Scared of Beautiful (Scared #1)(17)

“Why not?” Jade asks, confused. I laugh; Jade thinks like a guy, always has. You like someone, you f-uck them, it’s simple. Although, that’s never made her a slut. She’s also very selective.

“Because I genuinely don’t want to f-uck this up, and it just seemed like Maia needed to know that sex is not the first thing on my mind. I actually like her,” I answer as we approach the counter. After ordering we sit at a table by the window, so Jade can ‘check out the scenery’.

I had decided on the way to picking Jade up that I would tell her I knew where Shana was. I really have no clue how she’ll react, but she does deserve to know. Shana was her best friend, and plus, I don’t like the idea that she would likely castrate me if she found out I lied to her.

“So you two are dating, like, high school dating?” she asks, pulling at her face.

“Guess so,” I say shrugging my shoulders.

“But you don’t date. You may have Maia fooled with your good guy act, but you and I have history. I know how much of a bad boy you’ve been since Shana left,” Jade looks concerned, and truthfully I think she’s worried about me hurting Maia. And she has a point.

When Shana left, I really stopped giving a shit about life in general, and there were so many things that I did, so many women that I did, one night stands, random club f*cks when I was high or wasted or both. Jade has every right to be concerned for Maia. The old Jackson woke up with a different chick in his bed every night, and most times they were nameless, and faceless. And heartbroken when I shuffled them out the side door without saying so much as ‘I’ll call you’. And I’m really not proud of any of it.

“I quit all that shit, Jade. Brown is a fresh start. I didn’t plan on meeting Maia, but I did. So please try not to count me out so soon?” I look at her, wondering whether or not she’s feeling obliged to tell Maia about my not so pleasant past.

“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me,” she smiles at me reassuringly, but in seconds her face darkens and she continues. “Maia clearly has her own shit to deal with, and if you hurt her, I swear you’ll be missing some of your vital organs.”

“Noted,” I nod, “but what shit does Maia have to deal with?” My curiosity piques as I realize that maybe Jade can shed some light on why Maia’s so guarded.

“Don’t know, to be honest,” she shrugs. “I know she gets checks for five grand every month from her father, and she just throws them into her drawer. Unopened. She has other money though, and she shops with me in thrift stores when I know she can afford better. I’ve met her mother once, and she seems a touch sensitive. She owns a BMW X5 but she walks and takes the bus everywhere. And Maia doesn’t talk about her past, not about her past boyfriends, friends, family, anything. It’s like her life started when she got to Brown.” I know what Jade means, and I got that feeling, too. Still, she did talk about her family last night, briefly. The more I get to know Maia, the more complex she becomes.

I take a breath and decide to bring up the Shana subject. May as well just say it. “So,” I start slowly, “I found Shana.”

Jade looks up, holding a butter-covered knife over her croissant and stares at me. “Oh,” she says and continues to butter the croissant haphazardly.

Jade was hurt when Shana left without so much as a goodbye. They’d been inseparable as friends, so as much as she wants to know everything that I know, she doesn’t want to ask, either. She’s clearly still mad. So I continue, saving her the mental torture. “A P.I. I hired found her. Not because I wanted her back, but because I needed closure to come here. Jade, he found her and a little girl.”

Jade’s knife falls to her plate with a resounding clank. “What?” Her jaw has dropped and she’s staring at me in disbelief. “Is she yours?” she asks.

“How should I know?” I answer. “She definitely looks the right age, but I don’t know. I didn’t call her. I have her number.”

“Give it to me,” Jade says pulling out her phone. Jade’s going to call her, there’s no reasoning with her about this. I can see the sheer determination in her face, but her eyes are clouded over with anger.

“Jade, it’s not a good idea, just leave her be. She doesn’t want to see us, either of us, or she would have called.”

“No!” Jade’s voice echoes through the Bean, and a few students turn in our direction. “Who the hell does she think she is, running off and having your child without so much as a ‘hello, just thought you may want to know’?”

I sigh. “Let it go, Jade.”

“No! I can’t, and neither should you. She owes you an explanation, at least!” I hold my phone facing Jade as she saves Shana’s number. She grabs her bag, leans down to slam a quick kiss onto my cheek and storms off.

I rub my temples in frustration. I knew that was a f-ucking bad idea. I look up to see Maia staring down at me.

“What’s up with Jade?” she asks concerned.

I shake my head twice. “Jade can be a bit melodramatic sometimes.” I decide against telling Maia why Jade is so mad. The last thing I need is to have two chicks walking out on breakfast this morning. “Thought you had a class?” I ask casually, taking the opportunity to change the subject as Maia sits down. Her hair falls over her right shoulder and her skinny jeans and tank top look as though they’re painted on. Nothing like a visual of early morning sex to brighten a man’s mood.