Perfectly Adequate(65)

My head eases side to side. It’s stiff. But it moves, so that’s a really good sign.

“You fell while out on the trail. It was a long fall. You’re going to be fine.”

I don’t remember that. Maybe that’s for the best. I just remember Dorothy and Warren and their fondue date. Date … how could she have sex with me and go out with him two nights later? Ha! I don’t like that memory, but it sure as hell feels good to know I have memories. So my head injuries can’t be that severe.

“How … long?”

“Two days.” Mom smiles again. Of course she smiles. I’m alive and only have been in a coma for two days. Good news indeed. It could have been two years. Two years for Roman to forget me. Two years for Julie to remarry. Two years of not saving young lives. Two years for Dorothy to fall in love with Dr. Warren.

“Kendra and Molly will be here soon. Julie was going to get Roman dinner and take him to Peggy’s, but your dad just texted her, so she’s on her way now with Roman. He hasn’t been to the hospital since your accident. We didn’t want him seeing you unconscious.”

“Good,” I say in a hoarse voice.

“Dorothy said she’d check in on you after the end of her shift. I messaged her and she sent a string of emojis. She seems pretty excited to know you’re awake.”

“Okay.” I inwardly smile because it’s hard to actually form one on my face. My lower lip hurts. It’s probably cut or stitched or ripped off. I’m not sure.

While we wait for the rest of my family, they remove my oxygen mask and give me some ice chips. Mom continues to quiz me on my accident, but I can’t remember it. I remember everything else she asks me, which seems to please her and the other doctors.

“Daddy!”

Julie keeps a firm hold of Roman’s hand as he tries to sprint toward my bed. “Remember, Daddy is a little fragile right now. We have to be careful with him.” She lifts him up and sets him on the side of my bed. She smiles at me. It’s filled with a little sadness, but mostly relief. And for the first time in what feels like forever, I don’t sense anything like resentment or guilt. It feels like the way my wife used to smile at me.

“Your eye. Daddy, look! Your eye is scary.”

“Yeah, well, it will get better soon. I won’t look scary forever.”

Julie uses one arm to keep Roman from getting too rough around me while her other hand squeezes mine. Tears fill her eyes. “I was so scared, Eli.”

I squeeze her hand back. “I’m sorry.”

She quickly wipes the stray tear from her cheek and laughs. “Don’t apologize. I’m just …” She swallows hard. “I’m just so relieved you’re here. It could have …” Her words break as more tears fill her eyes.

“Hey.” I squeeze her hand again. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

My mom hands Julie a tissue while Roman tries to climb off the bed.

Later my sisters and their families arrive. Everyone seems relieved to see me awake. Lots of tears. It must have been bad. Again, I’m happy for the tiny bit of memory loss.

“Dorothy, no! Come back here,” my mom calls, slipping out of the room. “Don’t be scared off. It’s just family. Come in, dear.” She ushers Dorothy into the room.

Dorothy still has on her work scrubs, red with a royal blue undershirt and royal blue Nikes. Tucking her hair behind her ears, her gaze darts around the roomful of people. Her discomfort can’t be as bad as mine, but I still feel a pang of unease on her behalf.

“Dorfee!” Roman runs to her and gives her a high five.

Julie’s expression stays neutral, like she’s trying to act unaffected, but even with only one working eye at the moment, I don’t miss her tiny flinch.

“Little Romeo, I’ve missed you.” Dorothy smiles at Roman before finally giving me her gaze.

I need those honest eyes on me. They tell me everything she’s afraid to say.

“I fear we’re going to get in trouble for having too many people in here. Why don’t we grab dinner?” Mom suggests.

Everyone says goodnight to me while Dorothy backs into the corner of the room like she’s trying to disappear.

“Come here.” I hold out my hand after the door to the room closes and it’s just us.

“Thanks for not dying.” She laughs nervously while taking my hand.

“You’re welcome.” I ease my hand up so our palms are flat against each other.

She stares at our hands as I lace our fingers together.

“I love you.”

Her gaze shoots to mine, eyes wide, lips parted.

“I do. And I tried to die without saying it. And that was just stupid on my part. So in case I throw a clot or take some unexpected turn, I just want you to know. I love you, Dorothy Mayhem.”

It’s not that I intend for my declaration to be a surprise, but clearly it’s quite the shocker. I chuckle then grimace. My ribs aren’t ready for laughter. “It’s not a question. Okay? It requires no answer, no acknowledgment.”

She nods slowly, returning her gaze to our interlaced fingers. I bring them to my face, gently brushing my lips (kinda swollen lips) over her fingers. Dorothy has a way of taking away my pain, and I feel certain she has no idea the effect she has on me.