Revolution (Collide, #4)(28)

"You've said that," Simon barked.

"And for two, we knew you or someone else would try to think of a way to go instead."

"Ok, well, Simon? They're right. Keepers couldn't get two feet inside a store before a Lighter sensed you. They are everywhere now. And -"

"Wait. Wait, wait!" Ellie yelled and smiled at us like we were all idiots. "I can go. They can't sense me."

"But we need you here to keep the ones looking for us away from the Specials and Keepers. They would be able to sense us if they were close enough."

"Oh," she said in deflation. "Well what about Cain? He's a Special?"

"Cain's never been detected by them before," Ryan explained and smiled a little at her across the room. "That's why…Cain and Sherry going is a good idea," he eased and then looked at Merrick, waiting for his reaction.

I smiled at Ryan, but let my smile slip away when Merrick turned his gaze to me. My old Merrick, the one from the beginning where he was constantly worried about my safety and threw fits over it, was in full swing. But he was trying to rein it in. I inched toward him and put a hand on his chest. "This isn't me trying to be all rebelliony like before." His lips twisted. "This is me doing what needs to be done for everyone to survive. You know there's no one else who can go who has the best chance to-"

He put his hands up to my cheeks, effectively stopping all my thoughts and words. He leaned his forehead to mine. "You'll be the death of me," he murmured.

I smiled. "Thank you."

"Thank him for what?" Rylee asked and huffed. "For letting you go?"

"Shut it, Rylee," someone said.

I leaned back to see him. "Cain will take care of me."

I know that. Once again, you just don't understand how hard it is to just let you go and hope for the best. Things are worse than ever now.

"I know. Thank you for understanding that you can't be selfish with me." I laughed at his scowl. "You are being a very good Keeper right now."

"Yeah. And a horrible husband," he whispered against my forehead.

I didn't say anything else. I tried to take my victory with grace.

"So we're going," Cain said and clapped once. "Awesome. Let's go a.s.a.p. because if I have to throwback one more meal of beans, I'm gonna go ape crap."

Calvin laughed and then stopped when no one joined him. Simon, the ever annoying Keeper lately, had to say something. "Take this seriously, Cain."

"I'm dead serious, Simon." He held up two fingers. "Two things I'm always serious about. Missions and food."

"Cain," he said in exasperation.

"I got this," he rebutted harder. "Stop worrying so much." He looked at me. "It'll be best if we leave first thing in the morning."

I nodded. Lillian, who was behind him the whole time, grabbed his hand and looked at me. There was some silent message there that I didn't get, but I nodded anyway. I would watch Cain's back like he watched mine.



That night when everyone was asleep, I lay awake and tried not to think about the morning. Merrick didn't understand when it came to this part of me. He thought I was trying to be stubborn, but it was more than that. I didn't want to go, I just felt like I needed to.

Sleep refused me, so I started singing really low. The lack of radio or piano was wearing on me. Gavin Degraw seemed upbeat, but melancholy enough to fit my mood. "We got two tickets, but they're one way. And I went with it so I can't say, no. I lit a fuse I can't stop. I opened doors I can't lock. Still I never meant to be this close, and let it slip away. I keep stumbling until I finally missed the last train. She's ready, I'm not ready. I run every time."

"Who's that?" Merrick whispered. "His logic is sound."

I laughed. "You're such a goofball." I rubbed his scruff. "Everything will be ok."

"Mmhmm," he muttered. "It better be. Or this world will have to deal with me." He leaned over me in our small tented space. "Be careful. Be smart. Be quick. Don't recruit anyone. We have enough mouths to feed."

"I know. I promise, in and out quickly, just what we need and nothing else." He sighed and laid his head on my chest. His fingers caressed my ribs and I wiggled under him. "Lily is with Danny and Celeste tonight," I whispered and ran my hand through his hair. "I can be very quiet."

He kissed my chest through my shirt and looked up at me. "I just want to hold you. Is that all right?"

I nodded and continued to rub his head and shoulders as he laid his head back down. My poor Merrick was going to worry himself into an ulcer. I knew he would be like this until I came back.

So I vowed to come back soon and in one piece.



Duct Tape



Chapter 12


Merrick



"You've got your food packed, right? And the credit cards? I'm not sure if they'll still work or not. You might have to try a few of them for gas or whatever-"

"We've got it," Sherry assured me and rubbed my chest. "We've got everything we need."

I did this half growl half groan thing. I knew I was stalling, but I just couldn't seem to stop. Cain and Lillian were trying to be discreet in their goodbye. She was wiping her eyes even as he kissed her teary cheeks and hugged her. I rubbed my face. I needed to stop being such a pansy.