Repeat(43)

His small smile seems almost uncomfortable. A little grieved, perhaps. “Why do you think you’re here in my apartment? In my bed wearing my shirt?”

“Well, I kind of just took the shirt without asking. As for the rest, because you were worried about my safety and then Leif annoyed you by flirting with me?” I suggest. “Though nothing would have happened if we’d shared the futon. Things are complicated enough and while he seems like a nice guy, there’s nothing there.”

“No?” He licks his top lip and everything low inside me squeezes tight. An enjoyable sensation. And not a particularly new one when it comes to him. The man is beautiful, inside and out. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“Mm.”

“But you’re back in my life for a reason, Clem. Because on one level or another, I want you here. It’d be stupid of me to pretend otherwise.” The warmth in his voice is dizzying. The closeness of him intoxicating. Perhaps my reaction to him is part Pavlovian. A response from previous me and the no doubt disgusting carnal things she did with him. Just that easily, I’m horribly jealous of her all over again. Or maybe when it came to Ed the feelings never stopped.

“You’re staring at my mouth,” he says.

I put my fingers up to my own lips. “I’ve never been kissed. Did you know that?”

“No, I didn’t.” His gaze drops to my lips. “Tell me more.”

“Well, what worries me is, what do you do with the nose?”

He blinks. “With the what?”

“The nose. How do you decide who goes which way so no one’s nose gets broken?”

“If you’re going in so hard that someone’s liable to break something, you’re probably doing it wrong. Especially given your medical condition. No one should require a crash helmet to kiss.”

“And what about the breathing? Do you hold your breath or mouth breathe through it or what?”

“I can see you’ve given this a lot of thought,” he says. “You are aware that you kind of babble now when you’re nervous?”

“Yeah, I know. And then there’s the whole tongue or no tongue thing to consider.”

“Okay, Clem. Now you’ve definitely given this too much thought. If there isn’t at least a little spontaneity to the act, you’re pretty much ruining the whole thing. Have you discussed your kissing theories with anyone else?”

I think it over. “No.”

“Good. I don’t want you going out with that other guy from the café, either.”

“Well, what about the woman at my restaurant?”

“It’s not your restaurant; it’s our restaurant, and I’m not seeing her anymore,” he says. “Honestly, I don’t have a clue what this thing is between us or if it has a future. Or just a past. But my suggestion is that we spend some more time together and see how things go.”

I take a deep breath. “You’ve thought this through.”

“Tonight, when I was walking around. Wondering why I was so angry. Wondering why I’d been so reluctant to tell you anything about what happened. The truth is, my feelings for you are all fucked up. I can’t make sense of them . . . not yet. But I realized, if I’d come home and you weren’t here, I would have gone looking for you. Okay?”

“Uh, okay.”

“Good.” He rises up on one elbow, shifting across the bed until he’s lying beside me. Right flush up against my body. Him against me. “Now for the kissing.”

I can hardly wait.

Hands cup my face and his mouth is pressing against mine. There’s no time to worry about noses or breathing or any of that nonsense. So he was right about that. My mind is elsewhere, on much more important things. His tongue slides against the seam of my lips and I open my mouth on a gasp. It feels nice. All of it, everything he’s doing. It’s hot and wet and perfect. Him biting me. The way he rubs his tongue against mine. He kisses me hard and deep, thumbs stroking the sides of my face. Our bodies are pressed against one another and his hands slide into my hair. If I didn’t know better, I’d have said the man owned me. And I owned him. We fit together so well.

He doesn’t stop until my lips are swollen and my head is spinning. The pad of his thumb slides over my bottom lip. I can feel the warmth of his breath on my face. Don’t even get me started on the heat coming off of him. The way he’s lying half on top of me, pressing me down into the mattress.

“What do you think?” he asks, voice about a dozen times deeper and rougher than normal. His hands are tangled in my hair. The knowledge that this man wants me has my toes curling.

“About kissing or spending time together?”

“Both.”

“Your eyes are so pretty.” I smile. He’s dazzling, really. But maybe I’ve said enough for one evening.

He smiles back. “Kissing, yes or no?”

“Ah, yeah. Nice.”

“Nice?” he asks, sneering ever so slightly.

“You don’t like nice?”

“It’s your first kiss. I wanted to do a little better than nice.”

“It was very pleasant. I think I’d like to do it again sometime. If you’re amenable, of course.”

“You’re killing me.” He laughs. “What about the spending time together part?”