Miles Ever After (Miles High Series)(37)

I close my eyes. Please, please, please.

“Unfortunately in this instance the test is negative.”

My heart sinks.

“Thanks for calling,” Elliot replies before hanging up.

Elliot kisses my temple, “Next month, babe.”

I smile sadly, I really thought it was this month. “Yep.”

“Do you want a coffee?” he asks as he stands.

“Yes please.”

He walks off into the kitchen and I stare at the phone and exhale heavily, I can’t help but be disappointed.

It’s fine. It’s just one month…so what? We go again next month.

It’s fine.





Six months later.


“Give me the phone and you go outside.” Elliot smirks.

I pass him the phone as it rings.

I can’t even be in the room for the phone calls anymore; it stresses me out too much and I nearly have a heart attack.

This is the month.

Six rounds of IVF and six disappointments. This one is lucky because it’s number seven, our lucky number.

I go outside and go for a walk down to the bottom paddock and visit Humphrey, our ram. He broke one of his horns attacking the fence post so we’ve been keeping a close eye on him. That will teach him not to be a psychopath.

Gretel is pregnant again; seems Billy just has to look her way and she’s up the duff.

If only.

I linger outside with my heart in my throat, I keep looking up to the house expecting to see Elliot come out to find me, because I know if he has good news he will.

But he’s not coming…and I know the results would be out by now.

I sit down on a rock and stare out over the farm. My chest is tight with a sense of dread, this is the one thing we cannot control.

And it’s fucking hard.

Infertility doesn’t discriminate, no matter how in love you are, how much of a great parent you’d make, what you earn or where you live.

It hits you like a truck, steals your heart and makes you feel like a failure.

I want a baby so badly that it hurts.

What if we never get one?

My eyes well with tears and I stare into space, eventually Elliot sits down on the rock beside me.

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t have to.

We both sit on our rock in silence, together but alone, lost in our own world of regret.

Mourning another failed attempt but grateful that we have each other.

This sucks.





Elliot


Jameson puts his head around the door, “You want to grab some lunch.”

I exhale heavily, “I can’t, I’ve got to do something.”

“Such as?” He walks in, his interest piqued.

I open the top draw to my desk and hold up the specimen jar, “I’ve got to blow into this fucking cup.”

Jameson chuckles, “Sounds romantic.”

“Trust me, it’s not.” I roll my eyes, “I’m sick of this shit.”

“Do you want me to bring up some cocky boys for you on your computer?”

I fake a smile, “Gay porn is not going to get the job done.”

“Then I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

“You can’t.” I hear Kate say from the door, “But I can.”

“Hi Jay,” Kate smiles as she walks in, she’s wearing a trench coat and I have a sneaking suspicion that she has nothing on underneath it.

I feel my cock twinge in appreciation.

“Ahh, the calvary has arrived to help me with my errands.” I smile as I pull her down onto my lap.

Jameson smirks, “I’ll leave you to it.”





Kate


I sit on the step.

The sun is rising and Elliot is dressed in his killer suit, coffee in hand walking around the lake.

His gang of ducks waddling behind him.

Every now and then he will stop still as he looks around and he says something to them and I smile as I watch on.

What does he say?

It’s always magical here but mornings are something special, it really does become enchanted.

We are so blessed.





Eighteen months later.


The grand ballroom is alive with laughter, we are at a charity ball.

Elliot is wearing a black dinner suit and I am pimped up to the nines, my hair is out and full and I’m in a black sexy dress with sky high stilettos. I used to loathe these things but now not so much, it gives us a chance to get dressed up and go on a fancy date.

Let’s face it, anytime Elliot Miles puts on a dinner suit it’s a gift to the world.

He runs his hand up my thigh under the table and gives me the look.

He’s so fucking gorgeous I can’t stand it.

We’ve had dinner, he’s spun me around the dance floor and dessert is just about to be served.

“So when are you two going to have a baby?” the woman across the table asks.

My stomach drops.

And there it is, the question on everyone’s lips.

“Not yet,” Elliot replies curtly.

We hardly know her. Why does she think it’s okay to ask such a personal question?

I fake a smile as my heart sinks. I want to crawl under the table and hide from the world.