Invisible(71)

“I’m not worried about her talent,” Antonia said. “She’d roll over anyone and everyone to get what she wants. She’s all about her. It goes with her age, and she’s young. But I don’t want her to be heartless or unfeeling and selfish the way my mother was, particularly if she’s successful or becomes a big star. That can be pretty ugly. We see it in our business every day. I’m not sure you can change that, but maybe you can soften it a little. Stardom is very heady stuff. It ruins people, and lives.” He knew she was right about that too. They’d all seen it.

    “It didn’t ruin you,” he reminded her. But she was a very different woman than her mother must have been, or her daughter, as much as he liked Olympia, but he could see Antonia’s point.

“Olympia and I don’t have a lot in common. Hamish wasn’t like that either. He was a very humble man, always looking for ways to improve things for others, and focusing the attention on them. I didn’t want all that attention. I just hope that I didn’t poison my daughter with my mother’s DNA. There wasn’t much worthwhile there. She destroyed my father. He never recovered from it. He’s been an angry, bitter man ever since she left. I got a wonderful stepmother out of it in my teens. She’s not with him anymore. And I see as little of him as possible. He’s still toxic. It’s not healthy to be around people like that.” He could imagine what her childhood had been like, and was only getting a tiny glimpse of it. It explained many things about her, and how modest and self-effacing she was, and gun-shy about stardom. She was the anti-narcissist.

“I think Olympia will be okay,” he said, “with some careful guidance from you,” which she was providing.

“And a few hard knocks and tough directors to cut her down to size.” She smiled at him, and he didn’t disagree. He wasn’t totally blind to Olympia’s character as well as her talent. “Dash is a whole different story, an entirely different personality. He can’t do enough for everyone around him. He’s a gentle person, and the kindest kid I know. He’s a lot like his father.”

    “And you,” Boden added.

“It’s why he loves animals so much. Olympia gave him a hard time when they were little kids. She was always tougher than he was, even though she’s a year and a half younger. I had to keep an eye on her or she’d have steamrollered him completely. It’s who she is. And she hated me when she hit her teens, and even before that. She’s better now. But she was very precocious, and she’s been fighting to get onstage almost since she was born.

“I wanted to be behind the camera, she wants to be the whole frame, with the spotlight full on.” Boden laughed at her description of her daughter, but it was accurate. And she knew her son too. Boden liked both of them, with a special fondness for Dash, because it was easy to see what a sweet kid he was, and a little too brave, like his mother. He had proven that with the hippo. Boden could sense and understand better now that Antonia had been fighting hard battles since she was a child. It was just terrible luck that Hamish had died so soon, when she was so young. He must have seemed like a savior to her, and then he was gone in a few short years. Their happiness and his protection of her had been too brief.

“We barely had four years together,” she said when they talked about him, “married for three of them. I had just told him I was pregnant with Olympia the day he died.” Boden could sense the pain she had lived through losing him. He had experienced nothing like it himself in his lifetime. He considered himself lucky, and had lived a good life, with solid parents, even though they had lived all over the world, which he considered a rare opportunity and a gift. By the end of dinner, Antonia knew that he spoke five languages, including Hindi, which he admitted he rarely got to use. He spoke French, Italian, and Spanish too, which were more useful.

    “You’re going to have a hard time settling down to a normal life,” Antonia predicted as they walked back to the hotel.

“I think I’ve been through all that. I’ve adjusted. It’s a wonderful background to have, and very colorful, but in the end, it’s nice to stay in one place, have roots and a family and a real home. My brothers aren’t entirely wrong. I’m just not crazy about Montana. It’s a little too rural for me. You get snowed in all winter. They both married local girls. They’re nice women, but they’ve never even been to Chicago or New York. I’d have a tough time with that. But they’re happy. One has five kids, and the other one three. They don’t want to be anywhere else. They hated all our moving around. I loved it.”

“What about you?” she asked him. “Do you think you’ll stick around, or want to start traveling again?” It interested her, in light of the important position he had with her now that he had fallen into by chance, as her main assistant director. She was relying on him.

“I’m staying,” he said, and seemed as though he meant it. “Except maybe for the occasional repeat visit to my favorite places, but not to live. I love Paris, and I wouldn’t mind seeing Rome and Venice again. Other than that, New York is home now. I took a temporary apartment when I got back to the States from Canada.” He smiled at her. “I’ve been looking for something in Connecticut, which makes more sense if you keep me on in the job. There’s no point commuting, with you living in Connecticut, and your studio in Stamford. I’m searching for a small house in the area. I’d better find something soon. My lease on the furnished studio ended two weeks ago, and I’m going to be homeless when we go back.”