Invisible(66)

    She begged her mother for a part in one of her movies, which Antonia refused.

“If you’re serious about it, the first movie you’re in needs to be someone else’s. You won’t learn anything from me, but you will from someone else.” Olympia sensed that she was right, and stopped arguing about it. Antonia told her that there would be plenty of time to work together later on, if she was really intent on an acting career, as she appeared to be. Nothing would stop her if that was the case.

As hard as it was to believe, Antonia had been widowed for seventeen years by then. There had been no man in her life since Hamish, and she didn’t really want one. She never thought about it. She was busy directing films, and spending time with her children, with no time for anything else. She was forty-two years old, and she had changed very little. She was still tiny and slim with long blond hair. She didn’t feel any different, and she still missed Hamish, and was grateful for the years they had shared. She thought it would be hard to adjust to someone else by then, and didn’t want to try. She had never met a man who measured up to him. And ever since his death, she had kept well out of the public eye. She had become invisible again, which suited her better. She had no one to keep her safe except herself, so she did what felt best to her. She couldn’t imagine her life run by a man again, even one as loving as Hamish was. She had trusted him completely, but no man since.

She and Fred argued about it at times. He wished, for her sake, that she was willing to have more in her life than just her children and work, but she wasn’t. She was comfortable as she was, too comfortable, in his opinion. She always told him that a man would distract her from her work, and upset her children.

    “Your children are grown-ups, for chrissake,” he had said to her recently, when she came to his office to sign a contract.

“No, they’re not, but they’re getting there.”

“Dash is away at college, and Olympia will be out in the world next year, if she doesn’t go to college. That’s pretty damn grown up. And you’ll be alone, with nothing in your life but work. Is that what you want?”

“It’s how things worked out. I’m okay with it,” she said peacefully. She was content with her life. She treasured the three years she’d had with Hamish and knew that nothing else would ever come close to that.

“You’re still a beautiful woman, Antonia. Don’t waste it.”

“What are you suggesting? Billboards and signs on bathroom walls?” She laughed at him.

“You’re still young, for God’s sake. Enjoy it. Live it. Stop hiding. Hamish wouldn’t have wanted you to bury yourself.”

“I’m not buried or hiding, Fred. I’m just comfortable, and I’m busy.” She was, but she was also alone, with her memories of the only man she’d ever loved.

“You’re goddamn hiding and you know it, you’re invisible,” Fred said bluntly.

She smiled when he said it. “It’s a choice.”

“It’s a bad choice. You’re one of the most beautiful women on the planet. It’s a crime to waste that.” She kissed him on the cheek, then signed the contract she had come for, and left his office a few minutes later, to go back to the farm. It had been a refuge for her for so long.



* * *



—

    In the end, Olympia got her wish. Fred got her first part in a movie for her as soon as she graduated from high school at seventeen. It was a small part, but a good start. And he signed her as a client. She was thrilled.

It was a grueling part, and a challenge for a young, inexperienced actress, but she managed it beautifully, and Antonia was proud of her when she went to watch her on the set. She knew the director, and they chatted for a few minutes when she dropped by.

She was a very tough director who guided Olympia perfectly and got the best possible performance out of her, and didn’t put up with any nonsense. Olympia wouldn’t have learned as much from her mother. Antonia knew the other director handled her a lot better than she could have, and she was glad that Olympia was having the experience of working for a stranger who set high standards and expected Olympia to meet them. And she hadn’t let her down.

Olympia’s second role was in one of her mother’s movies, and they celebrated Olympia’s eighteenth birthday on the set. The whole cast sang “Happy Birthday” to her and she absolutely glowed. She thrived on a movie set. It was home to her. There was nothing shy and retiring about Antonia’s daughter. She loved the attention and being center stage. She loved everything about acting that her mother had hated. Antonia was infinitely more comfortable behind the camera, just as she had told Hamish so long ago. He had tried to send her in another direction, but it hadn’t lasted long. It had taken her forty-three years to find her place, her voice, and the role she knew was right for her, pleasing herself, not someone else. She had come into her own.



* * *



—

    She had a new assistant director working with her on the set of her latest movie, Boden Locke, and he handled Olympia better than Antonia did too. He had a gentle, firm way about him. She was happy to have him with her. He’d been helpful and resourceful so far, but she wasn’t used to him yet. Her old AD had moved to Europe a month before. She’d been lucky to get Boden through a producer she knew.