One Night on the Island(98)

They say you have a second brain in your gut, and despite trying to drown it with all of those unsuitable cocktails, my gut knew I was living the wrong life. It tried to tell me, but I couldn’t hear it over the day-to-day chaos I’d surrounded myself with. And then I came here to this island and, little by little, I listened. A quiet suggestion of change, a nagging surety, a liberating relief. I’m the kid who hung around to help the school librarian unpack the books, fanning the pages to inhale the smell. I’m the teenager who slept with her lime-green clamshell laptop under her pillow every night. And now I’m all grown up, and I’m a novelist, spinning words into worlds, living exactly the life I was meant for. Still on my island. Still in the lodge. It’s mine now, as if it was always here waiting for me to find it.

What am I going to do now? Drink coffee on the porch and watch the stars. The American (remember him? Big red coat and a ridiculous head torch?) is due here in a few days so I’m soaking up the space and the silence before he’s sitting beside me on the steps again, no chalk line required.

What am I going to do after he leaves? More of the same, I expect, until it’s time to haul anchor and turn my sails in a different direction.

Thank you, Emma Watson. Thank you, Bruce Springsteen. You both changed my life more than you could possibly know.

I let my gut be my compass and it led me home. Listen to yours too.

Cleo x

Cleo Wilder’s debut novel, Dearly Beloved Me, is out on Thursday in all good bookshops.





Acknowledgements





Thank you to my exceptional editor, Katy Loftus.

Thanks also to Vikki Moynes for your generous support and editorial help. I’m really lucky to be surrounded by brilliant people – thank you Harriet Bourton, Georgia Taylor, Ellie Hudson, Leah Boulton, Karen Whitlock and everyone at Penguin UK, especially the formidable Rights Team.

Huge thanks to my dynamo US editor, Hilary Teeman, I’ve been so bolstered by your help, guidance and encouragement. Gratitude also to Caroline Weishuhn and everyone at Ballantine; I’m so thrilled to continue this ride with you guys.

Thanks to my wonder agent Nelle Andrew for your steady hand on the wheel; here’s to many more adventures on the publishing high seas.

My family are my everything, love you all for ever.

I often turn to my Facebook friends if I get stuck, so thank you all for humouring me and answering my random questions!

Maya and Sally, my writing wing-women and crisps-for-breakfast bezzies – love you both lots.

My Bob-land sisters – almost twenty years together! We’re definitely the best internet coven around.

Last but never least, a million thanks to my readers, I’m truly indebted.