Jade Fire Gold(85)

“Wait.” He puts a hand on the wall, blocking my path. “Hear me out. You don’t have to forgive me or talk to me. I just want you to know that I’m going with you on that ship, whether you like it or not. I promised Shīfù I would protect you. I have to do this.”

I look him in the eye. “Was keeping that promise worth it?”

Regret fills me when he pales, features contorted with pain. I found the cut left in his heart from Master Sun’s death and tore it open again, thinking it would give me pleasure. Hoping it would satisfy my spite.

But it only makes me feel worse.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I want to say. But the words don’t come out.

Altan lets his arm drop. I push him aside and barrel down the corridor, turning my head so he can’t see my tears.





The Dragon’s Triangle





36


Altan


Tall tales and rumors surround the Dragon’s Triangle. I remember hearing them as a boy: crewless ships found drifting aimlessly back to shore; sudden whirlpools sucking helpless boats into unknown depths; strange weather patterns occurring on a fair day.

I keep looking out at the perfect aqua of the Emerald Sea, waiting for something to happen. So far, the waters have been calm for the last two weeks. The gods seem to favor our passage, but as always, I question their intentions.

The boards behind me creak. Tang Wei appears, rotating her arm gingerly before bringing a hand to her ribs. The healers of the Lotus Sect are renowned, and she is healing well. Still, I questioned why she took a knife for the Life Stealer in the first place. Her answer was simple: she took the hit for Ahn, not the Life Stealer.

“How are you feeling?”

She leans her head on my shoulder. “Better.”

“Ahn?”

“Asleep. It was a quiet night.”

“That’s good,” I say, but we both know sleep is hardly a safe refuge for Ahn. We hear her screams from the nightmares that plague her. They seem to be getting worse. She makes the crew uneasy, but no questions are asked of us. Captain Yan keeps his men in check.

We watch the brightening horizon in silence, listening to the waves lapping against the ship.

“You should talk to her, you know,” Tang Wei says abruptly.

Ahn and I haven’t spoken since that brief encounter in The Scarlet Butterfly. She didn’t say anything when I showed up on board the ship. I suppose she tolerates my presence. She won’t talk to me. If her silence is a form of punishment, it is working. The distance eats into me. I hate that I care what she thinks of me. Hate that I care more than she knows. More than I realized.

“She doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Trust me, she does. You haven’t tried hard enough.” Tang Wei elbows me. “I suggest an apology, preferably one offered on your knees.”

I scoff, and then sigh when I find myself contemplating doing exactly that.

“Stubborn water buffalo.” Her brow furrows. “Do you think Ahn will be ready when the time comes? The closer she gets to the sword, the more it seems to drain her.”

I keep my doubts close. “Have some faith.”

“I’m not the one who lacks faith.” Tang Wei’s abrasive tone catches me by surprise. “I know why you didn’t tell Ahn about yourself. But if you want her to trust you again, you should trust her. Remember who she’s not. You don’t see me holding you responsible for Yuan Long’s misdeeds, and you share the same blood. This is a mess, a mess your great-grandfather started. He made the priests who they are, he ruined everything.”

Taken aback by her sudden outburst, I don’t control my tongue. “You think I don’t know that? I think about it every single day. I have to live with that, with the knowledge that the same blood that runs through my veins is the cause of all our troubles.”

She places a hand on my arm, a kinder light in her eyes. “Then stop being a self-righteous, self-absorbed, selfish brat and think about Ahn for once. How do you think it feels to be the Life Stealer? To know that the person you love thinks that you’re a monster?”

The person she—Did Tang Wei just say . . . ? No. I must have heard wrong.

The corners of her mouth twist. An odd smile, almost wistful. “Yes, I said it.”

I scowl at her.

“I did say you were predictable.” She shakes her head. “You two.”

I refuse to speak or even look at her. A beat later, she tugs at my sleeve, teasing.

“Oh, come on, Altan, you don’t fool me. Neither of you do. All your sad little yearning looks, those tortured silences, you’re both pining for each other. But you’re both too stubborn and foolish to say anything.”

“I am not pining—or tortured,” I burst out like a sullen child.

“Deny it all you want, I’m not blind, and neither is Ahn.”

The memory of Ahn standing over Tang Wei back in the forest flickers in my mind.

“Trust has to be earned,” I say quietly.

“Trust has to be granted. What do you expect her to do to earn your trust if you don’t open your mind first?”

I don’t answer. Eventually, she huffs loudly and leaves. Minutes later, the boards creak again with heavier footsteps. I can’t help but notice Captain Yan’s impressive stature when we exchange bows in greeting. The man looks to be in his forties, broad-chested with a scruff of beard and a quick smile. He bellows a command at his first mate, Ming, who’s as reedy as he is tall.