Scared of Beautiful (Scared #1)(11)
“Don’t you want to know why I’m leaving?” she asks me, pulling back.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say with a sad smile. “I’m just happy you are.” And I mean it, I really do.
I call her a cab to take her to Megs’ house and return to my room, kicking off my flats and collapsing onto my bed. The memory of my blissful evening with Jackson seems so distant now. Like a vivid and extremely hot dream that ended before I awoke to harsh reality. I don’t ever remember my father laying a hand on me; he saved his anger for my mother. Then again, it would be miraculous if he ever noticed that I was actually alive. The only time I was privy to slight displays of affection or kind words was the handful of times when it was necessary to maintain our social standing. At my cotillion, my graduation where I was named valedictorian of my class, and at that party afterwards where he present me with the keys to a BMW X5 with about a hundred of his colleagues, my friends and their country club parents watching. But such is the life of the rich upper class of Manhattan. I wasn’t different to my friends. Half their parents were having affairs, some mothers would even endure an occasional beating to save the peace in the house, and they all presented a public persona and hid their real lives behind very expensive closed doors.
I close my eyes and pray to God that I sleep soon, and pray even harder that some divine force will stave off the dreams that I know will haunt me. No matter which way you look at it, I’m f*cked up, and Jackson deserves better. I bet if he knew me and what getting involved with me really meant, he’d bolt in the opposite direction, immediately. I’m tired of being hurt. Simple solution, I’ll just have to stay the hell away from him until he finds a girl that deserves him. I’ll talk to him in the morning and tell him not to waste his time.
Chapter 6
Jackson
I can still taste Maia on my lips as I drive back to my dorm. The memory of her pressed against me at the Bean is ingrained in my mind. She acts like such a hard ass, but really, tonight she proved just how vulnerable she can be. I saw a side of her that was so honest, even if it was only for a fleeting moment. I arrive back at my own dorm and take a long cold shower, and sleep better than I have in years, since Maia is the last image in my mind before I close my eyes.
“Rise and shine!” A voice blasts into my dream, which included Maia, and was just about to get interesting. My roommate groans and pulls a pillow over his head. I squint my eyes to see Jade perched on the edge of my bed, stilettos in hand, wearing a dress that, well, leaves not a lot to the imagination.
“Did you just get back?” I ask her, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. The sun is streaming through my window, even though it’s only seven, according to my bedside clock.
“Yup!” She looks positively giddy about something or someone as she throws her shoes on the floor and stretches onto my bed, propping her head on her elbows.
“And I suppose you’re here to give me a ‘blow by blow’ rundown of the whole thing?” I ask with feigned exasperation.
“Just like old times,” she smiles. I listen to Jade talk for what seems like hours about her date, and in true Jade style, she doesn’t hold back, telling me about dessert and then dessert.
“Damn Jade, you were aware that this was your first date. You didn’t have to give it all up,” I tease.
“Pfft, look who’s talking? Says the guy who has had his hands down half the pants in Atlanta,” she says, rolling her eyes.
“Okay!” I laugh, throwing my hands up in mock surrender. “But that was then; I’m not into that mindless banging shit anymore. Things have changed since you left home; I have, anyway.”
“Really?” she asks dubiously, “because the last time I saw you stick with one girl was Shana.” Jade looks down as she says Shana’s name. I know she still thinks about her, misses her. They had been best friends since they were four, right up until Shana packed her shit and left, without so much as a goodbye to Jade. She plays it off, but I know the hurt is still raw.
I should tell her that I know where Shana is. She deserves to know, but as I open my mouth, she cuts me off.
“I nearly forgot to ask. How was your night? Did you hang out with Maia?”
At the mention of Maia’s name, the memory of last night comes flooding back. My lips curl up in a grin that I can’t seem to suppress, hard as I’m trying. “We went to the Bean, actually,” I say as blasé as I can manage.
“That’s great,” Jade replies. “You two will make awesome friends, she’s a good chick. A tad bit introverted at times, but otherwise she’s good people.”
Friends? The last thing that I want between Maia and I is friendship. The idea of not getting to know her better, and in time, finishing off what we started last night is a terrible prospect.
Jade creeps up and lies in the crook of my arm. My roommate Ben’s lifts his head from his pillow. “You two want some privacy?” he asks sleepily.
Jade and I simultaneously burst into laughter. “Nah man, it’s really not even like that,” I say. My shoulders are shaking so hard with laughter that I can barely get the words out. Jade can barely catch a breath. There is really no way that I think of Jade like that. And I am one thousand percent sure as f-uck that she has no desire to screw me at all.
As our riotous laughter begins to subside, I hear a knock on the door. “f-uck!” Ben grumbles and flings his legs out of his bed. “Clearly sleep is not an option anymore!” he complains, glaring at Jade and I. We both feign innocence as he walks over to the door. He yanks it open and I hear Maia’s voice.