Repeat(40)

“Like I said. Death star explosion.” Leif’s voice is offhand, but its light tone sounds forced. Like he’s trying to keep a lid on the whole thing. He half-fills one of the glasses, pushing it across the table to me. “Drink, Clem. You’ve gone all pale. Go on.”

I do as instructed, though I’m not sure alcohol is the answer. However, something has to help the strange empty feeling. You’d think an answer, actual knowledge, would fill the vacant spaces inside. But it doesn’t. This time the definite hurts more than it helps. “Why did I think that? Where did I even get that idea?”

Ed’s eyes are a little frightening. The anger. “I don’t know. You wouldn’t say. You were crying, but you were cold. Like I was dead to you. I tried to get you to talk to me, but you just . . .”

I nod.

Without another word he’s on his feet and racing toward the door. Leif grabs my arm as if to halt me. Just in case I’d had a mind to follow. And say what exactly? Then he pats the back of my hand, giving me a sad smile.

“Let him go,” says Leif.

“I didn’t mean to upset him like that.”

“I know. Anyway, he should have told you by now. That was stupid of him. Sooner or later, it was going to come out, and it’s not like it isn’t your history too.”

“Yeah.”

“For the record, there’s no way he did it,” says Leif, looking me dead in the eye. “I mean, he’s always the one lecturing me: ‘Don’t screw married women,’ ‘Don’t screw clients or work colleagues,’ ‘Are you sure they’re both over twenty-one?’ No way he’d risk getting knocked off his high horse.”

He’s trying to make me laugh, and I muster up the best smile I can.

“He would never have done it, Clem. You might not have known him for that long with your head and all. But my brother is one of the best people around and he was crazy about you.”

“I know; I do. I just wished I understood why I . . . anyway. Sounds like I hurt a lot of people.” I put another twenty on the table beside Tessa’s. That should cover the wine. “You should go after him, Leif. He’s upset. He shouldn’t be on his own.”

“I’ll find him once you’re safe and sound at home. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

He slips an arm around my shoulders. It feels brotherly. Affectionate. “Oh my darling, Clementine. He’ll be fine. And there’s nowhere in this town that idiot can hide that I can’t find him.”

“Maybe I should call Frances and go back to her place?”

“No, don’t do that. Once he’s calmed down he’ll probably want to talk to you, check you’re okay and everything.”

“Probably? Great.” I sigh. “Though talking about this isn’t really his thing.”

Slowly, we climb the stairs back up to the street level. “You have to remember, for him this all happened a pretty short time ago. He loved you a lot.”

“I know. I found the ring.”

Leif groans. “Yeah. Shit.”

“What a mess.” Then a thought occurs to me. “Did he ever want to marry Tessa?”

“Come here.” Leif turns me to face him, then carefully wipes away my tears. Obviously it was just raining on my face or something. You can’t be upset about something you don’t even remember happening. He tuts. “Stop crying. Goodness gracious. Your face has gone all blotchy and pink. Is that really how you want to look?”

“No.”

“He and Tessa were together for years, but they were a lot younger. Late teens, early twenties. Just kids, really. It wasn’t serious in the same way it was between you two, you know?”

“I think it’s safe to say I do not know shit.”

Leif smiles. “No? Well, know that shit will sort itself out. It always does in the end.”

“If you say so.”

We head back to the condo. I don’t tell him that’s exactly what I’m afraid of . . . the end. But I’ve a feeling it’s just gotten a lot closer.





Chapter Nine


I’m not exactly certain what wakes me, but it’s late. One in the morning, at least. Gordy’s been asleep for ages and I must have finally drifted off a while back too, despite the emotional turmoil. Ed is sitting in front of me on the coffee table, his head in his hands. The lighting is low and his hair is a mess, as if he’s been shoving his fingers through it all agitated like for hours.

“Hey,” I say. “Are you all right?”

With a sigh, he raises his gaze to me. “Clem, why are you sleeping on the couch?”

“Thought you might want your space.” I sit up, pushing back the blanket. “Where did you go?”

“Just walked around for a while.” He pauses. “Is that my shirt?”

“Yes.”

His brows rise. “You’re wearing my shirt?”

I’m too tired to be embarrassed. “It smells good. It’s comforting.”

“Okay.” He exhales and holds out a hand. “Come to bed.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this just to be kind, you know?”

He twitches his fingers impatiently and I take them, letting him lead me into the hallway. The door to the spare room is shut so Leif must have already crashed. A bedside lamp is on in Ed’s room. A good thing. Not sure I could handle the brighter glare of the overhead light right now. He closes the door, slips off his sneakers and socks before taking off his shirt. Undoes his jeans and slides them down his legs. Holy shit, the hard planes of his chest and the sight of his black boxer briefs. All of a sudden, I’m wide awake. His strong thighs, his knees, even the light hairs on his legs are sexy. I turn my back on the ridiculously unintendedly hot striptease before I spontaneously orgasm or something. So I now know Ed dresses to the left. There you go.