Our Kind of Cruelty(77)

‘Can you describe to us what happened when Mr Hayes kissed you?’ Petra asked ghoulishly.

‘Mike is very strong,’ V said and I felt the jury turn to look at me. ‘He had me round the waist and I could, I mean, I could feel he was excited. I tried not to kiss him at first but I thought if I did then he might go away.’

‘How did you end up on the floor?’

‘Mike had me in a really tight grip, pressed against his chest, and I could feel that he was trying to manoeuvre me to lie down, but I wasn’t giving in. So he sort of picked me up and pulled me to the ground. Then, before I could get up again, he laid right on top of me with his whole weight. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.’

‘Did he try to have sex with you?’

V was crying again. ‘Yes, he tried to force my legs apart and pull down my trousers. I felt him trying to open the zip on his trousers.’

‘Did you tell him to stop?’

‘Yes.’

‘How many times did you have to tell him to stop before he did?’

‘Four, maybe five. I had to shout because it was like he was in a trance, it felt like I wasn’t getting through to him.’

‘But did he stop eventually?’

‘Yes, although he was angry. He shouted at me and said something about being bored with hearing about Angus.’

‘So you went along with what Mr Hayes was saying about leaving your husband because you were so scared?’

‘Yes.’

‘Not because you had any intention of leaving Mr Metcalf?’

‘God, no.’

‘So I take it you managed to get him to leave?’

‘Yes.’

‘What did you do after he had gone?’

‘I didn’t know what to do. Angus was in the air so I couldn’t contact him and my head was spinning. I was very ill that night and the next day. I couldn’t stop being sick and I was so weak I found it hard to stand to go to the bathroom. By the time Angus got home I was in a terrible state. I was running a temperature; I think I was a bit delirious. I didn’t have the strength to say anything, let alone tell him what had happened. I was going to, of course, I was going to call the police and everything. But then Mike came back that evening and started saying how we were in love with each other and I was going to leave Angus and go and live with him. I managed to get him to leave again and told Angus everything. It was terrible how upset and angry Angus was, how awful he felt at not having been able to protect me.’ V had given up her fight to control her tears, which now streamed down her face. ‘I feel so terrible about how unhappy I made Angus at the end. How sad and angry. He put me back to bed after we’d agreed that we would call the police in the morning and I must have gone to sleep because the next thing I knew I woke up with a jolt. I could tell the house was empty even lying in bed.’ She gasped as she spoke, again as if the air could save her, her face contracting.

‘What time was this?’

‘One thirty.’

‘What did you do then?’

‘I shouted for Angus and then started looking for him, although I knew he wasn’t in the house. Then I noticed the computer was on and a file I’d created for the wedding was open with all the names and addresses of everyone we’d invited. I knew then that he must have gone to see Mike.’

‘The jury will note that there are twenty-three missed calls on Mr Metcalf’s mobile phone from Mrs Metcalf between one forty-seven and two thirty-one a.m. I would also like to play the court a recording of the voicemail Mrs Metcalf left Mr Metcalf at two oh six a.m.’

Petra signalled to someone and then V’s voice burst into the room, her tone shrill and high, her voice clouded with tears. ‘Gus, I know where you’re going, but please don’t. You don’t know what he’s like. Please, please don’t. It’s not worth it. We’ll call the police and they’ll deal with it. Please call me. Oh Gus, please.’

No one spoke for a minute and the silence fell over the court like a blanket. I held my own hands together, but I could feel the shiver begin in my body, as if it had leapt from V to me, as if our communication was so strong it was impossible for our bodies not to respond to each other. I kept my eyes on hers and eventually she looked up briefly, straight into me.

‘Did Mr Metcalf call you back?’

V shook her head and she almost seemed to vibrate. ‘No. I never spoke to him again.’

‘So, when you couldn’t get hold of your husband what did you do?’

V looked back up, but not at me. ‘I rang Mike. I told him Gus was on his way over and not to answer the door. I told him I was getting in a taxi.’

‘Which you did?’

‘Yes.’

‘You arrived at Mr Hayes’s house just after two thirty.’

V shut her eyes momentarily and her head swayed. She raised her hand and it connected with the eagle. I wanted to leap the barriers and take her in my arms, because I knew what it would be costing her to lie about what we mean to each other. To say that she thought I was going to rape her must be like her taking a knife to her own soul. I wanted to lift her up and soar into the air and out of all this violence and mess and dread. But I am not Superman, I am only human and there is a cleverer way to save her. One that is only now becoming clear.

It is obvious that V thinks it is necessary for one of us to remain on the outside, keeping our life ticking over, and that that person has to be her because there is no denying that I threw the punch which killed Angus. But she is wrong, she hasn’t seen the problem right through to the end and her confusion is written all over her face. I know that tomorrow, when I sit where she has sat today, I have one chance to save her, one chance to make everything all right again.