Last Summer(75)

“I don’t wonder. I know they wouldn’t have lasted. They argued too much.” He pauses in buttoning the shirt. “The accident was my first vivid memory. I heard what Mom said to Dad about how she didn’t love him. When a guy hears that from his wife, I dunno.” He lets his arms fall against his sides. “It’s hard to come back from that. Truth?”

“Truth.”

“I think that’s why I’ve never gotten serious with anyone until Corey. I didn’t want to find myself so hopelessly in love and wake up one morning to find out she never loved me back. Arguing’s one thing. You can always kiss and make up. Own up to mistakes and forgive. But once you stop loving the person you’ve pledged your life to? How do you come back from that? I don’t think you can.”

He turns his back to the mirror and, with a glance over his shoulder, inspects the shirt.

“When did you know you loved Damien?” he asks.

“The night we met.”

“How did you know?”

She taps her chest. “I felt it here.” Still does.

“That’s how I feel with Corey. She kind of had a rough childhood, but she’s been open with me about her past. I’ve done the same with her, and I try to be honest about everything. I don’t like keeping secrets.”

“Unlike Mom and Dad.”

“For real. Those two had communication issues. How’s everything going with you and Damien?”

Ella feels her face pale. “Fine, why?” She isn’t ready to delve into her marital problems. What would Andrew say if he knew Damien left her because she’d had an affair? Not once, but twice. That’s one secret she isn’t divulging with him.

“No reason other than you rarely bring up Mom and Dad.”

“They’ve been on my mind lately.” Hard not to have them there when her own marriage is imploding. She did exactly what her mother had done. The same could be said for Grace’s dad. Ella had a secret, and by the time she’d confessed that she genuinely wanted a child, the truth was enough to set her and Damien on course to where they are today: hurt, betrayed, and living under separate roofs.

Would she and Damien have married if she’d been honest with him from the beginning? That time at the soccer field when he asked if she wanted kids, what would he have done if she had said yes? Would he have been honest with her in return? Would he have told her he was sterile? She wonders if Andrew might be onto something. Maybe she and Damien can have a second chance if they truly start over, the right way this time, without any intentional memory suppression.

“What about kids?” she asks.

“What about them?” Andrew gives her an arm so that she can button the cuff.

“Do you want them?”

“Sheesh, Ella. We’ve only been on a few dates.”

Ella buttons the cuff on the other sleeve. “Not with Corey. In general.”

“I haven’t thought about it much. Yeah, maybe.”

“What if you found out your wife couldn’t have kids?”

Andrew turns away from the mirror to face Ella. “Can you still . . . ?” He chokes on the question.

“Yes, I can still have kids, or so I’ve been told.” Lynn had said so.

Andrew exhales with relief. “A little nephew or niece would be cool.”

His words bring on a touch of sadness. She looks briefly at the pile of shirts Andrew has yet to try on. Hopefully, one day, she can give him a nephew or niece. If she’s lucky, one of each.

“What about you, though? Would you adopt if you found out your wife couldn’t have them or if something happened to you?”

“Yes,” he says without hesitation.

“Why?”

“Simple. I’d want to experience everything I can with the woman I loved, including raising a child. Just because the kid doesn’t have my blood doesn’t mean I’d love him any less.”

Ella’s heart swells. “You’re a good man, Andrew.”

“That may be so, but I’m a lousy brother. I hate this shirt.”

“Oh.” Ella blinks, surprised. “It looks good on you.”

He shakes his head.

She gestures at the pile. “There are others you can try.”

“No. I don’t like button-downs. Sorry, but they’re not me. Be right back.” Andrew dashes from the dressing room, and less than five minutes later, he’s back. Hurriedly, he unbuttons the shirt and pulls on a black MadeWorn graphic T-shirt with the AC/DC logo.

Ella grimaces. “Really?”

Andrew beams. “Really.”

He swaps out the brown loafers Ella made him wear while trying on the designer jeans with his beat-up Converse sneakers. Thankfully, he keeps on the dark wash jeans while sorting through the blazers the stylist left in the room. Landing on a black tweed, he yanks it off the hanger and puts it on, turning to Ella, arms out.

“What do you think?”

“Nice. A little cas for dinner and jazz, you think?”

“Yeah, but this is me. Corey’s been honest about who she is and I want to do the same. No pretenses, no secrets. What she sees is what she gets, and if she doesn’t like it, well, that’s her problem.”

Ella leans back against the dressing room wall. “She’ll love it. She’ll love you and whatever you decide to do together. Good for you for being up-front with her from the get-go.”