Raw (RAW Family #1)(68)
No shit, Sherlock.
A minute passes and we remain silent, but her thumb strokes mine so gently that the urge to talk overcomes me. “Had a shitty childhood. That shitty childhood turned into a shitty adolescence. I met someone when I was just a kid who made me believe it might get better. In my head, I told myself that I had to make the most of what I had to make things better, so I did what I could. I ran away from said shitty childhood and lived on the streets for a few years. Things got better in some ways. But other things just got worse. Ended up in bad places, doing bad things to make a buck to live. Eventually bad – in my mind – became good.” A look of confusion crosses her face. I try to explain, “What I mean is that those bad things, I didn’t see as bad anymore. It was just my life. So I guess you could say I’m desensitized to a lot of bullshit. Most shit that would shock and disgust a normal person doesn’t shock me at all. And bad doesn’t seem so bad anymore. In my mind, most bad things are good.”
Turning, I take in Lexi’s semi-lit silhouette, which watches me with wide eyes, clearly in shock over me revealing so much of myself. I’m shocked too. The only two people who really know about me – I mean really know about me – are Happy and Julius. Happy, Julius, and I all met in bad places. We get each other.
Turning the tables on her, I ask, “What made you who you are?”
Lexi shrugs. “A whole bunch of things. I don’t know really.”
I tut, “Bullshit. I asked you a question, girl. I expect an answer.”
She lies on her side, resting her chin on her upturned hand. “Okay, smartass. Well, I guess it started at home with me too. Things weren’t good. Mom was working all the time. Dad was a mean old bastard. Mom would work most nights because it was better money, and the dropkick I called Dad would spend most of that money on weed and booze, drowning out the mess that was his life. Me and my brother looked after each other as much as we could. But I couldn’t protect him the way he protected me. I was small and fragile. Whenever Dad got mad, my brother would shove me in my room and lock the door from the outside. They’d tussle, but nothing too bad. Eventually, my brother turned to drugs because Dad was…”
Her eyes lose focus, and something churns in my gut. An unfamiliar feeling.
Protectiveness. I feel protective of Lexi.
I don’t know what to do with that.
Shaking her head, her eyes meet mine and she forces a smile. “Everyone’s got a story. It could’ve been worse though. My neighbors growing up, they…” Her brow furrows. “They weren’t nice people. I was just a baby, maybe five or six, and I would hear them every night. Yelling and hurtin’ on their son.” She whispers, “He was just a boy. And I would sit in my room and…and just cry. Cry with him.”
Her voice sounds pained, and my heart races.
She adds quietly, “I met him once. I saw him limping into my backyard. He was hurt. And when he fell, even though I was just a kid, I couldn’t imagine leaving him there, all alone and scared.” She whispers again, “He was just a boy. A little boy. And he was hurt bad.”
Pulling her hand to bring her closer to me, I wrap an arm around her waist and she buries her face into my neck. I need to know. “What happened with the little boy?”
She inhales deeply and replies on an exhale, “He tried to fight me.” And I smile at her temple. She must feel it because she laughs softly. “Yeah. He was a tough one. Not wanting help from anyone, especially me. Very wary and suspicious.” Then she says something that makes my chest ache. “He was a little like you, Twitch.”
Snuggling into me, she speaks into the side of my neck. “He didn’t want to tell me his name. But I got it out of him. He told me I’d forget once he was gone and I promised I wouldn’t. I remember trying so hard to make sure I didn’t forget it.” She smiles at my throat. “I even carved his name into the huge oak back home when I was ten.” She chuckles, “It’s like I wanted to prove to him that I kept my word.” Silence, then, “It didn’t matter, though. The day after I met him, there were ambulances and police cars all over his house. I hid in my room, covering my ears ‘til they left. And I knew…I just knew he was gone.”
My aching chest is soothed when a feeling of warmth settles over me.
Lexi yawns. “I guess that’s why I do what I do. You know? Help the kids I help. It’s sorta because of him. I’ll never forget him. He was a fighter. I always thought of him as a survivor.”
I don’t want to ask. I don’t want to ask. Don’t ask. “Do you remember his name, baby?”
Half asleep, she whispers, “Antonio Falco.”
My body tenses, solid as a rock. I listen closely as her breathing deepens then evens out, and her body softens as she falls into a deep sleep.
Fuck me. Fucking hell. I don’t believe this shit.
Breathing heavily, my jaw tightens and I pull Lexi deeper into me, savouring her warmth and sweetness. Everything I’m too stubborn to let go of.
Goddamn it! This wasn’t meant to happen. This… Fuck me… This changes everything.
Lexi remembers me.
A piercing shriek in my ear makes my entire body jolt.
The shriek sounds again. Then again.
My bedroom door bursts open, and Happy stands there in his boxers, as well as Ling in a skimpy nightie, both looking just woken. When Ling spots Lexi at my side, she scowls. Lexi lifts her head and mumbles, “What’s going on? What’s that freaking noise?” Blinking, she looks to the door and yells, “What is she doing here?”