Pen Pal(60)

“Great, thanks.”

“Good to hear.” He glances at Aidan. “You gonna sit, or is your man here gonna throw you over his shoulder and stalk off into the woods?”

“There’s really no telling.”

Aidan puts me into a chair. He takes the one next to me. Then he props his elbows on the tabletop and stares at my profile with the intensity of an FBI interrogator.

“Aidan?” says Deb, looking confused. “Everything okay?”

He doesn’t answer, but the tension in his body is enough to communicate volumes.

Looking at Deb, I say sheepishly, “He’s mad at me.”

Obviously surprised, she looks back and forth between us. “Why? He was literally just telling us how amazing you are before he stepped outside to take a call!”

This just keeps getting better. I want to slide under the table in shame, but manage to smile tightly and answer her. “I did something he didn’t appreciate.”

She and Jake glance at each other in surprise, then look back at me with lifted brows.

I feel like a world-class asshole.

After a rough throat clearing, I admit, “I saw him coming in here with his arm around your shoulders and assumed you were together.”

She laughs. “Us? Oh, honey, I’ve known this guy since high school. He’s like a brother to me.”

Jake slings his arm around the back of her chair and sends her a lazy smile. “You’ve known me since high school, too. You feel like I’m your brother?”

Smiling, she smacks him lightly on the thigh. “Oh, be quiet. You know what I’m saying.”

They share an affectionate kiss as Aidan continues to burn holes into the side of my face. Then he leans over and murmurs in my ear, “You were jealous.”

I turn my head. There’s no mistaking the glint of heat in his eyes. It’s right there next to the disappointment. When I chew on the inside of my cheek, he chuckles and withdraws.

The chuckle gives me hope that my punishment for breaking my promise never to lie to him won’t be too severe.

The waitress appears with a tray of waters for the table, then asks if we’d like drinks or appetizers before dinner.

Deb says, “God, yes. Give me a scotch and water, please. Easy on the water.”

I can already tell I’m going to get along well with this woman.

I ask for a glass of wine, and Jake and Aidan both order beers. When the waitress leaves to get our drinks, Deb leans over the table, smiling at me eagerly.

“So, Kayla. I understand you’re an artist.”

“An illustrator, actually.”

She crinkles her forehead. “They’re not the same thing?”

“I suppose I’m a commercial artist. As opposed to a fine artist.”

“Meaning you make money,” says Jake with a chuckle.

“Not much,” I answer ruefully. “But it pays the bills.”

Deb says, “I’m so jealous. I don’t have a creative bone in my body.”

Jake snorts. “Don’t know about that. You come up with some pretty creative stories every month when the credit card bill comes and you have to explain why you spent so much on Amazon.”

She waves a hand dismissively in his direction. “I keep telling you, honey, everything I buy is absolutely essential.”

“Explain to me how six pairs of identical black leggings are essential.”

She turns to him in outrage. “Would you prefer I go to Pilates class naked?”

He smiles at her. “I’d prefer you do everything naked.”

She turns back to me with pursed lips. “Ten years of marriage, and he’s still the Energizer Bunny.”

I try not to choke on the sip of water I’m taking. Under the table, Aidan squeezes my thigh. I know he’s smirking without turning to look.

The waitress returns with our drinks and takes everyone’s food orders. When she’s gone, Jake, Deb, and I chat about nothing in particular while Aidan watches us silently. His hand still rests on my thigh, a warm reminder that I’ve got some groveling to get to later. And after that, when I’m alone, some serious self-reflection.

I told Aidan that what I wanted was to get to know him better. To spend time with him and see where it goes. That was the truth, but was it the whole truth?

Do I really want something more?

If I’m honest with myself…yes.

The thought of it scares me. I don’t understand how I could possibly be ready to jump head first into a commitment so soon after Michael’s death. What does that say about the kind of person I am?

What does it say about my marriage?

These are questions I don’t really want to know the answers to. But in fairness to both Aidan and myself, they need to be asked.

“Don’t you think, Kayla?”

I suddenly realize everyone is waiting for me to answer a question Deb has asked. But I’ve been so lost in my own thoughts, I don’t know what it is. I glance around the table, my cheeks growing hot.

“Sorry, what was that?”

Deb hesitates. When she glances down at my left hand, resting on the tablecloth, I realize I’m obsessively twisting my wedding ring around my finger with my thumb. I pull my hand under the table and swallow nervously, hoping Aidan didn’t catch it, but knowing he probably did.