Just One Year(24)

“Welcome to the fucked-up-by-parents club. Have a seat. Stay a while.” I smiled and looked into her eyes. “Thank you for listening.”

“Of course. I was super worried about you all day. I’m glad you came to talk to me.”

I definitely felt better now that I’d let it out. “Me, too.”

She hesitated. “Does Veronica know?”

“No. I told her my sister died in an accident, but I haven’t told her the circumstances. I haven’t really wanted to go to this place in front of her. Not sure why. I guess I’m more comfortable in some ways around you. I don’t feel like you’re judgmental.”

She nodded. “I’m more defensive than judgmental.”

I lifted my brow. “Perhaps.”

“But seriously, Caleb, you’ll never have to worry about me judging you over this. Ever. Okay?”

I didn’t deserve her acceptance, but I took it. “Thank you, Teagan.”

I looked over at the time. It was late. Yet I had no desire to move from this spot. But considering I had made myself comfortable in Teagan’s bed, it wasn’t cool for me to stay here indefinitely.

Forcing myself up, I said, “Anyway, I’ll let you get to sleep.”

“You don’t have to go,” she countered.

I don’t want to go. But I need to.

“I’d better. It’s late.”

She got up from the bed, too. “Okay…”

We stared at each other for more than a few seconds, and I got the sudden urge to hug her. It felt like the natural thing to do after she’d let me pour out my soul.

So, I did.

The moment I leaned in, she fell into me, welcoming it. Her soft breasts pressed against my torso. The nonjudgment she spoke of manifested itself through her touch. In her arms, I felt truly accepted. It felt good. Too good. Too good as in “more than a friend” good. “More than a friend” great, in fact. Thus, dangerous.

Her heart beat against me, and I was sure she could feel mine beating as well. The top of her head was right against my chest. I took a long whiff of her hair and forced myself back.

We looked at each other for a few seconds more before I waved and walked out of the room.

As I went upstairs, my heart continued to race.





CHAPTER NINE




* * *



TEAGAN



Even after a few days, I couldn’t get Caleb’s admission out of my mind. It was probably the most heartbreaking thing I could have imagined.

Then my mind would wander to the hug he’d given me. Though it was innocent, the warmth of his chest pressed against mine had lit a fire inside of me, one that still seemed to be simmering. Such a simple thing, and my body had taken it completely out of context. I wondered if he’d noticed the way my heart was beating out of control. My reaction was completely inappropriate given the sad circumstances, but I couldn’t help how attracted I was to him. Despite my not wanting to fall for Caleb, that seemed to be exactly what was happening.

I’d been hoping to run into him, but he hadn’t been around as much lately. I went upstairs to see what I could find out.

“Is Caleb home?” I asked Maura.

She shook her head. “I caught him as he was leaving for Veronica’s. He said he was going to spend the night there. He wanted to tell me so I wouldn’t worry. He’s so considerate.”

My stomach sank as I tried to seem nonchalant. “Oh. Okay. He doesn’t normally do that—spend the night there.”

“I know. Things must be getting serious between them.” Maura cocked her head. “How do you feel about that?”

“How am I supposed to feel?” I responded defensively. “Why would I feel anything about that?”

“You and he seem to get along really well. I just wondered if maybe you...”

When she hesitated, I finished her sentence. “If I have feelings for him?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, he’s obviously a very handsome guy. And I don’t know… Ever since that night I walked out and found you two making s’mores, I’ve thought there might be…something there.”

My mouth welded itself shut. I sure as hell didn’t want to admit to Maura that I had a crush on Caleb. But I feared denying it would somehow make it more obvious. So I said nothing. I was really good at that.

“You have always resisted opening up to me,” she said. “There’s not much I can do to change that because the more I try, the more you retreat. But I want to remind you again that I am on your side. You can tell me anything, and I’ll listen, Teagan. I didn’t bring Caleb up to embarrass you. I just sense something between you and thought maybe you would want to talk about it. I know it’s none of my business. You’re nineteen now—an adult. At the very least, if you won’t let me be your mother, let me be your friend.”

There was no reason I had to keep shutting Maura out. I just didn’t know how to let her in.

“I’m sorry, Maura. It’s me, not you.”

“I’ve been worried about you,” she admitted.

Because of Caleb? “Why?”

“I feel like you might be harboring your emotions since the attack. Are you sure you don’t want me to find you a therapist?”