Royally Not Ready(96)
Glancing at me, he says, “It all feels too convenient. So, is this something you worked up with King Theo?”
“What?” I ask him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
He turns toward me now, hands sudsy. “I know Theo wishes you were king, that you could take his place, but we all know that can’t happen. Unless . . .”
“What the fuck are you alluding to?” I growl at him.
“She’s already lost a lot, and she’s a flight risk. She might think this is all fun and games now, but until she steps foot in that palace and goes day to day with the schedule thrust upon her, she has no fucking clue what this is going to be like. If you jump in, make her fall for you for ulterior motives—”
I have my hand wrapped around his collar and him pinned against the sink before he can finish that sentence. “If you ever accuse me of such treachery again, I’ll have your fucking head, do you understand me?” I seethe. “My love for this country and for Lilly are two separate things. I’ll do anything for Torskethorpe and its traditions. I’m a servant, not a noble. I’m well aware of the difference and that I have no place belonging in the latter. As for Lilly, my feelings for her have nothing to do with her title and everything to do with the person she is. Trust me when I say, the last thing I ever wanted was to get involved with her, given who she is. I’ve battled nightly over that decision, so don’t presume I thought with my dick because that’s never been the case.” I push him away from me and toss the towel on the counter.
He can do the goddamn dishes on his own.
When I start to walk away, I pause and turn back around. When our eyes meet, I ask him, “When did you start questioning my loyalty to this country?”
“Your loyalty to Torskethorpe has never been in question,” Brimar says. “Your intentions have been.”
“You should know me better than that, Brimar.”
“You’re right, I should.” And without another word, he turns to the sink, washing the same dish he was washing moments ago, as if he didn’t just question our entire friendship.
Chapter Nineteen
LILLY
“What are you carving?” Lara asks from across the living room, where she’s finishing up embroidering a table runner that I begged her to give me when she’s done.
“Something special for Keller,” I answer.
“Not to be rude, but it looks like a boob.”
I hold up my carving and smile. “It is. With a very hard nipple.”
Lara laughs. “Why are you carving him a boob?”
“Well, for one, it’s pocket-sized, so in case he ever needs to cop a feel, he can just reach into his pocket.”
Lara laughs some more.
“And secondly, he’s been in a weird mood today, and I thought that making this would cheer him up. A pocket boob.”
“I know it would cheer Brimar up,” Lara says, and then she moves closer to me, taking a seat on the couch. “Brimar said they got in a fight last night. He wouldn’t tell me what about, though.”
“Keller wouldn’t talk to me either.” Although, we didn’t do much talking last night, if you know what I mean.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much tension between them.”
“Do you know why they might be at each other?” I ask as I press my thumb against the blade to carve around the very prominent nipple I’ve created. I plan on making a hole through it and putting one of my spare nipple rings through the hole. I know when I reach Strombly, I probably won’t be able to do something like this, given how I need to be composed, which is why I want to do it now.
“I’m not sure. I know the stress is high for both of them. They never want to let King Theo down, so that might be a part of it.”
“Do they think I’m going to fail?” I ask, insecurity crawling up the back of my neck.
“No.” She shakes her head. “I don’t think that’s the case at all.” She looks to the side and says, “I don’t want you to feel bad about what I’m going to say, okay? But I think it has something to do with Keller’s involvement with you.”
“As in . . . us coupling?”
“Yes,” she answers. “I think Brimar is worried that Keller might scare you away, you know, if something ever happens between the two of you.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I say. “I know it’s easy for me to say because I’m the one feeling it, but what I have with Keller is so far removed from the crown, it’s more on a primitive level. Just me and him, nothing else.”
“I can understand that. When Brimar and I first started dating, I knew Keller had reservations about it, especially since we’re on the same security team. We never want anything interfering with the job.”
“Ah, I see what you mean,” I say. “Because the job always comes first.”
“Unfortunately, it does, for everyone involved.” She grows even more serious when she says, “Something you need to remember when you step foot in Strombly—it has a rich history of sovereigns who’ve always put the crown ahead of everything else. I know King Theo has reservations about doing so. He blames his responsibilities and his tunnel vision when it comes to the country on his inability to have raised his children to appreciate the roles they were born into, to have the same loyalty that someone like Keller has, who would do anything in his power to serve the country. So, even though you need to go into this knowing, no matter what, the crown always comes first, I think you need to remember there’s life outside of the crown, and if you don’t nurture it, everything can tumble to the ground.”