Our Kind of Cruelty(73)

‘Did you go downstairs?’

‘Not at first, no. We were scared. But then Verity arrived in a taxi and went running up the path and we could hear her screaming so I went outside. Lottie tried to stop me, but I had to help.’

‘And what did you find?’

Kaitlyn touched her finger to her lip. ‘It was horrible. Mr Metcalf was lying just inside the door, covered in blood, not moving at all. But the strangest thing was that Mike and Verity were standing just behind him, embracing.’

‘I know Mr Jackson made a lot of this when he questioned you, Miss Porter, but to be clear, when you say embracing what do you mean? Were they kissing?’

‘They weren’t kissing, no. I could only see Verity’s back. She was leaning against Mike and he had his arms wrapped tightly around her.’

‘Where were her arms?’

Kaitlyn thought for a moment. ‘By her side I think. But I’m not sure.’

‘So she wasn’t returning his embrace, as you put it.’

‘I don’t know. But whatever, it was really strange. I mean, her husband is on the floor dying or dead and she’s allowing the man who killed him to hug her.’ And of course Kaitlyn couldn’t understand this. No one will ever understand V and me, which is what makes us so wonderful.

‘Is it possible that she was in a state of shock?’

‘I don’t know. I can’t imagine how it could be seen as normal behaviour however you want to say it.’

Petra looked down at her notes and I saw her neck had blotches of red on it. ‘I put it to you, Miss Porter, that you are in love with Mr Hayes and therefore jealous of Mrs Metcalf. That you know you saw a woman in a state of shock, being taken advantage of by a delusional man, but your personal feelings have coloured your testimony.’

Kaitlyn laughed lightly. She shook her head. ‘No, you’re completely wrong. When I said I stay with Lottie a lot, that’s because we’re partners. She’s my girlfriend. I can assure you I have no feelings of those types for Mike. And I have no feelings whatsoever for Mrs Metcalf.’

I felt myself blushing as she said the words, a strange shame seeping through me at my arrogance. At my inability to see the signs. Maybe there will never be pictures in clouds for me.

Petra coughed, but Kaitlyn stood firm, her eyes level.

I felt a strange sensation rise through my body as I flicked through all the times Kaitlyn and I had spent together, all the things she’d said, all the fleeting touches, all the half-sentences. Knowing this truth about her and Lottie altered it entirely. What I had interpreted as love on her part had really been friendship, concern. The sensation flipped in my stomach and passed out through my head, leaving me feeling dizzy. I had got so much wrong, I had misunderstood Kaitlyn in almost every way, and the thought was terrifying.



It was V’s turn to take the stand yesterday, which means we are here at the moment I have been turning over in my head. I must testify tomorrow and I only have tonight to make my final decision. To separate wrong from right, truth from lies, fact from fantasy. I must separate and then rearrange and do what is right for only V and me.

She was wearing the same black suit, this time with a pale blue shirt. She had flat ballet pumps on her feet, her hair tied in a low ponytail and no make-up on her face. There were simple pearls in her lobes and naturally the eagle hung around her neck, its silver brilliance resting peacefully in the hollow at the bottom of her throat, between her delicate collar bones. She was very pale and because she has lost so much weight her bones jut out of her face, making her look harsher than usual. My heart sped at the sight of her, so small and delicate, as she stood inside the giant witness box. Fear struck at me with the thought that this strategy is perhaps too much and maybe V is too delicate to handle all the scrutiny.

I remembered her suddenly in all those bars, when I’d felt she was a butterfly surrounded by flies. And fast on the heels of that thought came the next: if we do both end up in prison she will be surrounded by flies for years, except I won’t be physically able to save her. I won’t even be able to see her. The thought lodged in my throat and I couldn’t pull my breath into my lungs so I started to feel light-headed. I shut my eyes and counted to ten. I have to banish the bad thoughts and instead focus on the thought of her packed away like a precious jewel, ready and waiting to be taken out again when the time is right.

‘Mrs Metcalf,’ Petra began. ‘Perhaps you could start by telling the court about the history of your relationship with Mr Hayes.’

It looked like it was painful for V to take a breath. I knew where Suzi and Colin were sitting and I saw her glance up at them briefly before she began. ‘We met at Bristol University, during our second year. We started dating and after we graduated we moved to London and rented a flat together. He went to America six years later and I stayed on in London. We carried on a long-distance relationship, but we didn’t see much of each other because of work and it became a bit strained between us. I ended the relationship about thirteen months ago.’

‘Was it a happy relationship, before the end?’ She was keeping her movements relaxed today.

‘Yes,’ V said. ‘We were very happy for the first eight or so years. It only turned towards the end, I’d say the last six months.’

‘And why would you say that was?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe the distance? Or maybe we grew apart a bit?’