Rising (Blue Phoenix, #4)(12)

Dan stands and approaches me at the sink. I gauge his body language, no anger but some tension. I mentally calculate how I need to behave to lessen the chances of a meltdown.

“I know this means a lot to you, angel, and that’s why I let you join in. But you do know this won’t last forever? If this interferes too much with us - your life here - you’ll have to give it up.”

I grip the sink, cool metal biting my palms. “I know. Like you said if Ruby Riot is no good, things won’t go anywhere so you don’t need to worry.”

“Where’s the gig?”

“Oxford.”

Dan’s forehead creases. “Oxford? What the f-uck? When?”

“Friday night.”

“I hope you haven’t said yes!” he growls and pulls his phone from his pocket. “I might be busy.”

“You don’t need to come…” The mistake in those words is apparent when he stiffens.

“You saying you don’t want me there?”

“No, I meant if you were too busy.”

The switch has flicked and even though the calm is on his face, it’s not in the air around. “You don’t want me there.”

“No, Dan, I do, it’s just…”

The darkness sweeps across his face. All it ever takes is one wrong word. Half the time I don’t know which words will be wrong, so I don’t speak. I wince as he grabs my hair. “Which band member are you f-ucking?”

“Dan, no, I’m not. There’s only you.” His grip tightens and my eyes water. “I wouldn’t.”

“You know you’re mine, right?” He hisses into my ear. “You know without me you’re nothing.” His fingers dig into my arm.

Nothing. Always nothing.

My uncle smacks me across the head and I see the stars that come with the pain. I don’t know what I did wrong. I want my brother to come home but I don’t know where he went.

“You’re f-ucking useless! Even you mother hated you enough to f-uck off and leave you!”

I reach for the stars spinning in front of my eyes and focus on them as the pain hits my back. He’s careful not to touch my face.

If my brother doesn’t come back, I don’t know what I’ll do

“I know, Dan. I’m sorry. I do want you there. I always want you with me.” The lines are so rehearsed now I’m sure one day he’ll realise I’m lying. I think he already does.

I remain trapped in the space with Dan, focusing on breathing and willing him to calm down. Tonight he called me angel. Dan only calls me that when he’s had a good day. I don’t dare meet his eyes, yielding is my best option.

Dan’s grip loosens and he drops my arm to pull out his phone. I hold my breath, waiting for a response and hoping to hell that’s the end of the fight. “Looks like I’m free Friday. We can go.” His voice is light, anger blown away.

Tonight I stay away from the stars.



****



I drop by the boys’ house the next day on the way to work. An exhausted looking Nate lets me in then sinks back onto the sofa. Looks like they had a typical hard night boozing. The small house is littered with bottles and rubbish, the normally dirty carpet now filthy. I walk into the kitchen, where Will rests against the counter eating a bacon sandwich. He’s shirtless, the beginnings of his latest tattoo, a huge red and black dragon, outlined on his chest. He rubs his bleary eyes as he notices me.

“I came to see Jax; is he around?” I ask.

“In bed still.” I turn and head to the stairs. “Not on his own.”

“Right.” I stomp upstairs.

“No, Ruby! Wait!” calls Will after me through his mouth of food.

I hammer on his door. “Jax! I need to see you.”

No response.

I bang again, maintaining a rhythm until he swears loudly. I hear a low voice of a girl too. Of course.

“Can’t this wait until later?” he calls.

“No! I need something from you.”

The door flies open and Jax stands in his boxers, tousled hair, and toned physique. This guy never looks like shit, even after what was probably a very late finish. “What?”

I resist the urge to look around him to see who his latest conquest is. “I need some cash.”

His eyebrows tug together. “Why?”

“Dan took mine again,” I say in a low voice.

“Shit, Ruby. When are you going to end this?”

“Gonna get me some or not?” I demand.

“Key.” He holds out a hand, palm upward and I pull out my purse. Inside is the small silver key I keep hidden at home. I place it in his hand. “I don’t want her to see.” I indicate the girl behind.

“Oh, sure, so I kick her out of bed and say what? She’s gonna think I cheated on you.”

“Like you give a shit. C’mon, I’m at work in half an hour.”

Jax goes back into the room and I rest against the wood-chipped wall at the top of the stairs. There are raised voices and a few minutes later a blonde girl storms out in crumpled ‘last night’s clothes’ and holding her shoes. She tries a withering look on me but my own expression is enough to stop her saying anything.

“Well that saves an awkward goodbye,” Jax mutters, appearing in his jeans, holding a black tin.