Our Kind of Cruelty(78)

‘Gus was lying on the ground just inside Mike’s front door,’ V said, her voice shaking. ‘Mike was on top of him, punching and punching him. I ran and pushed Mike off and was screaming for him to stop.’ Her breath heaved inside her, like a gale battering her ribs.

Petra lowered her voice. ‘I need you to explain to the court how it was that you were found with Mr Hayes’s arms around you when the police and Miss Porter arrived.’

V shook her head and another stream of tears ran down her cheek. ‘I don’t remember much of that. Nothing felt real. I remember feeling sure I was going to faint and being sort of pulled upwards. But I don’t think I even knew it was Mike holding me up.’

‘How did you feel when you found out Mr Hayes had killed your husband?’ Petra asked and it was like the whole court held its breath.

V’s eyes opened wider, as if she could see something denied to the rest of us. ‘It was like the whole world had fallen in on me. It still feels like that now. When I wake up in the morning it’s like I have a wall of concrete on my chest. I’m scared of everything. I find it hard to concentrate or think straight. I miss Angus every single second of every minute of every hour of every day.’

And there it was. The admission of what I had already worked out. Those were the words she used to say to me when she was ill before, how she couldn’t concentrate or think straight. It was like she was talking directly to me. It wasn’t Angus she missed every second of every minute of every hour of every day, it was me.

Petra shook her head. ‘Were you surprised at the violence Mr Hayes showed?’

‘I never thought anything like this would happen,’ V said. ‘But in hindsight I suppose I’m not surprised. It doesn’t feel like something Mike isn’t capable of.’

‘So you believe Mr Hayes to be a violent and dangerous man?’

‘I do,’ V said, looking straight at me as her tears fell silently. ‘I should have stopped him when I had the chance.’

Xander got his chance with V after lunch, although she didn’t look as if any sustenance had passed her pale lips.

‘Mrs Metcalf, I am interested in your dismissal of the game you played with Mr Hayes, this Crave.’ V looked up at him wearily and her head looked heavy for her neck. ‘You called it a bit of adolescent fun, even though you were both in your twenties. Is that correct?’

‘Yes. I probably shouldn’t have used the word adolescent.’

‘And maybe you shouldn’t have dismissed it as a bit of fun. I suggest it meant much more to you than a bit of fun.’

V looked at the spot I knew Suzi to be. ‘But that’s all it was, a bit of fun.’

‘Sexually charged fun in which you manipulated a stranger and Mr Hayes to make you aroused.’

‘It was hardly manipulation. And it aroused us both.’

‘Did you ever play this game with Mr Metcalf?’

I had known the question was coming but still my heart lurched like I was on a rollercoaster.

‘No,’ V said, and the definiteness of her tone reassured me.

‘Why not?’

‘Because I didn’t want to.’

‘So you discussed it with him?’

‘No, I don’t think I did.’

‘Were you ashamed of it? Embarrassed to talk to him about it?’

‘No, absolutely not.’ V leant her weight on to the witness box, but then stood straight again. ‘I didn’t want to do anything like that with Angus. Our relationship wasn’t like that, it was more than that. That game was just a childish stupid thing. It didn’t have a place in the relationship Angus and I had.’

The room felt swimmy, as if we had been suddenly transported to the jungle and the humidity was high. But I had to remind myself that she was only doing what she mistakenly thought was the right thing for us.

‘That’s quite a sudden dismissal of something you had played for many years, something others would find quite hard to comprehend.’

Verity looked up and her skin seemed tight across her face, like she had been wrapped in cellophane. ‘You’re making too much of this. No one ever got hurt, or even involved beyond a bit of mild flirtation.’

‘Except the girl in America,’ Xander said and I saw his chest puff out as he spoke.

V looked like she had been slapped. Petra also sat up straighter and I knew V hadn’t told her, which proved there were parts of us she was holding back, parts of the Crave she wanted to keep just for us.

‘Is it true that you and Mr Hayes picked up a girl in a bar when you were on holiday two years ago whom you took back to your hotel room and had sex with while Mr Hayes watched?’

Petra stood. ‘Objection, my lord. As far as I’m aware Mrs Metcalf is not being tried for her sexuality.’

‘Overruled,’ said Justice Smithson.

‘For the record,’ Petra said, ‘it is also no longer a criminal offence to be a sexually active woman.’

‘Sit down, Ms Gardner,’ Judge Smithson said. ‘You are being ridiculous.’ He stared at Petra from his stand, his anger clearly radiating off him. Petra’s cheeks coloured and she opened her mouth, but then sat heavily back on to her chair.

‘Please answer the question, Mrs Metcalf,’ Xander said. ‘Did you pick up a woman and have sex with her whilst Mr Hayes watched?’