My Husband's Wife(14)

It seems to reassure the teaching assistant. Even though perhaps it shouldn’t.

‘Let’s go,’ I say. ‘We’ll get a cab to the hospital. Want me to drop you off somewhere?’

She declines, although the offer seems to appease her further.

It occurs to me that it would be very easy to take a child if the circumstances were favourable.

‘My name’s Lily,’ I say after the woman has gone and I’ve slipped a note under the door of number 7 to tell Carla’s mother what has happened. ‘You know you shouldn’t really talk to strangers.’

‘Charlie said it was all right.’

‘Who’s Charlie?’

She brings out a green pencil case from under her jumper.

How sweet! I had a wooden one when I was at school, with a secret drawer for the rubber.

‘What happened to your eye exactly?’

The child looks away. ‘It was a mistake. He didn’t mean it to happen.’

‘Who made a mistake, poppet?’

But even as I ask the question, I hear voices.

The jury made a mistake, Joe Thomas had said.

There’s got to be a mistake, my mother had sobbed when we found Daniel.

Is this a mistake? I’d asked myself as I’d walked down the aisle.

No more mistakes, I say to myself, as I take Carla into our flat to call the local taxi firm.

From now on, I’ve got to be good.





6


Carla


‘Who made a mistake, poppet?’ said Lily with the golden hair as they went into number 3. Her voice was very clear. Like one of those actresses on television. Posh, Mamma would have called it.

‘Kevin. A boy in my class. He threw a ball at me.’

Carla nuzzled Charlie’s fur. It felt warm and cosy against her skin. She glanced around the flat. It was the same shape as theirs but there were more pictures on the walls. Untidier, too, with pieces of paper on the kitchen table and a pair of brown shoes underneath, suggesting that someone had forgotten them. They looked like they belonged to a man, with those thick soles and laces. Shoes, Mamma always said, were one of the most important weapons in a woman’s wardrobe. When Carla said she didn’t understand, Mamma just laughed.

‘If your mother isn’t at work, where do you think she might be?’

Carla shrugged. ‘Maybe with Larry, her friend. Sometimes he takes her out for lunch near the shop. She sells nice things to make women beautiful.’

‘And where is this shop?’

‘A place called Night Bridge.’

There was a smile as if she’d said something funny. ‘Do you mean Knightsbridge?’

‘Non lo so.’ When she was tired, she always lapsed into Italian, even though she tried to make Mamma speak English at home.

‘Well, we’ve left her a note to say where we are. The taxi will be here in a minute.’

Carla was still stroking the soft green fur. ‘Can Charlie come too?’

‘Of course it can.’

‘He can. Charlie’s a he.’

The woman smiled. ‘That’s nice.’

See, whispered Charlie. Told you we’d find a way.

They were nice to her at the hospital. One of the smiley nurses gave her a barley sugar that stuck to the roof of her mouth. Carla had to put her finger in to poke it out. Mamma didn’t allow her to have sweets at home unless Larry gave them to her. They made you fat like cakes and then you wouldn’t get a boyfriend to pay the rent.

She hoped the golden-haired woman wouldn’t tell.

‘Think of something nice and it won’t hurt as much,’ her new friend said, holding her hand as the nurse put something stingy on her eyebrow.

So Carla thought of her new friend’s name. Lily! So pretty! When Larry came to visit, he sometimes brought lilies. Once, her mother and Larry had danced so hard when she was in bed that the lilies fell on to the ground and stained the carpet bright yellow. When she’d come out to see what had happened, Larry said it was ‘nothing’. He’d arrange for it to be cleaned. Maybe he’d arrange for Mamma’s blouse to be mended too. The top three buttons had lain scattered by her feet like little red sweets.

She told Lily this story as they got into the taxi to go home. They went a long way back because the driver said there was something called a diversion.

Lily was quiet for a while. ‘Do you ever see your daddy?’ she asked.

Carla shrugged. ‘He died when I was a baby. Mamma cries if we talk about him.’ Then she looked out of the window at the flashing lights. Wow!

‘That’s called Piccadilly Circus,’ said Lily.

‘Really?’ Carla pressed her nose against the window. It was beginning to drizzle. She could pretend that her nose was running with rain. ‘Where are the lions?’

‘Lions?’

‘You said it was a circus. I can’t see any lions or ladies in skirts walking on wires.’

There was a muffled sound of laughter. It was like the noise that Mamma made when Larry visited. Carla always heard it through the wall that divided her bedroom from Mamma’s.

‘Don’t laugh like that! It’s true. I know what circuses look like. I’ve seen pictures in books.’

Maybe she shouldn’t have shouted. Lily’s smile had become a straight line now. But instead of being cross, like Mamma when Carla did something she shouldn’t, she looked kind and gentle and nice.