Perfectly Adequate(66)
“I fear I could fall behind with closing my rings for a while.”
A smile forms along her perfect lips. “Ya think?”
“I’m glad you came over the other night. I might need those memories to make it through the healing process.”
Her cheeks bloom red. “I was reading about orgasms.”
Yeah, I love her. And I feel certain I will die a happy man if she starts every conversation with “I was reading about orgasms.”
She continues, “You know the Lazarus reflex?”
“Yes.”
“Well, did you know that if you were only being kept alive by machines, so basically dead, that as long as your sacral nerve is being oxygenated, you can be stimulated to have an orgasm? Like giving a dead person an orgasm. That’d be the way to go out, right?”
It all hurts so bad, but so very good at the same time. My grin pulls at my swollen lip, and my laughter pulls at my fractured ribs, but I welcome the pain because Dorothy Mayhem makes life pretty fucking amazing. “Do I want to know how this all came about?”
She shrugs. “Just something I thought about when they didn’t know if you’d wake up.”
“Were you going to suggest I get one last orgasm before they unplugged me? Please say yes. If you do, I think I’ll make sure you’re legally responsible for making all final decisions for me if I go under again.”
Dorothy giggles. “I’ve seen ultrasounds of babies masturbating in the womb. It’s only fitting to go out with the same simple-minded pleasure with which you came into this world.”
The question begs to be asked … why was Dorothy so thoroughly researching orgasms? But I don’t ask the question because it’s Dorothy Mayhem. I expect the unexpected from her. It’s one of the things that made me fall so fast and so hard for her.
“You should sleep. And I haven’t been home yet, so lots to do before work tomorrow.”
“Like masturbate?”
“What? No!” She releases my hand and curls her hair behind her ears again.
“Rumor has it I could be in this joint for another week. Think you could smuggle in a pizza some night?”
There it is … that smile. God, it’s oxygen. “Maybe.”
“Drive safely, Dorothy.”
She nods, lips twisted as her gaze makes a slow inspection from my toes to my head. Then she leans over and kisses my cheek. “Goodnight,” she whispers.
I take a slow breath as she walks to the door and close my eye when she disappears around the corner.
“Eli?”
I open my eye again.
She peeks her head around the corner, teeth planted into her bottom lip.
“Yes?”
“I do too.”
“You do too?” I ask.
“Love you. I think I love you too.” She shrugs. “So now you know, just in case you don’t wake up in the morning.”
How incredibly morbid … and … perfect. Three words don’t fit Dorothy. A simple “I love you” would not feel right coming out of her mouth in this moment. Nope. It has to be six. Six is infinitely better than three.
I think I love you too.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Homebound
Dorothy
I keep my routine for the most part. I need routine, especially with Eli in the hospital and his family visiting at randomly different times. Several times I consider suggesting we make up a schedule so his room isn’t stuffed to the limit with visitors. But they seem to enjoy the large gathering, and so does Eli. So I never get the nerve to say anything.
On his last night in the hospital, I stop by after my shift, assuming—hoping—the later hour will grant me some alone time with Eli.
No such luck.
Instead, his parents and Julie are here, discussing his home care. They smile when I slip into the room, even Julie’s smile looks a little more genuine.
“Hi, sweetie.” Lori smiles.
They continue discussing who will take care of Eli until he can get around on his own.
As I take a seat in the corner of the room, Eli winks at me before returning his attention to his mom.
“I’m taking off two days a week to be with you. Your dad will take a day off too. Molly is going to see about taking one morning, but she’s not sure yet. I really think we should consider an in-home nurse just during the day. And I’ll stay over during the nights.” His mom brushes his bangs away from his face.
“I can do two days. And I’ll do nights and weekends too,” Julie announces.
“Jules …” Eli starts to speak.
“It’s fine. I’ve already arranged for two of my colleagues to cover some days for me until you’ve recovered. Then my mom can have a break from watching Roman. She and my dad have been wanting to take a vacation anyway. And Roman can take a break from daycare.” Julie rests her hand on Eli’s arm.
As for me … I want to slink out of the room before anyone looks in my direction.
Too late.
Eli studies Julie with an unreadable expression before sliding his gaze in my direction. “Know any good in-home nurses?”
“Oh—” I do. I know several.
But Julie cuts me off. “Eli, don’t be ridiculous. Why would you want that? I’m giving you more time with Roman. Quality time. It’s the perfect solution, but you’d rather have some stranger help you to the bathroom? In and out of bed?”