Perfectly Adequate(97)

This. This is her truly letting go.

This is me … letting go.

“Eli …” As more tears fill her eyes, I fight my own emotions, and she sees it. This time she hugs me.

This time she comforts me.

We hold each other for so long, I’m not sure what time of day it is. It’s a silent goodbye. It’s painful. It’s exactly what it should be because we’ve been each other’s world—each other’s everything—for so long. I spent a lifetime with this woman.

Now, I kiss her on the cheek one last time as I release her, turn, and walk out the door to spend a lifetime with Dorothy Mayhem.





EPILOGUE





New Neighbors


Seven (ish) months later …

“I’m a whale. A whale in a gown. A whale with a hat. How do you like that?”

“Are you ghost writing for Dr. Seuss?” I ask Dorothy, the mother of my child—a girl we were told. My superhero. My exercise buddy. My almost everything … except Roman. Oh … and she’s not my wife.

Nope.

No marriage for Dorothy Mayhem.

Just as well. It would be a crime to change that awesome name of hers.

I adjust her graduation cap before kissing her coconut-flavored lips while holding Violet Riley Mayhem Hawkins in my hands as she kicks inside her mom’s belly.

Yes, I’m getting ready to live a life of Riley and mayhem.

“Does this gown make me look fat?” Dorothy continues, frowning.

“Nurse Mayhem, I’ve had about enough of you insulting the woman I love. Can you give it a break? Put a smile on your face. And go plant your sexy booty in that chair to get your diploma.”

“Think you’ll actually stick with this one?” Her dad smirks, referring to her many degrees.

Dorothy shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m kind of getting sick of the hospital scene.”

I laugh to lighten the mood. Her parents? They don’t laugh because they know she’s not joking. I know it too, but this woman has my baby inside of her. I don’t give a shit whether or not she gets an actual job as a nurse.

My Dorothy wanders through life. And as long as she always makes it back to me, I don’t care if she spends an eternity in college, getting twenty different degrees, or pushing patients around a hospital, or gleaning every night of the week.

“Dorothy … I will clap for you.” Roman hugs her legs, and she bends down to hug him back. My son loves her, maybe more than me. She’s worthy of that kind of love. She’s just … fucking perfection.

“Thanks, Romeo.”

“Kisses for Violet.” He presses his hands to her belly and kisses his baby sister.

“I’m going to cry …” Kellie wipes her eyes.

“Please don’t, Mom. I’m puffy everywhere else. Can you not make me cry with your sappiness?”

“It’s happiness, not sappiness.” Kellie rolls her eyes at Dorothy. “We’re going to take Roman to find seats. I love you.” She hugs her daughter.

Dorothy makes her usual awkward attempt to hug her mom back, but Violet has complicated things. As if that’s even possible with a Dorothy Mayhem hug.

“Come on, Dorothy,” one of her classmates calls, passing Dorothy to get seated in the auditorium.

“You good?”

She grins at me. “I’m okay.”

I glance at my watch. “I’m going to watch from here so I can close my standing ring before you.”

“Jerk.” She frowns, pivoting to head into the auditorium.

I grab her gown, giving it a tug to stop her. Then I wrap my arms around her, resting my chin on her shoulder, my hands over hers on her belly. “Dorothy Mayhem,” I whisper, “I am so proud of you. You are the universe. Unequivocally the kindest human I have ever known. Thank you for choosing me. This lifetime … with me. I love you.”

Her head tips back against mine. “I think I love you too.”

“Okay.” I kiss her cheek one last time before letting her go.

*

Three days later, I take my Dorothy to the hospital at three in the morning, when her contractions get too close for comfort.

Only … we don’t make it there.

“Now, Eli.” She shoots me a wide-eyed glance, ten minutes from the hospital. Her hand slides up her skirt. “Eliii!” She closes her eyes, holding her breath. “I feel the head. Eli!”

“Okay, babe. We’ve got this. No big deal.” I pull over on the side of the road.

“It burns!” She grunts, scrunching her face. “It is a big deal!”

I call for an ambulance.

“I’m going to move you to the backseat.” I hop out, run around the car, and lift her from the front seat to the backseat.

“Eli!” She tucks her chin and pushes. “Oh god! Call an ambulance before this baby falls out onto its head! Eli … she has my genes. We can’t let her fall on her head too!”

“Dorothy Mayhem …” I grab her hand, interlacing our fingers and squeezing until she gives me her eyes. “I know I’m not your favorite doctor … but I’m nonetheless a doctor. I called the ambulance. They’ll be here soon. In the meantime … we’ve got this. I’ve got you. I’ve got Violet.”