Let’s just get this shit over with,” I reply coldly.

Turns out that Emmanuel’s master plan involves hijacking an armored van in the middle of the night. Truthfully, I didn’t think he was that damn clever, but when he tells me the finer details I realize that he has actually thought it through. That it may just work. Better still, my role is small. He and his man on the inside, the second armored guard, jack the truck. My job is to cover them with a nine-millimeter and make sure we get away. The guard stays behind and will give a bogus description of the robbers.

“What about the other guard, the driver. Won’t he be able to identify you?” I ask.

“He won’t live to tell anyone,” Emmanuel replies, devoid of any emotion.

Murder? No one said anything about f-ucking murder.

Emmanuel pulls up to my house and looks over towards me. “Monday night. And Jay, don’t go soft on me. That’s the type of shit that gets people killed.”

Jade comes over almost immediately after I walk through the door. I sent her a text to say that I had landed earlier. I expected a not so positive reaction from my parents when I walked back into the house. My father’s brow furrows with concern and my mother wrings her hands nervously around a kitchen towel. They assume, and let’s face it, with my past, who could blame them, that I’m back here up to no good. They would be right. After greeting them and spending over an hour reassuring them, Jade and I make our way to my bedroom. I breathe a huge sigh of relief at the fact that my mother didn’t ask after Maia. The same as we did when we were growing up, we sit across from each other on the bed cross-legged. Old habits die hard. I have a feeling that she wants to discuss my situations with both Maia and Emmanuel. The first I don’t want to discuss, and the latter I can’t. Jade probes, nonetheless.

“You don’t have to do this,” she says, her face clouded with concern.

“I do. It gets Emmanuel off my back,” I reply, distractedly fingering the corner of my pillow.

“For how long? How long before he threatens you again? Before he threatens to hurt me or Maia or your parents? He’ll hold that shit over you every time.”

I know she’s right. “What do I do Jade? You know he always follows through,” I argue.

“I don’t like the way you treated Maia,” Jade says, the disapproval evident in her tone. “I don’t particularly approve of the way she treated you, either. But if you’re in love with her and she’s in love with you, I don’t see the issue.”

“Neither do I, Jade!” I say throwing my hands up in frustration. “Maybe Maia really is more damaged than any of us realized,” I say, feeling tortured that I couldn’t change that for her.

“It’ll work out eventually,” Jade says knowingly.

“Really?” I say sarcastically. “Because the last time I checked, shit does not work out for me. The universe f-ucking hates me, Jade. Things in my life are meant to be f*cked up, and hard. That’s just the way it is. And it’s about f-ucking time I accepted my position and just got on with it.” I take a deep frustrated breath.

Jade moves in and wraps her arms around my neck, staring me resolutely in the eye. “You need to understand what it’s like for Maia. You chose to fall in love with Shana, lose your virginity to her. You may not be rich, but you were never short of love from your parents. And your life got f*cked up because of the people you chose to run with and the things, and women you chose to do. She was a kid, she never had any of that and she never had a choice. Why is it so hard for you to understand that she has trust issues?”

“I do understand, Jade,” I sigh, deflated, “I understand that we will always be very different people from very different places. She’s better without me. I’m gonna end up locked up eventually.”

“By your choice!” Jade is obviously getting angry, but her face softens as she looks up at me. “Please reconsider this shit with Emmanuel. Jackson, please.”

“It’s already done.” I answer flatly. “I already committed to it, you know how it works in these parts when you backpedal.”

Jade leaves my house frustrated at being unable to dissuade me from working my way towards prison with Emmanuel. I spend the next few hours clutching a pencil, trying to pen the poem I promised Maia so long ago. I succeed in creating a million paper snowballs, which lay crumpled across my bedroom floor. f-uck it! I think before flinging on my jeans and a t-shirt and deciding to drown my sorrows with alcohol.