Repeat(69)

I fall back on my ass, I’m so startled. “Shannon. Hey.”

“You all right?”

“Yeah.” I shake my head, trying to clear it. “Just got paid a visit by our neighbor, who was particularly rapey tonight.”

“What?” Her brows rise. She wanders closer, hands behind her, tucked into her back jeans pocket or something. At least she had the sense to get dressed to come out here.

“Ugh. It’s nothing. But if you ever meet a guy named Tim, avoid him.”

“Will do.”

“What are you doing awake?” I ask, continuing to give Gordy pats.

“I could ask you the same thing. Leif is out, but . . . I don’t know . . . just couldn’t sleep.” She smiles. “Did you have a good time tonight? That was really great of Ed getting everyone together. Even Tessa seemed to be in a good mood.”

“It was wonderful of him, and Tessa’s not so bad. She’s more bark than bite.”

“Hmm.” Shannon does not look convinced. “Well, I think it’s very brave of you, not freaking out your boyfriend working with his ex in such close quarters. Not sure I’d be as understanding if it was Leif.”

I pause.

“Can’t be easy when the woman looks like a Victoria’s Secret model. No one would blame you for having your doubts. Especially since her and Nevin seem to be having some issues lately.” She tucks her hair behind an ear. “I shouldn’t be saying anything, but—”

“No. I trust Ed.”

For a moment, she just watches me, face blank. “You told me, last time.”

“What?”

“About Ed and Tessa. How you knew. What you’d found.”

What I’d found. With those three little words, my heart stops. And suddenly, everything feels wrong somehow. Me. Shannon. Gordy. The silent street. The laughably weak streetlight. Terribly, unutterably wrong. And the strangest certainty comes over me that Shannon didn’t just wander out here on a whim. She pulled on those jeans, and laced up those boots, and came out here deliberately. To tell me this.

I rise to my feet, dusting off my behind, taking a step back. Trying to act calm and casual. “I told you?”

“I didn’t want to say anything, seeing you seem so happy. But I figured you had a right to know.”

“No.”

“What?” She seems surprised at the firmness in my voice. Maybe I surprised myself.

“No, I don’t want to know.”

“How can you not want to know?” She frowns, her face shrouded in shadow. “You found Tessa’s—”

“Because I trust him,” I snap, refusing to hear her words. To fall into the trap of jealousy. “And because I’m not going to repeat the worst mistake of my life all over again. No way. No fucking way.”

For a moment she studies my face. Then she nods slowly. “Okay. If that’s your final decision.”

“It is.” Relief floods through me, and for a moment I’m glad that Shannon came out to speak to me at this ridiculous hour. Glad? Hell, I’m almost elated. Because I feel like I finally got the opportunity to put that past disaster to bed. To rise above it. “We, ah, we should get back inside. Ed will be wondering where I got to.”

There’s the sound of Gordon growling and that’s it. She moves so fast. There’s only pain. So much exquisite terrible pain. I gasp, grabbing hold of her arm for balance more than anything. Unable to withdraw the knife from my gut, she shoves me back instead. Now Gordon is snarling. Shannon kicks out at him, again and again. I guess one of her kicks land because he whines and retreats.

“Fucking mutt,” she hisses, putting her hand to her foot. I guess Gordy got a bite in. What a good dog.

“You.”

“Of course it’s me.” She rolls her eyes, actually looking to heaven. It’s kind of insulting. Her pretty mouth is skewed in an ugly manner. “You’re so fucking stupid. You could never deserve him.”

It’s about Ed. Of course it’s about Ed. Jesus fucking Christ, my love life.

So I lie on the ground, just trying to breathe, to stay alive. All of my torso is warm and wet, blood soaking into my pajamas. My hands cover the knife’s handle, too scared to move. Actually, I feel cold. Distinctly chilled. Maybe I’m going into shock. That would make sense. Wonder how much blood you have to lose before you pass out?

If Gordy was pissed before, now he’s full on rampaging. Loud barking fills the air, echoing off the apartment buildings, reverberating down the street. The very good dog is outraged and in a frenzy.

Standing over me, Shannon glares at him. It’s like she’s a complete stranger with the manic light in her eyes and twisted expression. Above her the branches of the dogwood stretch out, covered in pretty blossoms. Then there’s the dark night sky, the stars, and the moon. A car glides by, but we’re in the shadows. Hidden in plain sight. In fact, there’s a whole city, a whole universe all around us going about its business. And I have the worst feeling I’m going to die here.

“Give me that,” she says, reaching for the knife.

“Don’t you fucking touch my dog.”

“Shut up, you useless bitch.”

“No.”

For all my bravado, there’s only so much you can do with a knife sticking out of your belly. I kick at her, slap at her hands. All of the movement jostles the blade and pain shoots through me. Then her foot connects with my side again and again. Something cracks. A rib, maybe. Pretty sure she put on steel cap boots for the occasion. The woman plans ahead. The knife is ripped out with all the delicacy it was first inserted. So none. All the while, Gordy growls and barks.