Scared of Beautiful (Scared #1)(15)
I knock twice, and just when I think that he may not be there after all, the door swings open, and there Jackson stands in all his godlike glory. I seem to have momentarily lost the ability to speak because he opens the door in a pair of grey sweatpants, sans shirt. His body is lean, but I could definitely do a week’s washing on the abs displayed before me. God damn!
“So, are you finally satisfied that nothing conjugal happened here this morning?” He leans against the door frame, crossing his arms across his chest. The tattoo that I noticed on his left tricep the first day we met is an intricately designed infinity symbol, with a phrase interwoven between the loops. He infuriates me when he’s so cocky!
“I’m never satisfied, haven’t you noticed?” I tease before strutting past him into the room. The satisfaction of knowing that Jackson isn’t, in fact, a lying sack of shit has given me this confidence that I really didn’t know I had.
“We’ll see,” he murmurs as he follows me in and closes the door.
I try to distract myself from shirtless Jackson by looking through the books on his desk, but before I get to the second one, his strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. He gently kisses the nape of my neck, and a burning heat races through my body. I turn to face him, leaning back onto the desk. “What makes you think my forgiveness entitles you to free run over my body?” I ask coyly.
“I didn’t say it did,” he answers. “Look,” he says twirling a lock of my hair between his fingers. “I like you, and I don’t know what Jade may have said to you, but I’m not the man-whore she thinks I am. So just say when, and I’ll be the perfect gentleman until then. No questions asked.” He reaches for my waist and pulls me into him. “Now, I’m not saying that it’s not going be hard as a motherf*cker, no pun intended, and if I see you every day, it may involve some really long cold showers.”
I lift myself onto the desk and pull him towards me. If I’m honest, I’m scared of what will happen next. Jackson makes me laugh, and I can’t help but feel comfortable when I’m with him. “Good girls don’t give up anything to someone they met four days ago,” I say, and as I do the cold realization hits me that I have only known Jackson for four days. Questions fly through my mind. Like if he can be trusted not to play around with my feelings, whether he really is interested in me or interested in getting into my pants. Or my wallet.
Jade’s words flash back in my mind, and an image of my ex-boyfriend, Bryce, assaults my consciousness. And before I have a choice in the matter, emotional walls fly up around everything that I’m feeling for Jackson. My body tenses, and I look up to see the confusion on his face as he notices me push him away.
Chapter 8
Jackson
There is no doubt that I would love nothing more than to have my way with Maia right here and now, but I meant what I said about genuinely liking her. The last thing I want to do is make myself out to be some sex-crazed player. So, as much as it’s probably gonna kill me that I had this girl alone in my room and didn’t pursue that angle, I lean back. That, and I notice that Maia’s body has visibly tensed in the last minute or so. The crazy, sexy girl that had her legs around my waist with nothing but clothing separating us has apparently disappeared and now the position we’re in is just awkward. “Something wrong?” I ask, lifting her chin to meet my eyes. She looks almost sad when she peers up at me.
“I…um…I…this is maybe just moving a little too fast.”
Her and I both know what she means. She’s not talking about the potential sex; it’s the fact that neither her nor I can seem to stay away from each other. Maia makes me feel alive again, which is some crazy shit to admit given that I’ve known her for such a short while and most of that time, she’s been, well, a bit of a bitch. The thought of her body this close to mine is driving me f-ucking insane. Truthfully I would gladly wait for Maia as long as she needed me to, although I seriously hope that’s not her intention. A few more episodes like this one and I’ll probably find myself staring at four white walls wearing a straitjacket.
She stares at me with those big brown eyes of hers and laces her fingers behind my neck. “I just mean that maybe we can try being friends, casual for a while,” she continues.
And that means, I’m not screwing you yet, but if you have any intentions of screwing me in the future, you won’t screw anyone else right now. In plain and simple guy language, that is.
“I’m fine with that,” I reply, realizing that even with the insane amount of testosterone flowing through my body right now, I genuinely am.
For the next few hours, we lay on my bed, me propped up against the wall with her head resting in my lap. A few times, I get nervous at the fact that my body’s reaction to her sheer hotness and the fact that she’s sprawled across my bed may cause my body to react and involuntarily concuss the poor girl, but I steer my mind to dead puppies and Unicef commercials before my thoughts have a chance to get away from me.
Maia tells me about growing up privileged, and from the way she talks, I gather that she all but hated it. She does smile when she talks about her grandparents and that fact that even though they were loaded, they were still very sweet. Her mother was a foster child, so she has no idea of her maternal grandparents. She briefly mentions that her father is some hotshot investment banker and that her mother is a housewife. Though the situation is intimate and the conversation is deep, Maia appears to skim over her past vaguely, not offering too much information on any one thing.