Real Bad Things(94)
Jane laughed and smacked her on the butt. “Get dressed so we can get this over with and come back here and lay around in this filthy room some more.”
When Georgia Lee returned from brushing her teeth, Jane still sat at the table. She stared at her phone, not blinking or scrolling, as if in shock.
“What is it?” Georgia Lee asked. Jane didn’t respond until she asked a second time.
She held out the phone. “Fucking Gerry.”
It took Georgia Lee a minute to remember the name and why it sounded familiar. Stress. Trauma. Short-term memory loss. She’d not been wrong about all that.
Georgia Lee took the phone from Jane.
LOVELACE—UNMASKED AND READY TO REVEAL ALL!
Welp, folks. We did NOT see this one coming!
As you all know, we’ve been able to bring you the latest news in town thanks to loyal followers like you. But ain’t no one in town more loyal than Lovelace, who’s been at the forefront of hot goss in Maud’s greatest, most epic story of all time: LEZZIE BORDEN AND HER IRON MAIDEN.
. . .
Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit.
. . .
Lovelace, our best and most famous source is . . .
GERRY HARDGROVE.
!!!
GERRY FUCKING HARDGROVE, LADIES AND GENTS!
!!!
Let’s give a round of gotdam applause for the man’s service.
Not only did he keep us a-BREAST of the details, he tipped us off to her gal pal, our very own GEORGIA LEE VIGILANTE.
How exactly did Gerry know all this you might ask?
Aside from finding and pulling up the remains, good ole Gerry found it within himself to do the Lord’s Work and sliding right into the grieving widow’s DMs.
(Gerry said he didn’t mean for anything to happen and just wanted to send his condolences.)
LOL, GERRY. LOL.
So why come forward as Lovelace now?
That’s exactly what we wanted to know!
Hoooooooboy. Sit down for this one.
After Diane Ingram’s arrest for assaulting the daughter who confessed (falsely, apparently) to killing Warren (and who could blame her?),
Gerry bailed Diane out and ushered her home.
But that’s where, he says, things got weird.
Diane Ingram started going through the house and tossing shit.
WHY? GERRY ASKED.
But Diane wouldn’t give an answer. She just kept muttering about MURDERING HER OWN DAUGHTER.
Freaked out, Gerry got the hell outta there and since learned from his own secret sources that Jane Mooney, Diane’s own daughter, ACCUSED DIANE OF MURDERING KEITH LINDSAY, THE MAN WHO
IS NOT WARREN!!!!
Can y’all keep up? Cause we’re having a hard time.
Gerry went on to say, generally speaking, we ain’t so good at the details or stenography round here:
“I have turned over what I know to the po-lice, and I reckon they’re drawing up a warrant as we speak.
Y’all know I don’t like to speak ill of people, and it’s not my place to cast someone as evil, but I do believe that woman has a darkness in her heart. And I do believe,
she has lost everything.
AND NOW SHE’S LOST ME.”
Oh, Gerry! You heartbreaking sonofagun.
My man, you are lucky you made it out of there alive!
The Chief already pulled his usual bull crap when we asked, saying how this is another tragic and unexplained drowning that he ain’t gonna do shit about. Well, we call bull on that!
Put Detective Benjamin Hampton on the case!
He seems to be the only one who cares about the Missing Men of Maud!
As for the fate of the man who started this all?
Did former city councilor Georgia Lee Lane and Jason Tran END that motherfucker, along with Jane Mooney?
Is he hanging out on the bottom of the Arkansas River somewhere?
Or did he get up and scootch on outta here as some suggest?
We can guess. But we may never know.
But, hey Maud, we’ll keep digging until we do!
In the meantime, if you want to Lace us with some Love, don’t be shy.
Give us a little ring-a-ling.
#MaudIsMurderCity #LovelaceRevealed #KillOrBeKilled #FuckinGerryAmirite?
“We have to get over there.” Jane hopped out of her chair and grabbed her wallet, her phone, her motel key. “Now.”
Georgia Lee checked the post date. It’d just gone live. “That place is about to be swarmed with people.”
“Which is why we need to go now.”
“That’s exactly why we shouldn’t go.”
Jane threw Georgia Lee’s purse toward her. Georgia Lee barely caught it. “One. My shit’s there, and I don’t want it to be taken into evidence. Or two, have her take it and hock my shit on her way out of town,” she said. “I’m not letting her leave Maud. She’ll have to kill me first.”
“Based on what I’ve seen, she might.”
Jane ignored her and opened the door. “Let’s go.”
Thirty-Seven
JANE
“Maybe Diane drunk herself into a stupor and you’ll be in and out like that with your things and we can just wait in the car to ensure she doesn’t leave,” Georgia Lee said. “Like a stakeout. Until the cops show up.”
Jane tried to smile. She grasped Georgia Lee’s hand. “Don’t leave.”