One Night on the Island(94)

She laughs. ‘Good red wine and Italian meals, so far.’

Now I’m over the shock, I’m glad to hear about Anthony’s arrival on the scene. Mum deserves more than to live her life through her children and her grandchildren.

‘Mack’s invited me to the opening of his exhibition in a couple of weeks,’ I say. ‘In Boston.’

‘I saw it on the fridge,’ she says. ‘You should go.’

I look at her, surprised by her directness. ‘You think?’

‘Well, why not? You’ve sent your manuscript off now, the timing fits.’

‘It’s not just about timing,’ I say. ‘His whole life is there.’

‘He wouldn’t have sent you an invite if he didn’t want you to go,’ she says, reasonable.

‘Maybe,’ I say. ‘Or maybe it was a moment of weakness he already regrets. He didn’t reply to my NYE text, but then someone has to be the one who hangs up for the last time, don’t they? It’s a fitting date to underscore the end. Maybe he’s happy with his family again and wants us to be friends? Or perhaps he’s lonely and it’d be nice for him to have me around, but at what cost for me, Mum? I’m in a good place here.’ I splay my hands out towards the bay. ‘And I’m in a good place in here.’ I tap my fingertips against my forehead. ‘I’ve stumbled across magic here. I’m not ready to give that up on the off-chance of love.’

‘Cloudy with a chance of love,’ she says. ‘Like the film.’

‘That’s meatballs, Mum.’

‘And suddenly we’re back to Anthony again.’ She shoots me a coquettish look I don’t think I’ve ever seen on her before.

‘I’m going to try very hard to forget you said that,’ I laugh, pulling a face.

‘Think hard about Boston,’ she says. ‘Regrets get heavier as you get older.’

I nod. I’ve been thinking about it on and off since the invitation arrived.

‘Come on,’ I say. ‘Time we called it a night.’

I stand and give her a hand up, pulling her into a hug. ‘I’m so glad you came,’ I tell her.

‘I’m glad you came here too,’ she says.

I’m gratified she can see how much Salvation has changed me. I pick up our glasses and follow her inside, my eyes lingering on the invitation pinned to the fridge before I turn out the lamps.





Mack





26 February


Boston


OPENING NIGHT


So many of my important people have made the effort to be here tonight. Susie and the boys, Walt and Marie, my mom and my gran, my best friend, Daryl, and his wife, Charlotte. Their faces are welcome beacons in the gathered crowd, soothing my opening-night anxiety.

‘I’m really very proud of you today, son.’

Walt shakes my hand, his other hand a reassuring weight on my shoulder. He’s not a shirt-and-tie guy but he’s made the effort tonight, probably harassed into his navy sports jacket by Marie.

‘Well, I had a good teacher,’ I say.

The glint in his eye tells me he appreciates the compliment. Things between us are mostly good, if a little awkward sometimes. I know how hard it’s been for Susie’s folks to navigate the breakdown of their only child’s marriage; I’m grateful for their presence tonight, for the boys as much as myself. It tells them good things about the fluidity of our family, that even if the shape of things changes, the bonds that hold us all together are unbreakable.

‘Nate tells me you’re on the move,’ Walt says.

I nod. ‘Somewhere with a yard for the boys,’ I say. Somewhere that doesn’t suck my soul, I think.

‘You know where I am if it needs any fixing up,’ he says.

‘I appreciate that,’ I say, trying not to choke up. Walt’s the guy who taught me how to hold a camera, but he’s also the guy who taught me how to be a father. He’s still teaching me, even now. Susie’s parents know about Robert, and she’s probably told them there’s been someone else for me too, but they haven’t taken it upon themselves to judge or offer unsolicited advice. They’re just steadfast, which is about the most valuable thing they could be when everything else is sliding around on a listing ship. Susie appears beside her father, beautiful in a simple black dress.

‘Daddy, you’re monopolizing the star of the show.’ She laughs, linking her arm through Walt’s as she catches my eye and offers me a fragile smile. We’ve been in a strange place in our relationship since our kiss on Christmas Eve. She ended things with Robert a while ago, and I know she’s disappointed about my move from the condo to somewhere more permanent. We’ve been out for a few family days since New Year, movie theatre trips and the zoo, but I can’t define my own feelings and I’m not sure about hers. Every decision is skewed by the boys; what’s good for me isn’t necessarily what’s good for them, it’s a difficult puzzle to get right. And I have to get it right. My dad got it very wrong with me as a kid and it left me feeling like a thrift-store puzzle with missing pieces.

‘Mack, I think Phil’s looking for you to make your speech.’ Susie steers Walt away, turning back to look at me over her shoulder. ‘Good luck.’ She holds her crossed fingers up and I realize she’s wearing her wedding ring again. She sees me notice, and her blue eyes say things she can’t voice in this packed room with her father standing beside her.