Rome (Marked Men, #3)(47)

“We told you to leave her alone. Could you listen? No! Like always you know better than everyone else, and now look! She’s been upset for the last two weeks, being meaner than normal, and now she’s so upset you made her sick.”

Rule poked Rome so hard that this time the older Archer took a step back. None of them noticed me just yet, and I wasn’t sure the best way to interrupt without making a bigger mess of things.

Nash shook his head and pulled Rule back a step. “I told you to leave it alone, dude.”

Rome cast those azure-blue eyes toward the floor and what little color was left in his face fled. He looked like he hadn’t slept in a month; his pallor was awful, the turn of his mouth harsh and concerning. All I wanted to do was give him a hug and tell him everything would be all right.

“You don’t understand.”

“No, I don’t. You threatened to kick my ass all over the place if I was messing with Shaw. Well, you’re doing exactly that to Cora and it’s f*cked up.”

Rome sucked in a breath and released it. I thought for a second he was going to turn around and leave, but just then he looked up and his eyes locked on mine. He blinked, once and then once again, and I could have sworn I saw some kind of shadow lift and clear, letting the dazzling sapphire light shine through.

“Rule, I’m not messing with anyone. Like I said, you just don’t get it, but I don’t owe you an explanation. Cora, however, I owe way more than that.”

Rule swore again and Nash had to literally hold him in check. “You owe everyone an explanation, Rome. This shit is tired and needs to stop. You can’t just keep hurting everyone because you’re unhappy.”

Blue eyes clashed with blue eyes and I saw the fire light up in Rome. It was about to get real.

“You mean like you always did? Funny how you can be so sanctimonious now that you settled down with Shaw. Not too long ago she had to drag your hungover, booze-soaked, philandering carcass to Mom and Dad’s because you had hurt feelings. Get out of my face, Rule. I don’t owe you shit.”

Okay, there was going to be a full-on Archer brawl if I didn’t stop this now.

“Rome.” They finally turned their full attention to me. “What are you doing here?”

He looked unsure of how to answer, so I made my way to where the guys were standing and inserted myself in between them. I could feel the hostility blazing off of Rule and the remorse bleeding off of Rome. I didn’t want to drown or get sucked into any of it.

“Uh … I was hoping I could talk to you real fast before you started work.”

I sighed. “Well, I wanted to talk to you all last week and you ignored me.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too, because now I don’t know that I want to hear what you have to say. I’m not that hard to find, big guy.”

He sighed. “I know.”

We stared at each other for a long and silent moment until he finally dropped his eyes back to the floor. I felt Rule shift behind me and figured I better split the two of them up before I had to clean blood off the floor. I grabbed Rome by the arm and pulled him out the front door to the sidewalk in front of the shop. Rule shouted something ugly out the door after us, and I felt Rome tense.

“Stop it. One battle at a time.”

He threw his hands up in the air in front of him. “That’s the problem, Cora. I’m so tired of fighting.”

His eyes were burning so hot I felt like they were going to leave holes right through me.

“I’m fighting with my folks. I’m fighting with Rule. I’m fighting my vices. I’m fighting my fear of the future. I’m fighting my own goddamn head, and I’m just tired. I’m retired. I was supposed to be leaving all the fighting in the desert.”

I wanted to comfort him, to tell him I understood, but there were bigger stakes here than just me and him.

“So what are you going to do about it?”

That was the key. He could keep fighting, keep battling everything alone until he just wore himself into a husk of a man, into a shadow of the person he once was, or he could ask for help. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until he finally answered me.

“I got the name of a guy from Brite. He’s a retired shrink and a vet. He only takes guys on referral. I went to talk to him yesterday. He was a really nice guy.”

I let out the breath and felt my heart rate settle into something less chaotic.

“I spent the entire hour and a half we talked telling him about you. About how shitty I felt for bailing on you, how I thought something really awesome was starting between us, and how I blew it all to hell by being a *.”

He looked at me and I felt my heart turn over in my chest. The pleading in his gaze, the clear, naked longing for me to understand just a little part of what he was dealing with, really touched me. All I really wanted from a partner was honesty, and it didn’t get more honest than this.

“I don’t ever want anyone to see me like that, Cora. It rips me apart to live that shit over and over again, and nothing, not even really great things, like you and me, makes it stop. It’s embarrassing to be that exposed to someone else. I’m so sorry I didn’t handle it the right way.”

“Rome.” I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say, but I didn’t get the chance to anyway because he grabbed me by my upper arms and pulled me up on my toes so that we were eye to eye.