Last on the List (Wait With Me #5)(88)

It’s been a pretty good plan. Satisfying for all parties involved…except for one little incident yesterday.

I thought for sure we were busted when I woke up in the middle of the night to find Everly staring at me while I slept. I shot out of bed and woke Cassandra up in the process who hid under the covers even though we were already caught. Everly mumbled something about Millie eating her blanket and it took me a second to realize she was sleep walking and talking.

So I gently guided my little princess back upstairs to her bed where I was happy to discover there was no goat eating anything. I tucked her in, kissed her head, and came back downstairs to stress about what we were going to tell Everly the next day. I also turned up the notification volume on my phone because my camera alerts should have told me she was coming. I’m getting sloppy.

I stared nervously at Everly while she ate her oatmeal, waiting to see if she had any comments about last night.

She remembered nothing, reminding me once again that kids are a strange breed.

But regardless of that little hiccup, sneaking around is for the best. For one, she’s still my daughter’s nanny for the next several weeks so it might feel strange for Everly to have us dating. I don’t want to spoil her summer with Cassandra by blurring the boundaries between them.

Not to mention, I’ve never introduced Everly to a girlfriend before and I have no fucking idea how that is going to go.

Also, I still can’t get a read on where Cassandra wants all this to go. She’s so chill about everything in life and as much as I love that about her, I also hate it because it leaves me feeling uncertain. I like order. I like a plan. I’d like to flash into the future and see where this whole thing ends up because the suspense of the unknown is painful. And is all this even what I want? To put myself out there with someone again? Fuck…it’s all scary as hell.

Dean shoots me an apologetic face. “I’m sorry about the nanny word. I didn’t mean anything by it. You just shocked me. I didn’t expect you to be dating her.”

“You’re the one who told me to go after her,” I retort, my brows furrowed. “Hell, you all but shoved me out of my house on poker night to go chase her down.”

“I know, but I didn’t expect it to turn into a dating thing.” Dean blinks away his shock. “You’re usually a hit and run type.”

“That’s how it started.” I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh as memories of the past few weeks circulate in my mind. So much has happened. “But then it kept going and next thing I know, we’re on my plane to Aspen so I can buy her a dress for my charity gala next weekend.”

“Holy shit,” Dean laughs, and I feel his eyes on me as he says, “Are you in love with her?”

“Why would you say that?” I pierce him with a severe look and instantly realize that I’m not denying his question, only asking him why he’s asking it—which is probably very telling.

His eyes are wide and probing as he answers, “Because you don’t date. Ever. And for you to take a chance on the person who’s your kid’s nanny means you must think she’s worth taking a risk for.” He pauses for a moment and then adds, “This is the first girl you’ve talked about seriously since I’ve known you. I have to assume she’s important.”

“She is,” I reply honestly and run my finger around the rim of my glass. “She’s like a magnet I can’t stay away from. As different as we are, I find myself craving her freestyle nature like a drug to soothe my own stress. The problem is, the timing is awful. When I close this deal with All-Out Properties, my entire life is going to change. I’ll kill myself to find quality time with Everly. Plus, Cassandra has a major past trauma with her old corporate job which means none of this meshes well together. Am I better off ending it now to save us both the pain of ending it later when I get too busy?”

Flashbacks of everything she shared with me over dinner earlier this week hit me at full force again. So much of what she said sounded eerily familiar. When I launched my company, the people who I employed worked long hours right alongside me. We were burning the candle at both ends because there was an adrenaline rush that came every time we surpassed our goals and hit the next level.

Did I pay enough attention to their health and welfare? I’m not so sure. I’m pretty sure I do a good job now. But I’m essentially starting that painful growth process all over again with this merger, and what happened to Cassandra has lit a new fear inside me for my staff members.

Two months ago, I was charged and ready for the frenzy of incorporating their business into mine. Now…I’m having second thoughts.

Dean hits me with a disbelieving look. “I thought you were a guy who likes a challenge.”

I scowl at my friend. “I think my first relationship in close to a decade constitutes as a bit more than a challenge, don’t you? This is a fucking mountain to climb.”

Dean shrugs dismissively like we’re talking about the weather, not my entire life. “Max, you’re a single dad, a well-respected boss, friend, brother, son. Hell, you even do charity work beyond what the rest of us do. Why do you think this is one thing you could fail at?”

“Because I might not be enough for her.” Those words feel heavy in my mouth as the reality of my deepest fears come to light again. The insecurity I have in the idea that even if I go all in with her, she still might want someone else. It’s happened before. I inhale deeply and add, “She’s been through a lot, and she might want someone with less burdens.”