Rome (Marked Men, #3)(48)

“Please, Cora.” His voice was husky and so sad. “You are so much better for me than a bottle of vodka every night. I can’t be perfect for you, but I can be someone you rely on, someone you want to keep around even though it isn’t always going to be easy.”

I put my hands on his broad shoulders and barked out a laugh. I laughed so hard I had to rest my forehead against his throat to catch my breath. I could feel his confusion in the way he tensed up and set me back down. I pulled away from him and crossed my arms over my chest. He would never know how much those simple words meant to me.

“I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and his mouth sagged open in a way that would have been comical had the situation not been so serious.

“I took an over-the-counter test last night, and it was as positive as positive could get.”

“You … I … we …” He trailed off and looked like he might pass out. “For real?”

“For real.”

“Are you okay?” His gaze swept over me from head to toe like he was looking for some sign of change in me already.

“I’m fine. Look, I know this is a lot to take in. I don’t expect anything from you, but if you’re looking for a really good reason to pull it together, I think you have one now.”

“What do you mean you don’t expect anything from me?”

I sighed. “Look, Rome, we hung out for less than a month. We were never really friends, then we became lovers and now soon-to-be parents. That’s a lot for anybody to try and handle. I care about you and I really do think you’re an amazing guy, but I’m not going to risk this baby or my heart on someone that isn’t all in with me. I’ve been there and done that and seriously I wish I could give the T-shirt back.”

“Give me a chance, Half-Pint, I’m all in.”

I could see it there, dazzling and bright in the blue that was as sharp as a razor blade. He believed it, wanted it, I just didn’t know that I could trust him to follow through on it and not leave me hanging again.

“The drinking …”

He shook his head. “Done. I’m all over it. It doesn’t do me any good and Brite won’t let me hang at the bar if I’m loaded. He’s been in and out over the last few weeks and finally told me that if I didn’t get my act together, I was done. I was already feeling like I let you down. I couldn’t stand the idea of disappointing him on top of that, which is why I finally called his friend for help.” He made a face that resembled a grimace of pain. “There’s a good chance I’m gonna be struggling with the aftereffects of PTSD for a long time. I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and be all shiny, polished, and perfect, but I can get better. The difference is I didn’t really have the motivation to head in that direction until I lost it and couldn’t face you. I don’t want you to be part of my nightmares, Cora, but I’m selfish enough to ask you to want to be.”

He was saying all the right things, he was putting more of himself on the line for me than Jimmy ever had, and I was selfish enough to want to believe that what he was saying was real. I didn’t really want to let him go just yet, but I had to make sure he understood the rules moving forward.

“Nightmares are just bad dreams. If you want me to be part of your dreams, there isn’t a better place I could think to be. Rome, I’m more than willing to stick this out with you, but this baby is bigger than both of us. You can’t just walk away when you’re freaked out or because something from the past is standing between us. You have to let me in, you have to stick around so we can work through it together. I’m not flawless either, Captain No-Fun, but I kinda think together we might get close to something spectacular, if we want it bad enough.”

I squealed in surprise when he picked me up and crushed me to his chest. I didn’t think I was ever going to get tired of the solid way he felt pressed against me. He pressed a hard kiss to my mouth, and I put my hands on either side of his face to hold him there. I missed him, missed this, but I didn’t have any delusion that this was the last of the bumps in the road we were probably going to have to face if we managed to stay together. It took a special kind of man to stick around when the reality of fatherhood was looking him right in the eye. We didn’t know each other well enough to know if this was going to be it for us, but he affected me enough, moved me in ways I was continually surprised by, that I liked to think with some work he very well could be my new dream, that he could indeed fit what my new idea of perfect might be.

When he set me back on my feet, I laughed a little and moved my hands from his face to his shoulders.

“We might need to slow things down between us a little bit. We’re going to be moving full steam ahead, and while there is no question that we are sexually compatible, we should probably figure out if we can stand to be around each other for the long haul.”

He dropped his head so that his forehead was resting against mine. “All right.”

I tapped him on the chin with my index finger. “And you need to make nice with Rule. Family is important and he’s going to be this kid’s uncle. Plus Shaw is going to drive everyone nuts trying to fix things if you can’t patch it all up on your own. Same goes for your folks.” I would never squander family away, and he was just going to have to reconcile that fact if this was going to work.