Scared of Beautiful (Scared #1)(9)

She opens her eyes and leans into me, and before I can fully comprehend what’s happening, her lips are on mine. She tastes so incredibly sweet. Her hair brushes the side of my neck and the now familiar cinnamon and sandalwood scent is intoxicating. My hands grab her waist and I pull her into me as the kiss deepens. She moves a hand to my hip and though the kiss is soft and tender, there is something so urgently passionate about it that the heat it ignites threatens to rip a hole in my jeans. I break away with great difficulty to glance around and make sure that we’re still alone. Only because I know she’d care. Quite personally, whether it’s my raging hard on talking or not, I don’t give a f-uck who walks up the stairs. I lean back in and crash my lips into hers, forcing them further apart. Her back arches in response, and her fingers make their way under my shirt and knead at my back. I pull back gently, before the urge to rip every item of clothing off of her body completely consumes me. The thought has crossed my mind a few times in the last minute. And believe me; it takes every f-ucking ounce of self-restraint I have to pull away. But she’s known me for three days and I get the sense that she really isn’t that kind of girl. She holds my gaze for a few seconds before averting her eyes. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that behind the fiery lust I just saw there, she looks a little wounded.





Chapter 5




Maia

Driving back to Brown’s campus, Jackson and I barely speak to each other. But it’s not really an awkward silence; at least not for me, anymore. He has this way of making me feel completely comfortable around him. No one in my life has ever made me feel this at ease by just being there. Still, the negativity that is such a destructive part of my personality gnaws away at my peaceful disposition. The thoughts that I try in earnest to keep at bay threaten to surface. Questions like why Jade, who has known Jackson for the longest time, would tell me to stay away from him? Questions like whether or not there was something going on with the two of them Or had there ever been? Questions like why he pulled away at the Bean. And I don’t know the answer to a single one of them. The logical part of me says that he chose to get my number instead of using the easy out I gave him in the dare, and he chose to hang out after I absconded at the library. So the logical part of me tells me to stop overthinking this. Like I do with everything. And for the first time in my life, I wish I could stop using all of the defense mechanisms that I have in my repertoire. I wish I could just let go.

“You okay?” Jackson’s voice startles me out of the court case I have going on in my head. He places a hand over mine and squeezes it gently. I turn my hand upwards into his and run my fingers along the callouses on his palm. I love that looking at him, his face is model perfect, yet his hands show how hardworking he is. Such a pleasant change from the Upper East Side brats. But, I’m one of those aren’t I?

“Fine,” I reply as I meet his eyes. He holds my gaze for a second or two, until he realizes that to drive, one must watch the road, and refocuses his eyes forward. He could have called me out with bullshit for a lot of what I said tonight. I just skimmed the surface of what and who I really am, and where I actually come from.

Jackson slows the car in front of my dorm building. When he stops, he turns to face me with a wicked grin. “So, why do I get the feeling we’re about to have a Cinderella moment here? You race out of my car, leaving behind a glass slipper?”

“Why would you say that??” I ask teasingly. He traces a line up my arm and his finger leaves behind a deliciously warm trail.

“Well, because it seems the closer I get to you, the more I get the sense that you are holding back.” He leans forward and delivers a line of soft kisses to my neck, stopping just shy of my mouth. “And I’d rather you didn’t hold back,” he murmurs.

My head falls back as his kisses send heat radiating from my neck straight down to my thighs. Holy hell, this boy is definitely skilled! He pulls away, and my first instinct is to grab him by the collar and bring him right back again. His eyes meet mine as he continues. “But just so you know, I really think you may be worth the wait. I’ll walk you up.”

A thin stream of light was filtering from under my dorm door, which means Jade is back. I glance down at my watch for the first time tonight as we climb the last stair to my floor and baulk at the time. “Shit! Do you realize it’s two in the morning?” I say to Jackson.

“What can I say, time flies when you’re having fun,” he answers cockily. When we arrive at my door, he presses me against the wall and delivers one last and long goodbye kiss, before he walks off. My body screams at my brain to stop him. I unlock the door, unable to wipe the stupid grin off my face. Nothing on this planet can destroy my euphoric mood. Nothing at all.

Nothing, that is, until I walk into my room to find my mother sitting on my bed. I discard my bag on the chest of drawers and turn to face her. “What are you doing here?” I deadpan.

“I tried calling you,” she answers, rising to walk towards me. My mother is classically beautiful in an Audrey Hepburn kind of way. Her almost black hair falls just past her shoulder blades, and we have the same brown eyes. Although when I look at hers, I see that they are red rimmed and she’s made no attempt to remedy the bags under them. That’s unlike her. She wears her signature uniform, an expensive charcoal pants suit with bone-colored Christian Louboutins. As always, she represents the picture of a perfect society wife.