Perfectly Adequate(92)

“A word, Dorothy.” She steps off the elevator, shoulders back, chin up like the boss bitch she is, making a straight line to her office with my pregnancy test.

What is it with the Hawkins-Hathaway duo and their constant need to have a word with me?

I was never sent to the principal’s office in school. So this is new for me. And it sucks because I’m not prepared for this. If she can give me a day, I’ll be ready. Something tells me she’s not likely going to grant my request.

“Close the door please.”

I close the door.

She stands behind her desk, as any authoritative boss bitch would do, and pulls the test out of the pocket of her lab coat. After wordlessly staring at it for an eternity, she lifts her gaze to mine. “Please tell me you have a boyfriend.”

I shake my head.

Her brow wrinkles as she returns her attention to the pregnancy test.

“When is the last time you spoke with Elijah?”

“Um … on Halloween he sent me a photo of Roman, but I didn’t respond. But not because I didn’t think it was a cute picture. Roman is the most adorable little boy I’ve ever seen.”

Dr. Hathaway grunts a laugh and nods several times. “And when is the last time you had sex with Elijah?”

It’s not her business. I mean … I don’t think it’s her business. I honestly don’t know whose business is whose right now.

“Five weeks ago,” I say because I can’t lie to her.

Her head resumes its slow nod. She would have been a good principal or maybe even a prosecutor.

“What are your plans?” She pins me with a neutral look that makes me squirm.

“I peed on that stick less than thirty minutes ago. I don’t have a plan yet.”

“Are you planning on keeping it? Are you planning on telling him?”

“I …” I shake my head. “Of course I’m keeping it.”

She cringes. “I didn’t mean to imply that you shouldn’t. I simply respect a woman’s right to choose.”

If only she respected my right to my pregnancy test.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Her head cants to the side.

Damn she’s good. Solid. Unyielding. Formidable in her own way.

“Did you rape Elijah?”

“What?” My head jerks backward. “No!”

“Then why would you apologize for having consensual sex with him?”

“Because I gave him back to you so Roman can have a home with two parents who get to see him every day because that’s the dream. And Roman is too young to live anything short of a dream if it’s even a remote possibility.”

I sigh, hoping my heart will settle down, hoping she’ll let me leave so I can deal with this in some way that doesn’t involve her giving me the third degree, demanding I make life-changing decisions right this second.

“You’re right. Roman does deserve that. And I love Eli. And there’s nothing I want more than this second chance with him.”

I work my teeth into my bottom lip so hard I can taste blood. “I’m not taking him away from you, but I have to tell him. You know this, right? And we’ll figure something out. But I’m not ready to tell him yet. If you want me to let you know when I’m ready to tell him, I can do that.”

She turns her back on me and drops her head, cupping a hand on the back of her neck. “You can go now.”

I don’t need to be told twice.

*

Elijah

“I need to go.” I unfold from the chair as my mom stands and makes her usual Friday trip around her desk to give me a hug and kiss.

“Thanks for lunch. We’ll pick Roman up around five. I’m proud of you for giving Julie another chance. You are a kind man and an incredible father. So just enjoy your weekend alone with Julie. You both need this, especially after a solid three weeks of someone being sick in your house. Everyone will be well-rested and in a good mood for Thanksgiving next week.”

I nod. “Yeah. Okay, then I’ll see you later.”

I head back to work. If I didn’t know better, I’d say the universe is conspiring to keep me from having sex with Julie. And while I still can’t get Dorothy out of my mind, I need to make an effort to move forward and show Julie my intentions are real.

So now that everyone is finally well, I’m sending Roman to spend the weekend with my parents while I work on my relationship with Julie—while I reconnect with her.

God … I hope it falls into place. I hope all the old feelings come rushing back because I can’t live a life with her if every damn day my heart beats for another woman.

I get home a few minutes before five, a little surprised that my mom and dad aren’t here yet. “Hey.” I smile at Julie when I walk into the kitchen.

“Hey.” She returns my smile, but it’s not quite as big as mine.

“Rough day?” I ask, looking over my shoulder as I wash my hands.

She sips a glass of red wine and shrugs. “You could say that.”

My gaze makes a quick sweep of her body covered by the same clothes she wore to work—fitted black pants and a soft pink blouse showing a bit of cleavage. Her hair is down. And her lips are covered in red.

“You look like a million bucks.” I mean it, and I feel a sense of accomplishment for saying it without tripping over any guilt.