Revolution (Collide, #4)(30)

Cain



I opened Sherry's door to the Jeep like a true gentleman. She climbed in, a little sulky and pouty. It was pretty cute. I got in my side and cranked the air conditioning. "Wow, it feels weird to be going on a run. Especially with you, no offense."

"None taken," she said lightly. "Everyone underestimates my size and assumes I have nothing to offer. That's why I'm so good to go on these runs." She turned to look at me. "I didn't mean you, I just meant….in general."

I chuckled. "It's ok. And point to you, well played."

She tried to smile, but it was a horrible imitation. I knew what was eating her. It was eating me, too. Leaving the spousal units behind. I felt my brow come down to reach my eyes. What if she knew about the crush I used to have and feels uncomfortable? I glanced at her. She looked normal enough, but would Sherry have the guts to call me on it? But there wasn't anything to call on anymore.

That was history of the best kind; the kind that was rewritten with something even better.

So I'd stop worrying about it like a sissy and get down to business. "Now," I started, "we play the usual bit. We're married with three kids, getting some groceries, a little peroxide, a random package of rectangle size bandages, maybe a blow up mattress or two. What do ya think?"

"It's brilliant, Cainy boy." She tried that smile again that hung all wrong.

"What's the matter, huh? Don't want to be seen with me?"

"I know we have to do this, but we're not going to get enough to feed everyone. You know that right? Next week, we'll be right back in the same boat."

"We'll do what has to be done," I said sternly. "We survive, we fight back. What else is there anymore?"

She nodded and took a curl between her fingers, her eyes distant, but focused. Some Coldplay song came on the CD player from my mix tape and she jumped forward to turn the radio up. She smiled, a real one, and her fingers moved on her lap a little like piano keys were playing underneath them.

"You miss it, huh?"

She looked at me and then at her hands. Her smile grew. "Yep. I miss it very much. But not as much as you miss a real meal, I bet."

"Oh, good Lord, don't get me started." I felt my stomach on instinct and wasn't impressed with the bones there." We're all skin and bones," I mused.

She lifted her arm and grimaced. "Mmm," she muttered unsatisfied. "I'm not worried about me so much, or you for that matter, no offense. But the kids…we all look pretty ragged, but the kids are scrawny."

She wasn't wrong. And Calvin and Frank were so active, always running around, they never kept weight on when we were eating good, and now…

"Lights will guide you home. And ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you," she softly said the words. She leaned her head back on the seat and I focused on the road.

I wasn't exactly sure how I was supposed to act around her now. She and I had always been connected in a way that was different than other girls. I thought it was love before, and it was, just a different kind of love. I bit on my lip ring and smoothed a hand down my shaved chin. None of us had been shaving since supplies were so low, but to go into the Need Warehouses, I had to look presentable.

It felt so good to not feel like a wildebeest anymore.

She kept on humming and leaned over the small console to lay her head on my shoulder. She looped her arm through mine. She glanced up and grinned at me playfully. She rubbed my chin with her knuckles. "You look so much better when you're not sporting a food catcher."

"Food catcher… Oh. Ha, ha." I smiled and remembered Lillian's grin at finally seeing my face again this morning. I rubbed my phantom beard before patting her knee. "You're hilarious."

"I am pretty hilarious," she joked and put her head back on my shoulder. "I've missed you, Cainy boy."

I smiled that her calling me that no longer sent me into orbit. "Cainy boy," I mused. "You know you are the only person I ever-"

"Let call you Cainy boy. I know. I like it that way," she laughed her words. "Just like no one can call Merrick Finch, but me."

"Finch?"

"Long story."

"We've got a long ride," I coaxed.

She sat up grinning. "Ok. Well, he proposed and we were trying to find a last name since he didn't have one to give me…"

I listened as she talked about my best friend. Her eyes glistened when she told me about Pastor and marrying Merrick in that little church. I listened. And I was truly happy for her.

"What a waste," I muttered as we passed the Taco Shell. They weren't serving tacos anymore. Now it was just dust.

"Yeah, a waste." She laughed. "I would just about maim and murder someone for a taco right about now."

"And I'd be there right beside you, a willing accomplice."

"Accomplice doesn't suit you, Cain."

"Usually not," I agreed. "But today, I'm your accomplice and you're mine, little one."

She chuckled at my jab and poked me in the ribs. "Shut up, husband."

"That's a good little wife," I said, miraculously with a straight face. Before she could respond, I slammed on the brakes.