Last Summer(77)

Suddenly, he pushes to his feet and goes to the window. Arms folded over his chest, he keeps his back to her.

“Remember when you told me we ran into each other in Reno? I don’t think I knew he was yours then.” Ella tries to explain what she’s concluded based on what she’s been told, careful not to betray her husband’s confidence. Nathan doesn’t need to know about Damien’s sterility. “Damien told me he wasn’t the father the same day as my accident. That must have been why I called you.”

Nathan crosses the room back to her. “You called me seconds before your accident. We got cut off. I was on the phone with you when . . . God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were driving. I would have told you to call me back or find someplace to park so that we could talk. I can’t stop thinking that had I simply hung up, Simon would be with us today. Don’t you see, Ella? It’s my fault he’s dead.” He’s crying now. Reaching for her, he pulls her into his arms. “I’m so sorry. About everything. Can you forgive me?”

For an instant, Ella wants to shove him away. She wants to blame him. For everything. But it’s not his fault. She’s the one who called him. She’s the one who’d been on the phone while driving and not paying attention at the intersection.

Nathan blames himself for both of his sons’ deaths. But the weight of Simon’s loss isn’t for him to carry. It’s Ella’s and Damien’s. It was their lies that got them to where they are today.

Ella steps from his embrace and looks him in the eyes. “The accident wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have called you when I was so upset and driving. I forgive you, but I never blamed you, nor will I ever. Do you think you’ll be able to forgive yourself?”

He thumbs away her tears and wipes off his own. “I’m trying.”

“Good.” Ella nods, sniffling. “That’s good.” Looking behind her, then on the floor, she grabs her bag and hefts it onto her shoulder.

He clears his throat. “You’re leaving?”

“I am. I have a plane to catch.”

“Can I see you again?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t think so.”

He closes his eyes, nodding. He doesn’t like her answer, but he doesn’t argue. She’s right, for both their sakes, and he knows it. Leaning in, he kisses her gently on the lips. “Goodbye, El.”

“Bye, Nathan.” She turns to leave, then stops. Tipping her head toward the manila folder, she says, “Read it. You’ll see how I see you.” As a man who loved his wife and as a father who gave his son the best possible life. She won’t give Nathan her love, but she can give him her words. Hopefully, through them, he’ll find the peace he seeks. The strength to reconcile with himself.





CHAPTER 34

The following day, Ella sits on the stool that gives her the best view in Lobby Bar at the ARIA Resort. She arrived late last night after leaving Nathan’s place and checked into the same room Damien had when they first met. She debated meeting at Luna’s, but the café often gets too noisy. She also considered inviting Damien home, where they could “find each other again.” In the end, Ella decided on Las Vegas. If they’re truly going to start over the right way, by being open and honest with each other, she wants to be where it all began.

This time, she’s not wearing a revealing slip dress and downing cocktails. The black crepe jumpsuit and cognac-colored wedges are casual and classy, more aligned with her tastes. The glass of ice water sitting on the cocktail napkin is a wiser choice than the bourbon on ice she could go for. She needs to keep a clear head.

Damien texted thirty minutes ago that he had landed. She hasn’t seen him in over a week and she can’t stop looking around for him. Gamblers gather at tables, tossing dice. Bells ring from slot machines. Techno music pulses like a throbbing vein through the entire floor. She feels the beat inside her rib cage. Her hand shakes when she takes a sip of water. Everything about her marriage and a future with Damien rides on this next hour.

She misses him, even aches for his embrace. She wants to see his smile and hear his voice. There’s so much she wants with Damien.

And there he is.

Ella watches him weave through the lounge chairs and her heart races. He’s taken off his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. His suit fits him perfectly and he looks so much like he did when she first saw him here four years ago. She feels as if she’s falling in love all over again.

She slides off the stool and slips her arms around him when he reaches her. “I’ve missed you,” she says, resting her cheek against his chest. She breathes in his scent, the starch of his shirt, and the Giorgio Armani cologne she gifted him on their anniversary, and her nerves settle. Just a little.

Damien takes a moment to react, but he finally wraps his arms around her. He rests his cheek on her head.

“El.” Her name is a sigh.

She wishes she could stay within the warm confines of his arms for the rest of the day, but there’s a reason she asked him to come. She moves out of his embrace and Damien looks at her, wary. “What’s going on?”

She didn’t tell him anything when she called. Only that she wanted to talk and for him to meet her in Vegas.

“Can I get you a drink, sir?”

The bartender’s timing isn’t ideal and Damien shoots him an irritated look before tipping his head at Ella’s glass. “I’ll have what she’s having.”