Off the Deep End (39)
All my angry words quickly flashed through me. The way I’d waved my fist in her face as I shouted that I knew she took Isaac and the cops did too. That it was only a matter of time before they found out everything about her. How I’d make sure she got the harshest punishment.
Detective Hawkins had arrived within seconds of me going at Jules. He’d come up the stairs right as Ruth Ann was pulling me off her. Another staff member had stepped away to call Detective Hawkins the moment I’d shown up on the doorstep asking to speak with Jules.
“You might’ve just jeopardized our investigation. Thrown away everything we’ve worked so hard for. I know you think you know what you’re doing in all this, but let me set you straight—you have no idea what you’re dealing with. Stop trying to do my job for me, understand?” He locked eyes with me in the rearview mirror.
“Why didn’t you tell me all that before? It would’ve made me feel so much better to know that you were actually taking me seriously. Hell, that you were looking at her that seriously. That’s all I wanted.” It had seemed like he was on Mark’s side. Not that there were actual sides, but there was no way to avoid feeling like that when you had opposing viewpoints.
He cracked the window at the light, and for the first time since we’d gotten inside, I could get a good breath of air in my lungs. Some of the tension released in my back, and I didn’t feel like I was going to throw up anymore.
“I’ve been honest with you since day one that we are exploring every lead possible when it comes to Isaac’s case. I shouldn’t have to say anything more than that because I mean what I say, and I say what I mean. That’s just the kind of guy that I am.” He hadn’t taken his eyes off me. “And look, I’m going to be honest with you and let you know that we don’t tell you everything. Only what you need to know. And for this very reason. Parents are too emotional. They can’t detach enough to think straight, and they’re too close to the situation. Anything can set them off”—he paused and gave me a pointed look—“and we can’t risk the investigation.”
I hung my head in shame. How badly had I screwed things up? Did she really not think they were looking at her as a person of interest in Isaac’s disappearance? She had to know that’s one of the main reasons they were talking to her, right? She couldn’t be that delusional, could she?
“I’m sorry,” I said again, except this time I was apologizing for real.
“This is all I do”—he motioned to the squad car like it was his office—“and I do it well. I’m not trying to brag, but that’s the truth. They called me down to Falcon Lake because I’m one of the best at finding missing kids, so that’s why I’m the one in charge and you’re not. I’m just letting you know how things are done so we’re clear about how things are going to be moving forward.”
I nodded in agreement. At least he wasn’t mad at me anymore. Did Mark know what I’d done? What was he going to say about it? “I didn’t think any of it through. I just want to find him and bring him home.”
“Parents lead with their hearts. They can’t help it. That’s how it is in every single investigation, and believe me, every single parent thinks they’ll be the one to solve the case and that they’ll be able to be objective without letting their emotions get involved. They all think that. I’m sure you do, too, but let me set you straight. It’s impossible to do, so don’t even try. You’re too close to this thing. You can’t see clearly when you’re looking through broken pieces.”
I nodded again.
“Good.” He gave me a clipped nod back. “You can’t do anything like that ever again, do you understand me?”
“Yes, I do.” I took another deep breath. No matter what I promised, I was going to do whatever it took to find Isaac.
CASE #72946
PATIENT: JULIET (JULES) HART
“I heard Amber showed up here last night,” Dr. Stephens says, not wasting any time getting started on our session. He didn’t bring me any coffee this morning, and I’m bummed. Did he take it away as punishment? That’s mean. You can’t bring a girl a cup of coffee one day and not bring her one the next. This isn’t the best way for us to start our day.
Day four. That’s how long we’ve been at this. It feels like forty. Is it ever going to end?
“She did,” I say, not freely offering up any more information than that, knowing that it will bug him, but I’m so over all this. Nobody’s going to find Isaac this way.
“How’d that go?” He spares the “can you tell me more about that” and gets right down to what he wants to know. I wish he’d do more of that and skip all the unnecessary rapport building and trying to be nonjudgmental and supportive no matter what. That’s not what we do in our time together anymore because we’re long past pretending this is any kind of regular client-patient relationship.
“It was pretty weird seeing as she attacked me, and she’s the one who has a restraining order on me.” After the police left last night, Ruth Ann told me that Amber had snuck into the building when she wasn’t looking. She’d seemed so shocked that Amber had been able to do it, but I’m not. It’s easy to get people into the house undetected. People do it all the time. Chelsea and the woman across the hallway are always sneaking their boyfriends in on the weekends. “She totally freaked out on me. Like big-time freak-out. Came at me like she wanted to choke me and everything. For a second, I thought she was going to throw me down the stairs.” I give him a big grin. “Afterward, all the clients that were around to see it kept asking me who the woman was, and when I told them, all they did was laugh and be like, ‘I think you might need to get a restraining order on her.’ It was so funny.”