Real Bad Things(96)

“Oh my God. Are you kidding me?” She gaped at Jason and pointed at the couch. “She’s been here this whole time? Fucking blackout drunk? And you’re what?” She examined him. The whiskey still in hand. “Bringing her booze, like a good fucking boy?”

“Keep your voice down,” Jason said, his voice all quiet and weird. “You’ll wake her.”

“I don’t give a fuck if I do!” She shoved him. It felt good. Like something she’d wanted to do for a long time. He dropped the whiskey. Dark spots from the spill covered his shirt and the carpet. “Fuck her! She’s the worst, and so are you.” She glared at him. “They’re coming for her. It’s only a matter of time. Let’s Talk About Maud said they have a warrant. They’re coming.”

“Jane, please. Just leave.”

“Why?”

A mix of anguish and panic played on his face. “Be quiet.”

“Why?”

She rushed to where Diane lay on the couch, fully intending to pull the covers off and start whaling on her, but Jason stood in her way.

“Stop it,” he said.

She pushed him again, but he barely moved. He tried to capture her arms.

“Why should I leave? Why should I be quiet?” Her screams echoed in her ears. She burst around him and launched at Diane.

“Don’t touch her!”

Jane slammed into Diane, lost her balance, and rolled onto the floor. She scrambled to her feet, ready to fight.

Diane didn’t move.

“Fucking USELESS.” She screamed the words right in Diane’s ear.

Nothing.

“Why isn’t she moving?” Jane asked, her voice still high and ragged.

“Jane.” Jason’s voice registered. Calm. Declarative. He put his hands on her shoulders in a comforting gesture. “You should leave. I’ll take care of it.”

Take care of it? Take care of what? He wanted to distract her. He wanted to make peace. Make the bad things go away.

“Wait. What?” The room began to spin.

“Mom,” he said. “I’ll take care of it.”

She thought she might collapse from lack of air.

“What do you mean you’ll take care of it?” Her eyes wandered the room, as if the answer to her question could be located somewhere within those walls. A bottle of pills sat on the kitchen table.

She raced toward it. But Jason grabbed the bottle before she had a chance to examine the label. The patient name.

“I found her like this.” Small, almost imperceptible veins along his temple jumped.

Jane shook her head. “She doesn’t take pills. She drinks.” She thought back to the medicine cabinet. There had been nothing she could OD on. Nothing she could even use to escape.

He seemed surprised, caught off guard. “I didn’t think so either. But I came in, and I found her.” He searched for words. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to . . .” Sadness shadowed his face, but he locked it down. “You have to go. You didn’t see anything.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t do more, okay? Or speak up. You’re right. I’m a fucking coward. Now go. Before they get here.”

“Who?”

“The police, Jane. The fucking police.”

“I don’t . . .”

The pills, the booze, the body. Her mom’s body.

Oh my God.

Without warning, he pulled her into him. He held her so tight she could barely breathe.

She scrambled to release herself from the cage of his embrace. Her lungs closed in. Air felt difficult. Wooziness unsteadied her. She didn’t know what was happening. Right when she felt certain her body would hit the floor, Jason let go.

She bent over and gasped for air, hands clutched on knees. She squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them, as if that might make a difference, might encourage air into her lungs.

When she lifted her head, he held her gaze. “Go,” he said. “Leave Maud. Don’t come back.”

“No.” It was too final. “I don’t want to leave you here.” Who was she if not Jason’s big sister, protector?

“You have to. We can’t both be here when they find her.”

When they find her? The way he said it scared her.

Something within him seemed to break. He released great gasping cries in between suffocating squeezes of remorseful sorries. The fury and then the anguish had been assuaged, replaced by defeat.

“You know, you always used to tell me we weren’t like other kids,” he finally said. “That we had to grow up too soon. You were right. You just didn’t know how right. How different I was from them, and even you.”

“What do you mean?” She began to cry too. “How were you different? What are you talking about?”

He grabbed her face. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Georgia Lee’s favorite line. She never believed it. Not when Georgia Lee said it. And not now, when the words came from Jason. None of this was okay.

“I never asked you for anything, but I’m asking you to promise me,” he said, still gripping her face. “I’m asking you to leave.”

“But what about her?” Panic crept into her voice. “What about Warren?”