Love Me (WITSEC #3)(30)

He captured the sides of my face. “Take a deep breath.”

I couldn’t.

The clock was ticking.

I was running out of time.

I grabbed his wrists and squeezed. “I can’t do this. I can’t be here. He’s going to find me.” I tried to pull my face away to no avail.

“Shiloh—”

“I have to protect you,” I cut him off again. My whole body shook, and I felt like if I didn’t run away right then and there, Mr. X would see me with them.

“Shiloh!” Knox shouted.

Startled, my whole body jerked against him.

“Take a deep breath,” he ordered again.

Stunned, I did as he said.

“Again. This time in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

I did. He had me breathe like that over and over until the need to run away and the feeling of time running out began to fade. As I calmed, I realized what had happened. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

His thumbs brushed my wet cheeks. “Listen to me very carefully,” he said. “We take the possibility of X finding you very seriously. The four of us have talked about it extensively. And some of those conversations were not easy. Right after you told us you were in witness protection, the four of us had the biggest fight I think we’ve ever had. I wanted my brothers to pause things with you until we all got a better understanding of the risks.”

“Don’t take all the blame, Knox. I was the one who suggested it,” Keelan said from behind me.

Knox released my face so I could look over my shoulder. Colt, Creed, and Keelan were all standing where the kitchen transitioned into the dining room. All of them looked sullen.

Creed had his arms folded over his chest, his face downcast. “I told them to fuck off.”

“We both did,” Colt said, looking from Creed to me. “It hadn’t changed anything for us. Knowing. It had been a shock, sure. But I remember feeling we had finally gained your missing piece. The one that made all the other pieces of you make sense.”

“We had finally gotten all of you, and we weren’t going to give you up,” Creed said.

“Because of that, we argued all day that day,” Keelan said. “Until we came up with a compromise. You would continue to be in our lives, but we would take the risk of X seriously, learn as much as we could about him, and talk about our concerns.”

“One of those concerns, which required many discussions, was what we would do if X found you,” Knox said, drawing my attention back to him. “There isn’t a sure way of how to handle it if he does, but we came up with a few game plans and we’ve been doing our best to be prepared if he does.”

“Prepared how?” I asked.

“Run or fight, Shi,” Creed said, reminding me of what he’d made me promise.

I looked at all of them. “You’d run with me?”

“I wouldn’t have promised that if I hadn’t meant it,” Creed said, finally looking at me. He was mad and rightfully so.

I moved to get down from the counter and Knox stepped aside. I walked over to stand in front of Creed. “If Mr. X ever shows up, I have exit plans. I'll tell you guys all of them. I have two safe houses to run to. The closest is in Colorado. The other is in Alaska. Both are secluded. I’ll tell you exactly where they are. I have multiple passports and IDs with different names on them. I’ll show them to you.” I told all of them this, but I never stopped staring at Creed. I’d tried to break our promise. Twice. A simple I’m sorry, I won’t do it again wasn’t enough. “If we have no choice but to run and we get separated, you will know how to find me.”

Creed stared at me for the longest time and I was beginning to think I might have to grovel. Without saying a word, he unfolded his arms and hooked one around my lower back, pulling me to him. His other arm went across my shoulders, and he hugged me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered into his neck.

His response was to hug me tighter.





Later that night, we settled down watching the Food Network. A few of the shows we watched were cooking competition shows where you had to take random and odd ingredients and make a delicious meal out of them. The guys made me laugh as they really got into it.

As it got late, Knox was the first to stand from the couch and announce that he was headed for bed. I perked up, expectant of a hug or a kiss or pretty much anything extra beyond an announcement. Colt, Creed, and Keelan always kissed me somehow, be it on my mouth or forehead, when they went off to bed. Knox didn’t even spare me a glance.

I relaxed back against the couch, feeling disappointed.

“If you want to spend the night with him, you’re going to have to march in there and tell him,” Colt said. I looked at him and found him watching me.

I hadn’t slept in Knox’s room since the night he’d picked me up off my closet floor. That next morning, I’d given him my first hand job and he’d ruined it by telling me it had been a mistake.

“I don’t think he would be comfortable with that,” I said and tried to focus on the TV. I could feel all three of them staring at me, so it was hard.

“Knox is a fucking idiot,” Creed muttered as he stood from the couch. He grabbed my chin, made me look up at him, and kissed me. “I’m going to bed.”