My Husband's Wife(18)

‘Bit of a rum one, isn’t he?’

‘In what way?’

‘You know. Arrogant. Always acting as if everyone else is beneath him. Cold fish, too. Still, at least he hasn’t given us any trouble. Not like the other one.’ The officer is smiling nastily as though trying to scare me.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Didn’t you hear? One of the boys went for his solicitor the other day. Didn’t hurt him. Just gave him a fright.’ His face hardens. ‘But if your lot are intent on defending murderers and rapists, what can you expect?’

‘What do you do for a living, then?’ asks the man who has just sat down next to me (‘Do you mind?’).

I’m perched on the edge of a lime-green sofa in Davina’s Chelsea flat with its rose-pink walls and soft lighting. Music is playing loudly and my stomach is rumbling. ‘Don’t bother to cook before we go,’ Ed had declared. ‘There’ll be food at the party.’ But there are merely mushroom vol-au-vents and wine. Lots of it. My new companion appears pleasant and easy to talk to. It’s just that right now the last thing I want to do is talk.

‘I’m a lawyer,’ I reply.

He nods, in deference. It’s a gesture, I’ve noticed, that many people use when I tell them what I do. Sometimes it’s flattering. At other times, it’s almost demeaning, as if they assume a woman isn’t capable of such a job.

Four hours ago, I was in prison. Now I’m surrounded by people chatting loudly and getting drunk. Some are even dancing. It seems weird.

‘What about you?’ Even as I speak, I’m not really interested in the answer. What I really want to know is where Ed has gone. I didn’t want to come here. In fact, I didn’t know anything about it until I got home and found my husband at the door wearing his new cream collarless shirt. The smell of pine aftershave was strong. ‘We’re going out.’

My heart lifted. The last couple of weeks had been difficult, yes. But my new husband wanted to take me out!

‘Davina rang. She’s having some of the old crowd round and wants us too.’ He ran his eye over my navy lawyer suit. ‘Better get changed.’

And now, here we are. Me in my pale-blue sprigged M&S dress. And Davina in a clingy, bright red skirt. An outfit that clearly caught my husband’s attention – much more than mine – when she welcomed us in. That was over an hour ago. Where is she? And where is Ed?

‘I’m an actuary.’ My companion’s voice cuts into my thoughts.

‘Sorry?’

There’s a rueful grin. ‘Don’t worry. Lots of people don’t know what it is. I work out how long people have to live from statistics. How many people are likely to choke to death or get leukaemia before they’re sixty. Cheery stuff, I know, but it’s important, you see, for insurance.’ He puts out his hand. ‘The name’s Ross. Nice to meet you. I know your husband. In fact …’

There they are! I almost leap off the sofa, and make my way towards Ed. His face is flushed and I smell wine on his breath. ‘Where’ve you been?’

‘What do you mean?’ His voice is defensive, abrupt. ‘I just went out to get some air.’

‘You didn’t tell me?’

‘Do I have to tell you every time I leave a room?’

Tears prick my eyes. ‘Why are you being like this?’

A different Ed from the one I curl up with on the sofa stares at me. ‘Why are you being like this?’

Because I can’t see Davina, I want to say. But that would be stupid.

‘Because I couldn’t see Davina,’ I hear myself saying.

Ed’s face hardens. ‘And you thought she and I were together.’

My heart skips a beat. ‘No. I didn’t mean …’

‘Right. That’s it.’ He grabs my arm.

‘Wait – what …?’

‘We’re going.’ He pulls me towards the door.

‘But I need my coat,’ I protest.

People are watching us – including Davina, who is walking into the room, arm in arm with a much older man I hadn’t seen before.

‘Leaving already?’ Her voice is silky smooth. ‘What a shame. I wanted to introduce you to Gus.’ She gazes up at her companion adoringly. ‘I must apologize for not being a very good hostess. But Gus and I have been … busy.’

Ed’s hand grips mine so hard that it hurts. Then he releases me and moves away. ‘Lily’s got a headache.’

No I haven’t, I almost say. But I hear myself thanking her for a lovely time and am appalled at how easy it is for the lie to escape so smoothly. ‘You must come to us, next time,’ I add.

Davina’s eyes sparkle with amusement. ‘We’d love that. Wouldn’t we, Gus?’

Then she walks up and nestles her head in the spot between my husband’s arm and chest. It’s a smooth, natural gesture, reminding me that they had once dated. She smiles at me. See, she seems to say, I had him long before you.

Appalled, I wait for Ed to move away. But for a minute he just stands there as if weighing up his options.

I want to say something. But I’m too scared of the consequences. Thankfully, Gus breaks the uneasy silence that has fallen, despite the music around us. ‘I think we ought to let the newly-weds go. Don’t you?’