Scared of Beautiful (Scared #1)(47)

“We did,” I smile.

“Did you like it?” he asks snaking an arm around my waist and pulling me in to him.

“I did,” I reply, “so maybe we could be friends, but with a few benefits.”

Jackson looks at me sadly and opens his mouth to reply, but decides against it. I’ve fooled myself into believing that this is the only way to keep Jackson near me without getting hurt. It’s na?ve to believe, stupid as shit, and an all around bad idea that encompasses me setting myself up for disaster and making him feel like I’m using him.

“Do you really think we can do that?” Jackson asks me doubtfully.

“No,” I laugh, before seriousness veils my face, “but right now it’s all I have.”

“Does this mean I have to watch that prep school * hit on you, since we’re friends?” Jackson asks, the memory causing his face to morph with irritation.

“Jackson, regardless of whether we’re friends or dating or whatever, it doesn’t give you the right to decide who I talk to. You don’t own me, remember?” I reply confidently, and I mean every last syllable. There is more meaning behind those words than he could ever realize.

Jackson decides to spend the rest of the night at his own dorm, and I sink into a peaceful sleep, one that is not assaulted by nightmares. In fact, I don’t dream at all. The smell of Jackson and Jackson and I lingers on my sheets, and I find myself considering laying in bed all day just to get lost in it. But I don’t.

I make my way over the Bean to grab a coffee before heading over to the Brown campus. It’s about time I actually started participating in college again, I think. Driving the X5 over to the campus, my thoughts briefly drift to my mother, and I realize that I have yet to call and check up on her and Megs. I know they have enough money, there’s no way they could have burnt through the amount I left in that account for them. Still, leaving cash at the bedside has always been my father’s style, not mine.





Chapter 26




Jackson

I consider grabbing coffee before my first class and then decide against it. Truthfully, I’m running really low on cash and I do need to pay the dorm fees. Sitting on my bed, I finger the small velvet box with the necklace I bought for Maia. If I sold it, I’d have a large chunk of my savings back and that would help. But that’s not an option. That pendant and chain will always belong to Maia, I’d rather starve than deny her it. I stash the box in its hiding place in my closet and make my way over to the Engineering building.

While walking, I pull out my phone and send a quick text. Morning friend, sleep well? My phone buzzes moments later. Okay, some * kept me up all night. Funny though, I wasn’t tired at all this morning… I laugh out loud as I read it. Maia is so much fun when she lets herself go. Is that right? I’ll let the “*” know to correct that problem next time. I hit send. My phone buzzes almost immediately, too soon to be Maia, and it isn’t. It’s Emmanuel. Hey man, hit me back, we need to talk. I hit delete; he doesn’t get the option of asking for my time. Maia calling flashes across my screen just then.

“Hey,” I answer cheerfully.

“Hi friend,” she replies, drawing out the title.

“So I hear your late night bedmate didn’t tire you out enough?” I feign sarcasm.

“Nah, didn’t even break a sweat,” Maia replies jovially.

“Good to know for next time,” I jibe.

“And what makes you think there will be a next time?” she replies cockily.

I laugh into the phone before replying. “I believe our relationship was reclassified to friends with benefits, in the plural, not benefit, as in singular. There will be a next time.” She laughs melodically in response. “I have class now,” I say reaching the Engineering building front steps. “Can we meet up later for a late lunch?”

“Sure,” she replies before hanging up.

At first I hated this whole friends thing, but if it continues this way, I think I could really get used to it. Seeing Maia so carefree is refreshing. Emmanuel calling flashes across my screen moments later. What the f-uck does he want? Whatever it is, it’s not good, and I’m not interested. So f-uck him, I think, before ignoring the phone and shoving it into my pocket. People like Emmanuel really suck the soul out of you. The better you try to do in life, the more they try to drag you into the same old shit. Not this time, *. I’ve somehow managed to keep myself from being locked up for the past four years. No way I’m risking prison time now.

Engineering is fascinating, if you give a shit about it on any one particular day. Today is just not that day. This cash thing is getting me down, and while the lecturer is droning on, I scroll through the classifieds on my laptop. Hell, I’m used to being broke, but like I said, I’m not going back to the same old shit this time. Nothing comes up, and before long it’s late afternoon and I make my way over to Maia’s apartment. With any luck, my friend and I will decide to order in and relax for the rest of the day. Flashbacks of last night fill my mind, and my dick hardens, reminiscing how it feels to be in Maia’s soft warmth again.

Arriving at the apartment, I see there’s a note stuck to the door. Meet me at the Bean. I walk over there and pull open the café door. Lo and behold, it’s f-ucking déjà vu, and déjà vu takes the form of pretty boy Blake. Thankfully this time there is distance between them, and the conversation seems less jovial. I know I promised Maia that I would back off on situations like this, but does this clown not remember me from yesterday? I’m pretty sure that I made my presence clear to him. The question is, did Maia?