Invisible(4)
It took them a month of arguments and discussions, and tears on Fabienne’s part, but she finally agreed to have the baby as long as he understood that she was going to pursue her acting career, whether or not they had a child. He agreed to pay for childcare so she could, which softened the blow a little for her. With a baby, she felt like she’d be in jail.
Her plans to contact the agent were rapidly postponed. She was violently sick for most of the pregnancy, which did nothing to help her warm to the idea. She begged Brandon to let her have an abortion, as she lay too sick to get up on most days, and he refused to consider it. Nor would her doctor. It was far too late for a legal abortion. She was still throwing up several times a day when she was six months pregnant, and said she hated the baby that was making her so ill. It was the only obstacle between her and the career she had dreamed of all her life and thought was within reach now. Brandon was slowly warming to the idea of the baby, although he expressed it sparingly to Fabienne, who flew into a rage whenever he mentioned it.
She made no effort to prepare for the baby. Brandon had found a larger apartment for them when they discovered she was pregnant. It was large and sunny in a handsome building, and he had to hire a decorator because Fabienne felt too ill to take any interest in it. And it was Brandon who set up the nursery in his spare time on the weekends, while Fabienne lay in bed, too nauseous to move, and too angry to do anything to help. Her doctor said that she was one of those rare women who suffered from nausea twenty-four hours a day for the entire pregnancy. Brandon wondered at times if it was because she was so opposed to the idea of having a baby, but he never suggested it to her.
He was busier than usual for the last two months of the pregnancy. He had bought another company, which had great growth potential. It was located in New Jersey, with a factory in Pittsburgh, which he acquired with the deal. He was constantly on the road between New Jersey, New York, and Pittsburgh, and had an eye on another small company in Chicago. His ventures were multiplying exponentially, as his family was expanding.
Brandon was in New Jersey when Fabienne went into labor, and rushed home to be with her, as he had promised. The baby arrived promptly on its due date in August during a heat wave in New York. Fabienne had been lying on their bed like a beached whale for the last month, and had complained constantly about how miserable she was. He thought she had never looked more beautiful, but didn’t dare to say so. She cried every time she saw herself in the mirror and was terrified the baby would ruin her figure forever. All she wanted was to have it, and get it over with. She hired a baby nurse for the first few weeks, and had babysitters lined up after that. She was planning to spend her time getting her figure back, so she could start her career in earnest by the end of the year.
She’d already been in labor for several hours by the time Brandon got to the hospital. She had gotten there by cab, while he drove to the city like a madman from New Jersey. He could hear her screaming as he rushed down the hall, and was allowed to see her for a few minutes, before he was sent to the waiting room to sit with the other fathers. When he left her with a labor nurse, Fabienne was begging for drugs for the pain, and pleaded with him not to leave her, but he had no choice. Her doctor did not allow fathers at the delivery. She had seemed so desperate that he felt guilty whenever he thought of her. A nurse told him that he could go home if he wanted, she wouldn’t deliver for several hours, and said that first babies took their time. Several of the other fathers, the more experienced ones, left and returned later. Brandon didn’t feel right leaving, and at midnight he was still there, waiting for news. She’d been in labor for fifteen hours by then, and the nurse at the desk encouraged him again to go home, and said they’d call him when the baby was born. He couldn’t imagine what Fabienne was going through, and felt sorry for her, but there was no way for him to comfort her since he couldn’t see her.
At two in the morning, he took the nurse’s advice and went home to get some sleep. At their apartment, he stopped in to look at the crib in the empty nursery, and tried to imagine what it would be like to have a baby there, and whether it would be a girl or a boy. Right now, he just wanted the ordeal to end for Fabienne, so they could start their life as a family. He was sure she would adjust to the baby once it was born. It had been causing her misery now for almost the entire nine months.
He fell into a deep, exhausted sleep as soon as he lay down and was surprised when he woke up at nine the next morning, with the sun streaming into the room. There had been no call from the hospital. Worried, he called them, and a cheerful nurse told him that it wouldn’t be long now, and his baby would probably arrive sometime that afternoon. He was shocked by what she said, and hoped she was mistaken. He couldn’t imagine what condition his wife was in if it was taking that long. He had no way of judging if that was the norm, or if something was wrong, but the nurse had said that everything was fine before she hung up.
He had coffee and went back to the hospital, and joined the fathers in the waiting room again. There was a fresh crop of men and a few of the same faces as the day before. And one by one, they left the room, when they were told that their wives had delivered a son or a daughter. Finally, at four o’clock that afternoon, a smiling young nurse in starched cap and uniform beckoned to him, and told him that he could see his daughter at the nursery window, as she led the way.
“Is everything all right?” he asked her, looking panicked. It had been the longest two days of his life, and surely of Fabienne’s.