Landon & Shay: Part Two (L&S Duet #2)(85)

“Yes, of course.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

He led me to the bed and offered me one of his T-shirts and a pair of shorts. It was way too big for me, but somehow it seemed to fit perfectly against my skin.

He lay down in the bed and I allowed him to wrap his arms around me. Even though I was there to make him feel better, somehow, I ended up being the one who felt safe. In his arms, I felt it happening. I felt my cold heart start to defrost, all because of the man I once loved.

The room was filled with silence, even though neither of us were sleeping. I knew his mind was running fast, and I didn’t want to blink just in case he needed me to remind him to breathe.

I didn’t know how long we’d stayed in that position, pressed against one another, quiet as night. I didn’t know how long his mind kept spinning. I didn’t know how his thoughts were being tamed. But the moment I heard his breathing calm, and realized he was sleeping, I too, faded into a slumber.





The next few days, I’d made it my responsibility to check in on Landon and make sure he was keeping his head above the water.

Shay: How’s your heart today?

Landon: Somehow still beating.

Shay: Do you need company?

Landon: It’s okay. I’m sure you’re busy.

Shay: Too bad, I’m already at your hotel door, so you might as well let me in.

As he opened it, he smiled wide. “Not going to lie, I’m pretty happy you’re here.”

Me too, Landon. Me too.

We headed into his hotel room. Landon shut the door behind me as I took off my shoes. “I was planning to order takeout, sit on your couch and do nothing. If you’re down for that, I’ll make sure to order enough food for two.”

“That sounds perfect,” he said.

I raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to watch Friends?”

“Hell yeah, I want to watch Friends.” He grinned ear to ear and headed to the couch to take a seat. I grabbed my phone to order dinner and sat down beside him. We ended up ordering more Chinese food than we could’ve ever possibly eaten, and as he watched Friends, I watched him.

It felt like the olden days. When we’d eat junk food and watch Friends and forget that the world outside of us was crumbling for a little while. We’d laugh, and snuggle, and hold onto each other in order to keep our broken puzzles together.

As we sat there, Landon didn’t look like one of the world’s best actors. He looked like a regular human being, enjoying his time with me.

I pulled my knees into my chest and hugged them. “What happened to you, Landon?”

“What do you mean?”

“All those years ago… What happened to you? Why did you disappear?” He lowered his head and flinched a small bit. Obviously nervous about the question. “You don’t have to answer.”

“Yes, I do. Even though it’s still sometimes hard to bring up, I want you to know. It matters to me that you know the truth even though it’s hard to speak about.”

I shut off the television, moved in closer to him, and took his hands into mine. “I’m not going anywhere regardless of what you say. I’m here. I’m listening.”

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving against his throat, and he began speaking. “After my father passed away, I lost my way, but I tried to pretend I was fine. I didn’t want to worry people anymore. My father’s words kept playing over and over again in my head, that I’d let people down. That there was a time limit for those people who cared about my issues. That I was weak and would end up alone. So, I tried to push away my depression instead of facing it.”

He turned to face me and gave me a broken smile as he continued. “I thought if I kept working nonstop, I’d be okay. I figured if I stopped going to therapy and stopped dragging up my past, I’d be fine. I could focus on work and nothing else. I could put on a mask, appear happy to the world, and avoid dealing with the darkness inside me.”

Oh, Landon…

I knew that had to be it, but still it broke me as it happened.

“I, um, I became so good at pretending I was happy that I stopped taking my medicine. I assumed I didn’t need it and could keep the act going strong. But…it turned out I couldn’t. I remember being at a party one of the cast members was throwing. It was a stupid thing, really. All the actors were much more seasoned than me, and they were reading mean tweets that were posted about them, having a good laugh.

“Then it came my time to read my mean tweets, which I’d need looked into, and fuck…” He took a deep breath and rubbed his fingers against mine. “That was hard. Not only was I dealing with my father’s criticism, but now I had strangers around the world telling me how I wasn’t good enough, and I allowed it to crush me. ‘Landon Pace is a wannabe actor and can’t deliver a line to save his life.’ ‘The world would be better if Landon Pace wasn’t on this earth because that movie was a bomb.’ ‘Landon Pace is a piece of shit who no one would miss if he died.’ The list went on and on, and I couldn’t handle it, not without my meds, or my real people who cared about me. I went home with dark, dark thoughts. Darker than I’d ever had. Next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital bed, after having my stomach pumped.”

“Oh my gosh, Landon.” My hands shot to my chest as he unfolded the story I wasn’t ready to hear. “You overdosed?”