Perfectly Adequate(71)

“Roman, come eat!” Dr. Hathaway calls.

He runs into the kitchen.

“Bib, wild man.” Dr. Hathaway puts on his bib. “Where are you going?”

He runs to the other side of the kitchen and pulls out another bib. “Dorfee, here’s your bib.”

“Buddy, no …” Dr. Hathaway and Eli disapprove in unison.

“Fantastic. I was wondering where you put my bib.” I take the bib and tie it around my neck.

Eli and Dr. Hathaway look at each other and then at me. I return a satisfied shrug and unwrap my sandwich.

“Mmm … this is a really good sandwich.” Dr. Hathaway rolls her eyes like eating gives her an orgasm. “Reminds me of the sandwiches we had at the little hole-in-the-wall place just down from our hotel when we went to London right before I got pregnant. Remember?”

“Oh yeah.” Eli nods. “Best sandwich ever. This comes close though. Good find, Dorothy.” He winks at me.

“You ever been to London, Dorothy?” Dr. Hathaway asks.

“No. I’m pretty much a homebody.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. There’s so much to see in the world.” She wipes her mouth and takes a sip of water.

I finish chewing my food … thinking of an appropriate response.

“When I get better, we should go somewhere. What do you think?” Eli asks.

“Me too! I go somewhere wif Dorfee.”

Dr. Hathaway clears her throat. “You’d stay with me, wild man. We’ll go someplace together. Maybe back to Disney World.”

“If it’s my week with him, he could come with us,” Eli informs Dr. Hathaway.

“I suppose. But I don’t want you taking him to London. I want to be with him the first time he sees London.”

“Well, what if I want to be with him the first time he sees London?” Eli gives his rebuttal.

Me? Oh, I just keep eating. In fact, I can’t eat fast enough.

“I don’t think you honestly care. I just think you’re acting like you do because you know how much it means to me.” Dr. Hathaway wipes her mouth.

“Yes, you and your need to experience all of his ‘firsts.’ Did you ever think I wanted to be with him for his first visit to Texas? Doesn’t seem fair given the fact that you made the decision to have him half the time. That means you should be fine with half, the way you make me have to be fine with half. And maybe his first time in London won’t be part of your half.”

“Eli—” Dr. Hathaway narrows her eyes.

“Maybe …” I interrupt before fully swallowing. “You could take him to London together.”

I focus on the now. How to get out of an uncomfortable situation now. Not later when the three of them are on their way to London and I’m at home, being Dorothy homebody and feeling like I had a hand in putting their family back together.

Nope. I favor the now.

Just stop arguing in front of Roman now.

“Oh my gosh … we should, Eli. We should take him together!” Dr. Hathaway beams.

Eli … not so much. A piece of lettuce hangs out of his mouth, mid chew.

Someone should high-five emoji me. Problem solved.

Eli finishes chewing his bite and shifts his attention to me. “You think I should go with Roman and Julie to London? Just the three of us?”

“Sure.” I move my gaze to the cookie on my plate. It’s half gone already. “You both seem to like it. And I hear they have great sandwiches there.” I glance up.

Seriously?!

No one laughs. I perfectly timed that joke. How could they miss it?

Eli grunts and returns to eating his sandwich.

“You really wouldn’t mind?” Dr. Hathaway asks me, with big eyes and a tiny grin.

“Why would I mind?”

“No reason.” She shakes her head.

Roman steals the conversation with why he wants to be a honey badger, and that gobbles up the rest of lunchtime.

“Why don’t you take Roman outside to play for a bit?” Eli asks Dr. Hathaway.

She looks at Eli and then at me as she finishes wiping Roman’s face and hands. “Yeah. Sure.”

“I can take him out to play for a bit. I have about thirty minutes before I have to head back.”

“No.” Eli pushes his plate away from the edge of the table. “Julie will do it.” If his face were an emoji at the moment, it wouldn’t be a favorite of mine. I prefer happier emojis.

Dr. Hathaway and Roman go outside while I sit at the kitchen table under Eli’s bad emoji gaze.

“I don’t want to go to London with Julie and Roman. I want to go with you and Roman.”

“Okay. But I don’t care as much about seeing London as Julie—Dr. Hathaway—does. And she’s Roman’s mom, so it makes sense that she should see London with him instead of me.”

“Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I want you to care. I want you to care enough to not go on dates with Dr. Warren. I want you to care that my ex-wife has moved in with me for the next couple of months. I want you to care that I’m officially dependent on her for my basic needs. I want you to care that she pulls down my pants to get my cock out so I can take a piss!”

I curl my hair behind my ears. “I didn’t know she did that for you.”