Off the Deep End (41)
“The part that’s difficult to wrap my brain around is why you didn’t experience that connection before. You said yourself that you’d known Isaac since he was a baby. Wouldn’t you have felt the connection then?”
I shrug. “I’m new to all this. I don’t know how all these cosmic things work, and I don’t expect you or anyone else to either. I don’t think we can understand them in a linear or logical fashion like we do most things. There wasn’t any connection between Isaac and me previously. But that night on the lake woke us up to each other. That’s when we remembered.”
The force drawing me toward him had been incredibly powerful from his very first visit in the hospital. Just this strong gravitational pull. It was almost hypnotic. I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life. I doubt I ever will again. You only have one soul mate.
Dr. Stephens doesn’t look convinced. “But the two of you didn’t start your relationship until after you met at the hospital, right? Isn’t that what you told me? You said you hadn’t seen him since the funeral.”
“Yes, I hadn’t seen him since the funeral.” He’s starting to get irritating. This is why I don’t bother explaining how it was with us. Nobody understands. Sometimes Isaac couldn’t even wrap his brain around the magnitude of it.
“But why not? If that night on the lake is what woke the two of you up together, then why wait to start spending time together until months down the line? Why wouldn’t you hang out together right away?”
“Because of Gabe.” Is he stupid?
“I don’t understand.” He might be if he still doesn’t get it.
“Isaac might’ve been my light, but it didn’t change the fact that I was grieving. I plunged into the darkness afterward, and you can’t see anything when you’re covered in pitch black. That’s what it was like in the months following the accident.” I already told him that. At our very first meeting when he asked me about Gabe. I’d explained how everything got turned off, and nothing else mattered, or it was insignificant. I was unreachable. I would’ve died there in that pit. Until Isaac.
“He shone the light, and it penetrated my darkness.” The realization dawns on me as the words fall into the room for us to dissect that that’s the reason I could never connect with Shane after the accident. He couldn’t get into my darkness. He was always outside it. From the very beginning. I was in my tailspin, and he was in his, but we were never in it together.
“Can we get back to the hair? We’re going to break soon, and I don’t want to forget about it. It’s a really important piece.” It’s an abrupt shift and definitely not the smoothest transition. We must be running out of time.
“Well, first of all, it was for Isaac.” I motion to his briefcase. He carries it with him every time he comes but never sets it on the table. It stays next to him, and he grabs the stuff he wants out of it as we go along. “I’ve read that report in there too.”
He looks surprised. “You have?”
“The restraining order one? Yeah, I have. Why wouldn’t I read the report, especially when it’s about me?”
“I just thought . . . I don’t know . . . it might be hard to get a copy . . . ,” he offers weakly.
I shake my head. “It wasn’t hard.” Patients are always entitled to any kind of reports written about them. All you have to do is ask. “I thought it was really interesting to read what Amber thought of me. All of this is because of her, you know.”
“All of what?”
I motioned back and forth between us. “You. Me. This.”
“I can see how you might think that, but Amber isn’t in charge of this investigation. The Falcon Lake Police Department and the FBI are the ones calling the shots.” A pinched expression takes over his face. He’s trying to hide his annoyance. “The hair?”
“Oh yeah, right. The hair.” He’s not letting that one go, is he? Are they trying to match my hair with something? “I knew Isaac would know what it meant since he’s the one who told me about it in the first place. How hair symbolizes a person’s soul, so giving someone your hair is like giving someone a piece of your soul. It’s a beautiful symbolic gesture and one of the reasons witches use it in their spells. Some people also offer it as a symbol of putting your protection and care around someone.” I lay my hands on the table. At least this part is easy to explain to him. “It’s really simple. I sent it to him because I wanted him to know that I was thinking about him and I was there for him no matter what.”
“That seems nice, but didn’t you also send it to him at a time when they’d asked you not to have any contact with Isaac?” He changes his voice to quote from the report. I swear he’s memorized the entire thing. “The hair felt threatening and caused us to worry about our safety.” He pauses at the end to give me a chance to respond.
I snort. This is all so ridiculous. Overblown and exaggerated by people who’ve probably never felt or experienced real love.
“The Greers didn’t really care about the hair. They made it into a much bigger deal than what it was, like they did with everything when it came to my relationship with Isaac. The truth is that they were just really freaked out by our relationship, and they didn’t want us spending any more time together. They—”