Landon & Shay: Part Two (L&S Duet #2)(86)

He nodded. “Not on purpose, but yeah. I’d come home with my mind moving a million miles per hour, and I took my depression pills to try to slow down my thoughts. It didn’t help that I was drunk off my ass.”

“I would’ve never thought… Every time I saw you on the internet, you looked so happy.”

“The joys of acting,” he joked. “No one can tell when you’re really happy or just playing a role.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “We were already so far into post-production with my film with Sarah, and they didn’t want the overdose scandal to get out. So, they redirected the narrative and made it appear as if Sarah and I were a couple. After those pictures, I checked into an inpatient psych center like the one Karla’s at, and got back on track with my meds. I started seeing Dr. Smith again, too. It was the worst period of my life, and I had to fight like hell to come back from it, but I did.”

A heavy pit of confusion settled in the bottom of my stomach. “Why didn’t you come back to me? Why did you push me away? I would’ve understood. You could’ve explained it all to me.”

His blues looked up at me with a gentleness I hadn’t seen before. He tilted his head and shrugged. “You deserved to be happy. When I showed up to explain things, I knew I was too late. You were laughing with some guy, and I was still pretty messed up in the head. I knew if I saw you, there wouldn’t be a lot of laughing for a while. There would be a lot of pain, of struggle with you trying to hold me up while I fell apart, and I didn’t want that for you. I didn’t want to be your burden anymore.”

Some guy?

My mind started racing back to my college years, trying to pinpoint what guy he was talking about. The only guy who came to mind was Jason, and we were never anything more than friends even though he wanted more. He’d come over a few times to see if we could make something work, but nothing ever developed into more than friendship.

“Landon.” I moved in closer to him, taking his hands into mine. My forehead rested against his as his breaths brushed against my skin. “I would’ve taken our hard days over happy days with any other person in this world.”

“I know. That’s why I had to walk away. You would’ve given up your happiness to swim in my darkness, and I didn’t want that for you. I wanted to be able to give you the happy days more than the sad, so I had to walk away. I had to get right with my mind and learn how to lean on myself than lean on you. But do understand…even though I had a lot of bad days, the worst day of my life was when I had to walk away from you.”

Our hands clasped together, and I closed my eyes as his words embedded themselves into my heart and soul. I moved in even closer to the point that I was in his lap, and his hands were wrapped around me.

Our lips brushed against one another as my heart began pounding wildly within my chest. “Tell me your biggest truth, and I’ll tell you mine.” I sighed against his mouth, gentle kisses rolling against him.

“I never stopped missing you,” he confessed, his hands making small circles against my lower back. “I never stopped dreaming about you,” he whispered as his mouth moved to my neck. “I never stopped wanting you,” he promised. “And I never stopped loving you.”

“I love you, too, Landon,” I confessed, feeling so raw, exposed, and protected in his arms. “More than words, I love you. I tried to bury it. I tried to delete it from my heart, but that heart? It still beats for you. It always has, and it always will.”

“Give me another chance to prove to you that I’m man enough to care for your heartbeats?” His voice was timid and low as he locked eyes with me.

“Yes, but please…” I took a deep inhalation. “Go slow.”

Later that night, he led me to my bedroom. He undressed my body as I undressed his, and we lay naked and exposed to one another. Our truths displayed with every touch we shared. As he thrust into me that night, I felt it. I felt his warmth, his promises, and his love, and I hoped to the heavens above that he felt mine, too.





34





Shay





One Thursday morning, Greyson called and asked me to come visit Karla. I was a bit surprised when the call came through, because I was certain Karla wouldn’t want anything to do with me due to my connection with Eleanor. I headed to the clinic as soon as the call came through.

My nerves were through the roof as I walked down the hallway toward Karla’s room. When I looked into her space, I smiled as I saw her sitting at the desk with her notebook and pen, scribbling away.

I hadn’t known what she was writing, but I was happy to see her pouring words onto the page. No matter what, written word had a way to heal broken souls.

“Hey, you,” I said, making Karla look up from her notebook.

Her eyes widened with joy, and she came limping in my direction. “Hi.”

She stood in front of me for a moment, rubbing her hand up and down her arm as she stared at the floor.

I smiled. “Well, are you going to hug me or what?”

A breath pushed through her lips as if she was waiting for permission to give me a warm embrace. She wrapped her arms around me and held on tight.

“I thought you hated me,” she whispered.

“What? Why in the world would I hate you?”