Royally Not Ready(99)

“Little to the left,” he says. “Yes, right there.”

I pause. “This isn’t a massage. These are my deadly weapons.” I chop at him again.

“Feels like a massage,” he says when he sets me back down.

“Oh yeah? But what about this?” I spin in place and try to chop him at the waist, but he stops my hand, so I go in for a right hook. He stops that as well and ties me up in a pretzel. “Uh-huh, I see you, but what about this?” I go for the good stuff, plowing a fist right to his crotch, but he lifts his knee, deflecting my hand. I spin again and attempt to body slam him into the wall, but instead, I bounce off his large body and land on my butt on the floor.

When I stand, I brush off my backside and nod.

“Quite the competitor. I tip my hat to you but—oh no, look out, a codfish.” I point to the side, and to my luck, he glances over as I roundhouse kick him, aiming for the stomach.

But the man has catlike reflexes, and before I can enjoy the feeling of my foot connecting with his abs, he grips my ankle in his large hand and then somehow drags me close and lifts me in the air so I’m hanging upside down in front of him, breathing heavily.

“This . . . uh, this is unexpected,” I say.

“Wow, Lilly, you sure learned a lot,” Keller says sarcastically. “I don’t think you’re going to need Lara.” He sets me down on the floor, and I quickly stand, adjusting my shirt. “You can clearly handle this all on your own.”

“You know . . .” I place my hands on my hips. “You’re incredibly sexy, but you can be a real wet blanket sometimes.”

Lara is in the corner, cackling, her hand over her mouth, probably entertained for a lifetime at this point.

“Glad to be of service, my queen.” He bows his head.

“You’re annoying.” I move past him and, in a sneak-attack move, try to punch him in the arm, but he grips my fist and spins my back into his chest. He wraps his arms around my waist and presses a kiss to my neck.

“You looked hot doing all of that.”

And like butter on a hot day, I melt. Damn him and his sensual voice.

“I have one more thing to show you.”

“Can’t wait.” He kisses my neck one more time and then releases me. “If it was anything like I just experienced, I know it’ll be great.”

“Oh, it will be. Lara, shall we?”

She’s wiping under her eyes where her tears of laughter are streaming, and she nods. “We shall.”

Together, we walk to the entryway and out the door, Keller following closely behind.

“Where are we going?” he asks.

“Keys.” I hold my hand out to Lara.

“Keys?” he asks, confused.

Lara places the keys to our ride in my hand, and I go over to the car and take a seat on the driver’s side.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Keller asks.

I turn the car on, roll down the window, and then, in my best Bruce Willis voice, I say, “Get the fuck in the car, we’re booking it out of here.”

“What the actual fuck?” Keller says as I roar the engine.

“Hurry up, they’re coming, and I’m leaving you behind if you don’t get in this car immediately.”

Lara gives him a push and I watch as Keller jogs over, his pecs bouncing under his shirt as he makes it to the passenger side and gets in.

“I suggest you buckle up.”

“Lilly, what are you doing?”

“And hang on, you’re about to get the ride of your life.”

He buckles up quickly as I put the car in reverse and press hard on the pedal, sending us backward.

“Jesus, fuck!” Keller yells as he holds on to—what I like to call—the oh my God handle of the car.

“Yippee,” I scream as I shift the steering wheel to the right, causing the car to do a complete one-eighty.

“Motherfucker, Lilly, what the hell are you doing?”

I put the car in drive and pound on the gas, shooting us forward again.

“Those bastards aren’t going to get us, not with me at the wheel.”

“No, you’re only going to kill us,” he says, gripping every handle he can as we bump along in the field. “Fuck, Lilly, slow down.”

“That’s exactly what they want us to do. Not on my watch.” I make a hard turn, forcing Keller to slam into his side of the car, his hands slapping the window, and then I gun it again, flinging him backward.

“Lilly, fucking stop.”

And then I scream at the top of my lungs, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” startling what I can only imagine is some pee right out of Keller. He clutches his chest as I yell, “They have guns. They’re shooting at us. Quick, grab your Glock. Take a shot.”

I toss him the fake gun and roll down his window. “Quick, give them the old pew-pew.” When he doesn’t do anything, I say, “Keller, they’re gaining on us. Shoot or be shot.”

“Fucking hell.” He sticks his hand out the window and pretends to shoot.

“Oh, fuck, they’re surrounding us. There’s only one thing to do,” I say as we come closer to the coastline.

“Uh, Lilly, if you say drive off the cliff, I’m going to fucking put my foot down.”