Scared of Beautiful (Scared #1)(32)

A small, sweet voice answers her back. “Mommy says I have curly brown hair and that’s beautiful, but I think your hair’s pretty, even if it’s not curly.”

To my surprise, Daniella is sitting on Maia’s lap, twirling a piece of her hair in her small fingers. Despite the awkwardness that is about to ensue again, I smile at the sight. Maia looks up at me; her eyes connect with mine, and she smiles, too. Jade and Shana are standing against the counter just observing.

To my surprise, it’s Maia who breaks the silence. “You guys should probably talk.”

I presume she means Shana and I. Maia’s eyes betray her. She does her best to maintain a placid fa?ade as she looks towards Shana, but I sense something more. Envy? Jealousy? I respect that she regards Daniella with such affection, given that I can clearly see that she doesn’t care too much for Shana. Shana, on the other hand, has never been particularly skilled in the art of subtlety, and throws Maia a dangerous glare. One that screams ‘mind your own f-ucking business’. Who does Shana think she is? Did she miss the memo that she lost all rights to claim when she snuck out the back door?

“Jade, Daniella and I can hang out here.”

I nod, quick to turn towards the door. I get the distinct impression that my ex and my, well, current, need a few degrees of separation. As I do, I hear the screen door open.

This should be interesting. Folks, you know Shana, the ex who ran off pregnant and Jade, the three ways divided best friend, and now meet Maia the new girlfriend and little Daniella, the long lost grandchild. I rub my temples, the thought spinning in even my head. And I’m the reason they’re all here.

My mother walks into the kitchen and surveys the scene in front of her. My father walks in behind her and does the same. My parents are quite humble and peace-loving, so I presume they’re just thrilled that there isn’t a war in here. This time Daniella is the one who clears the awkwardness. She climbs off Maia’s lap and walks over to my parents.

“Mom says I’m meeting my grandparents. Are you them?” she asks.

My mother leans in to her and replies smiling, “I think we are.” Daniella lunges into her with a hug.

“I’m so excited,” she gushes. “I’ve never had grandparents before.”

Tears well in my mother’s eyes as Daniella detaches herself and then moves sideways to wrap her small arms around my father’s legs. The whole scene is heart warming. Clearly she doesn’t know that I’m her father, and I plan on keeping it that way until Shana and I speak. For whatever happened between us, I feel like I should still have some respect for her as Daniella’s mother. I just pray that after this weekend, Maia and I are in the same place we were when we left Providence.

Shana and I walk out onto the porch, leaving Jade, Maia, Daniella and my parents inside, getting ready to bake chocolate chip cookies. For a few minutes neither of us says anything.

“Jackson, I’m so sorry,” Shana says breaking the ice.

I try to be a hardass and stay mad, but I realize there’s no point. “I don’t need an apology,” I reply. “I’ve already grieved and gotten over what we had. I just want to know why. Didn’t you trust me? Didn’t I deserve to be involved? What, did you think I would make a shit father?”

“None of that is true, and you know it. You know my parents. You know what would have happened,” Shana answers, her eyes brimming with tears.

I’m slightly offended that she felt like she couldn’t be honest about what she wanted at the time. “We could have made it work. It’s too late for that now, but we could have. Did you really think you had better odds on your own in a strange city, pregnant and alone? What were you thinking? Cutting Jade and I off like that was stupid, not to mention cold.” I know I shouldn’t be so harsh, but right now harsh is all I got. I’m not gonna deny that seeing Shana stirs up a lot of bad feelings that I’d rather forget. “And not telling me about Daniella was a bitch move Shana, it really was.”

“I wasn’t thinking! I didn’t come here to fight,” she replies wiping her eyes. “I came here because I realized how much what I did hurt you and Jade, and like I said, I’m sorry.”

“Does she know I’m her father?” I ask looking out at the road.

“No,” Shana replies looking down. “But she doesn’t think anyone else is, either. I would never do that to you.”

I laugh sarcastically. “Never do that to me?”

Shana gets up to walk off. “This was a mistake,” she says dejectedly.

“Shana, wait.” I say, immediately regretting my last comment. She turns to face me. “You have to understand, for four years, my life was completely f*cked up because of what you did. I loved you. And I can’t catch up on four years of Daniella’s life, and you took that away from me. I’m allowed to be angry. But we need to make this right. Maia didn’t ask to be dragged into this f*cked up situation, either. So the sooner we resolve it, the better.”

Shana nods. “Maia seems nice,” she says, averting her eyes. “I’m glad you’re happy, you deserve it. Though she doesn’t really seem like your type.”

“She is,” I reply, “and I am. And I haven’t seen you in almost four years. How would you know my type? So what now?”

“First, we have to tell her,” Shana says. “The problem is, we live in California now. And you are at Brown.”